Single man looking for a surrogate - BBC

[OhHolyJesus]

At 34 he really doesn't need to rush to have a biological child to meet his "burning desire" but he has two embryos on ice with an attractive-sounding egg donor, rather than a partner and I'm sure he hopes the BBC article will mean someone 'comes forward' (don't all rush at once ladies) to grow a "little person" for him.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-56162721

So women need to grow and deliver babies, and possibly risk their lives for:

Infertile heterosexual couples
Gay men
Single men

...and someone will be along to say this is discriminatory against single women with careers soon, thus the new age of social surrogacy is born.

You're forgetting rich heterosexual couples.

Men shouldn’t be allowed to have children via surrogates (same goes with everyone else, but especially not men). Women are not bodies to be used for their desires, which apparently includes growing little people...

I recently read an article about a woman who was surrogate for a single man who then turned out to be trafficking children, including that baby. So - no. No surrogacy, every, under any circumstances. No.

*ever

So much entitlement.

There must be plenty of children who need a loving home. Why not adopt?

I cant imagine that surrogacy is free of the trauma and attachment issues etc that they perhaps worry adoption is going to result in.

Surrogacy is exploitive and risky akd I don't believe anyone should have the right to dictate someone's life for 9 months and maintain the option to back out any time you want leaving a struggling woman to either give the baby up, or raise it herself. One would assume if she is being a surrogate money is probably a huge issue in her life.

Funny how the BBC know what sex is when it comes to men trying to have a baby

The commodification of human infants worries me greatly.

Women are not incubators. They are women, humans, people. As are the babies they produce (or they are boys obviously, 50% of the time).

Not for hire.

End of discussion for me, whoever they're doing it for.

It's funny I used to think of surrogacy as a nice thing to do, generous and giving. Until I really read about it and looked into it, and also had my own children. Now I think it's awful. It shouldn't be allowed at all.

I can't and don't have any issue with a surrogate for gay couples.

I'm less ok with it for straight single men...why at 34 can he not wait for the right relationship and have a baby that way, like you said, his fertility is unlikely to be an issue due to age....it always makes me wonder what's "wrong" with them 🧐

I'm totally against this. That goes without saying. But I'm not even sure he's going into this with his eyes open.

He made this decision after a break up, which is the worst time to make life changing decisions.

Has he spoken to single mothers and really understood what it's like? Yes, it's amazing being a parent but doing it on your own is relentless. He's had to remortgage to pay for it so it doesn't sound like he's rolling in money. He's going to have to run a house and pay for childcare from a single salary. He's going to have sleepless nights with no one to help. His weekends will be fully taken up with his child. He will never get a break. He will have to work around childcare - no early starts or working late when you have to stick to nursery hours.

Women have much more exposure to conversations about what it's like being the main carer for children and yet they are still shocked by how much it changes your life.

I can't and don't have any issue with a surrogate for gay couples

Why?

Either its ok or its not. Nothing special happens to make it any different just because the parents are gay

@NoSuchThingAsTooMuch

I recently read an article about a woman who was surrogate for a single man who then turned out to be trafficking children, including that baby. So - no. No surrogacy, every, under any circumstances. No.

And it is your right to never be a surrogate. Your body, your choice.

I was prepared to be a surrogate for a friend of mine (they eventually adopted) - that would have been my right to do so for them. My body, my choice.

Gilead here we come.

Does the surrogate mother get to wear a free red cape? I assume that he has a carpenter knocking up a birthing stool, even as we speak

that would have been my right to do so for them. My body, my choice.

No. In many countries it isn't a right. Just like selling your organs isn't a "right". I think all surrogacy should be banned.

@Lockheart
I was prepared to be a surrogate for a friend of mine (they eventually adopted) - that would have been my right to do so for them. My body, my choice

That’s very magnanimous of you, but what about the rights of the baby? Did you read about the mother of 2 who did exactly what you’ve said and died as a result of the pregnancy? Her children are now motherless. Surrogate pregnancies are extremely risky.

Why is selling your organs illegal but this isn't? Is it because only female bodies are being exploited? And that's not even starting on the risks to the child of handing them over to a single male.

My body, my choice

Babies aren’t a commodity to be traded.

I imagine he thinks single women will be queuing up to help him look after his baby

[quote Soontobe60]@Lockheart
I was prepared to be a surrogate for a friend of mine (they eventually adopted) - that would have been my right to do so for them. My body, my choice

That’s very magnanimous of you, but what about the rights of the baby? Did you read about the mother of 2 who did exactly what you’ve said and died as a result of the pregnancy? Her children are now motherless. Surrogate pregnancies are extremely risky.[/quote]
The baby in this scenario would have been no relation to me - entirely my friends / husband's.

It is indeed risky, I did quite a bit of reading before I said yes.

@NotBadConsidering

My body, my choice

Babies aren’t a commodity to be traded.

Good job I wouldn't have been trading it for anything then isn't it?

Even apart from the issue of womb-rental, that strikes me as one of the most self-obsessed pieces I've read. All about his desires, wanting a 'mini-me'. And is a relationship something you 'put yourself through'?

@ErrolTheDragon

Even apart from the issue of womb-rental, that strikes me as one of the most self-obsessed pieces I've read. All about his desires, wanting a 'mini-me'. And is a relationship something you 'put yourself through'?

In fairness, I think most people who have children do so for entirely selfish reasons - i.e. they want one. It's all about their desires.

Nothing wrong with that but I don't think this man's desire to have a child is odd.

There was someone on here touting for a free surrogate for her and her partner. She'd already had a child by another man. Couldn't afford IVF with the partner du jour but felt very hard done she couldn't get someone to also gestate another child for her. Twas ever thus.

There is something particularly callous about this article. I think for me it’s the creating those embryos when he doesn’t even have a surrogate available.

Surrogacy is exploitive and risky akd I don't believe anyone should have the right to dictate someone's life for 9 months and maintain the option to back out any time you want leaving a struggling woman to either give the baby up, or raise it herself.

Careful now. Some surrogacy campaigners, such as Lance Black, argue that making surrogacy agreements legally binding in the UK would protect both the surrogate mother and the commissioning parents. The commissioning parents wouldn’t be able to back out, no, but neither would the surrogate mother. In parts of the US, the commissioning parents can have “parental rights” over their unborn children, even though they are inside the surrogate mother’s body.

Sadly it reminds me of people ingnoring the fact they work full and time and live in a flat and get a border collie because they like the idea of having one.