Why do people care if there are some individuals who don't wish to identify as female or male?
On a personal level it doesn't actually affect anyone. I don't care that a person on the other side of the world doesn't wish to identify as male or female.
But it starts to affect "me" when I need to change my language. Now this person, who I have never met, has effectively taken up a part of my 'memory' because if anyone ever brings them up (I have a daughter, not impossible) I need to remember to refer to them as them.
What if that was 12 people I know, 40 people at work, and 300 celebrities? I'm expected to be conscious of all of that at all times. You could say, lets just start referring to everyone as "they/them".
But they/them is a plural? I'm a novelist and use he/she ALL THE TIME. Names are unnecessarily wordy. "Alison was sitting in Alison's garden with Derek. Alison didn't know what Alison would like to have for dinner. Alison asked Derek what Derek would like."
You can't use "they" in any case because in all cases I am talking about a he or a she. One person. I need the word "they" because "they" as a plural could have been sitting in "their" garden.
And that is a purely practical reason which doesn't touch on what society would look like if we just erased the concept of boys and girls overnight.
Anyone remember the Always #runlikeagirl campaign? How powerful was that? Both of my daughters have watched that, it's such an important piece of media.
And that wouldn't exist. Would never have been created. But that isn't because the need for that clip to be created had been erased. The need would still be there, we just couldn't do anything to highlight it or argue/ campaign against it or raise awareness/ educate on it.
When everyone is a "parent" how do we discuss needs of mothers? Of fathers?
Theoretically it would be great if we "erased" gender. I actually think that is what #runlikeagirl was trying to do - erase the concept and negative stereotypes of running like a girl.
Just like some could argue it would be great if we "erased" the concept of race. "I don't see colour".... "I am race-less". I'm not racist because I don't see colour. But we can't do that. It's incredibly harmful, and there are many articles written explaining why better than I can.
But essentially: A colourblind society is just as damaging as a racist one, because a colourblind society can never be truly colourblind. So it's essentially a racist one where racism "does not exist" and therefore can never be spoken about, or fixed.
A "colourblind" society and a "genderless" society may be possible, but only after you have fixed the system and the inequalities, and everyone agrees to be genderless and colourless, and genderblind and colourblind. Will that ever happen? Not in my lifetime. And we still have daughters and sons to raise in while we're waiting.