I've turned my husband and he's turned his employer

[Umpteenthiteration]

I've been banging on for the past three years or so about what is happening with gender ideology and how damaging it is to conflate sex and gender (whatever the heck 'gender' is). Husband has nodded along and make positive noises but didn't really seem to get it. But this morning he informed me that having been involved in a consultation at work about proposed plans for a diversity and inclusion day he made it clear that they needed to replace 'gender' with 'sex' as they were two completely different things. We're talking a major global organisation here and he was giving feedback at country-level. Go him!

The conversations we have with people do make a difference.
He's been radicalised by Mumsnet by proxy.

As you were

Go him indeed... Gives me hope that Me explaining this to my dh will finally bear fruit

Go you and your husband. I turned a mom at the school gates with one brief conversation and a loan of “Irreversible damage”. Her husband lectures at a VERY “woke” university. And now she has turned him. Drip drop.

Nice one OP

Good boy! Sad when it’s the men who have to push this bolder up the hill though.

@toffeebutterpopcorn I hear what you're saying, but in this case the documents had been prepared by the female head of HR - and she was just ignorant of the whole gender and sex debate (believe it or believe it not!).

I've also radicalised my MIL as she is a staunch John Lewis and M&S shopper - so that's her local bridge club and the golfing ladies what lunch also radicalised (or at least aware) by Mumsnet by proxy. Mumsnet has a lot to answer for (thankfully!).

Having seen the recent AIBU thread 'message from a trans friend' and the responses being overwhelming for upholding women's sex-based rights I really feel the tide has turned. And we are each playing a part in this.

@Irishmom7 drip drip indeed. We are many and we will not be silenced.

Yesss!!! OP and OP’s DH.

I love these positive stories, I think the tide is turning too.

@Irishmom7

Go you and your husband. I turned a mom at the school gates with one brief conversation and a loan of “Irreversible damage”. Her husband lectures at a VERY “woke” university. And now she has turned him. Drip drop.

More power to your elbow. I've been thinking of getting Irreversible Damage or the Helen Joyce book. Is Shrier's book more accessible? Perhaps I will splash out and get both.

YES!! Well done OP. We’re getting there.

Well done op. It's the ripple in the pond effect. Brilliant news.

My husband "yes dear"s me when I read him the latest TRA shite I see here, or I go on about about males in women's sports needing banned etc. He says he agrees but I have to question if he actually "gets it" because he is, of course, a man and it feels like he has no concept of what women go through on a daily basis. So far he has never said anything countering my views and what is said on these boards but I have to wonder if any sinks in at all.

I can only hope that if ever this type of stuff comes up anywhere, he is like your DP, OP and stands up for us.

That's fantastic, OP.

Nice work!

@Abhannmor Irreversible Damage is a very easy read though it was upsetting in places so I had to take breaks.

I didn’t nod along with every word and rolled my eyes once or twice. It is very American but a real eye opener. I haven’t read Helen Joyce book yet.

I think a lot of men "get it" in the same way as a white person "gets" racism. When its over there happening to people then although we can say how terrible it is, and how it shouldn't be happening we don't really understand how it can infiltrate everyday life and how it makes you feel even when "something" isn't happening.

Its going to take a lot more men actually having the realities metaphorically slapping them around the head for any actual change to happen. Which means women and children being hurt.

@Bordois you're right. So many men cannot see nor comprehend it. I showed DH a video of a Canadian woman who filmed a man following her for over 45 minutes, all around a city. He followed her anywhere from 10ft to 50ft away, turning right when she turned right, going left when she did, even walking around the same block in circles at one point, him crossing the street when she did and back again when she did and walking was all he was doing. Walking behind her.

After about two minutes of watching the over the shoulder video I saw it for what it was. A Male intimidating, scaring and threatening a women. But my DH took most of the very long video, with added prompting from me to finally stop saying, "Yeah but he's not actually doing anything though" and "He's just walking. He's allowed to walk!" to "oh that is a bit creepy isn't it?" And my husband is a sweetheart! Wouldn't ever think to be like that.

But he doesn't get it.

I turned the Assistant Head with responsibility for pastoral issues the other week, when I went to rant at her about proposed resources for a whole school PSHE day.

Genderbread unicorn promptly went in the bin. Debate on sex-based stereotypes in school & the workplace went on the agenda.

Large chunk of the credit to JKR, to be fair - AH had vaguely heard about that, was agog at the details, & agreed it was ridiculous & vile the abuse JKR got for, as she concluded, 'well, she didn't say anything nasty & it was all just common sense, wasn't it?'

PUUULLLL.

Well done, OP and OP's DH! Fab.

PUUULLLL.

I think some men are likely to get sports as an entry point @OhRene.

Have you tried to show him a link of the New Zealand weightlifter who may compete in the Olympics?

I would also show: Rachel McKinnon cycling, Fallon Fox’s tweets about crashing skulls and a picture of her opponent, the Australian transwoman rugby player (the size compared to biological women) and comment that this particular transwoman was allowed to play but was outraged as they wanted to shower with the other women. No surgery.

If your DH is into golf, I believe that there is a transwoman golfer who relatively recently failed to qualify as a man but now is smashing it as a transwoman.

Would any of those help?

Your DH might also be surprised at the statistics that about 50% of transwomen in prisons have a history of sexual assault. And are trying to get into women’s prisons (this peaked one of my female friends).

Amazing OP and OP’s DH!

🥂

Oh, I love this thread! to all.

@toffeebutterpopcorn

Good boy! Sad when it’s the men who have to push this bolder up the hill though.

It's the timid we need to push up the hill!

(Hee hee).

I'd been yes deared till last week when a few key news articles (eg Weight lifting in Olympics and Lisa Keogh's case) and a query about pronouns for the penny to drop.

He actually thought people put pronouns in their twitter bio to be ironic. As everyone he has known of doing it is the sex they say they are.

He even did some basic maths calculations around numbers of trans people v numbers of women regarding language of "birthing people" and needing gender neutral toilets, and how many women it would affect, who would also be bothered. (Millions.)