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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Do you watch porn?

551 replies

RadandMad · 18/02/2021 19:22

I've been reading a convo on Twitter where several people are claiming - including a woman - that women watch porn as well as men. My first reaction is, this isn't true. Sure, I've watched it from time to time, usually in the company of men, but it's so boring, so divorced from real sex/real bodies, that I'd almost rather do anything else.

Am I wrong? I realise I'm asking a group of women who are probably going to have a more cynical view of pornography, but I'm having a hard time believing women have a porn habit even remotely comparable to men's.

OP posts:
SqeakyHindge · 19/02/2021 04:24

@SplendidSuns1000

Occasionally. I only use sites that support sex workers.
Work?

Tell me about this job, what employment benefits are there? Is there are careers advice, what’s the pay like? Working conditions? What’s the age requirement

Most importantly have you thought about doing this?

EmmaGrundyForPM · 19/02/2021 05:06

No

Highfalutinlootin · 19/02/2021 05:16

No.

Never have, never will. Have seen clips and find it embarrassingly fake and misogynistic.

Malahaha · 19/02/2021 05:48

No. I'm even put off by by graphic sex scenes in normal films, such as Bridgerton. I don't mind being called a prude.
I've seen online lots of women claiming to watch it with their partner. I know one or two women who write porn.

Malahaha · 19/02/2021 05:50

btw my heterosexual son who lives with me and is 35 also does not watch porn.

Punching · 19/02/2021 05:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Malahaha · 19/02/2021 05:52

@JellyBabiesFan

Its so cute that there are some women who believe that their man does not watch porn.

Bless

I know for an absolute fact that my husband, who passed away two years ago, never watched porn or even possessed a magazine with pornographic images. And as I said above, my son does not.
Five67Eight · 19/02/2021 05:59

Oh gosh, some very interesting responses to this thread.

Not least the mother of a 35 man who lives at home, and who seems to know exactly what goes on behind his closed door.

Eek. I would be absolutely gutted to make such a pronouncement about my son at that age. Let alone to do it seemingly proudly.

IAmFleshIAmBone · 19/02/2021 06:17

No, I don't watch filmed rape Aka porn. People who do are disgusting and have no empathy for women.

cantbeforeal · 19/02/2021 06:18

No but I did watch it years ago before I knew the truth about how disgusting most of the women are treated. I would never watch it now and wouldn't be with someone who did.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 19/02/2021 06:25

JellyBabiesFan
Its so cute that there are some women who believe that their man does not watch porn.

Bless”

How patronising and insulting. I question the world that we live in if it is implausible to some women that some men do not watch porn. Ethically it’s not acceptable to watch porn. It exploits women and distorts the reality of sex. It’s not something that good men do.

DarkAtNight · 19/02/2021 06:35

No. Never have and never will.

JosephineBaker · 19/02/2021 06:39

No.

CarolVordermansBum · 19/02/2021 06:59

I have tried to watch in the past to see what all the fuss was about, and it was all horrible. All the suggested videos on the home page were all either horribly degrading, or featuring teens Confused

Never searched for it since.

MoltenLasagne · 19/02/2021 07:04

I used to in my teens to early twenties. I'd fallen for the "sex positive" narrative and thought it was just what people did. Then I became aware of how awful the porn industry is and now I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. I stick to erotica where there's no chance I'd accidentally be watching a woman get raped.

kateybeth79 · 19/02/2021 07:09

Not any more, but I was 16 when me and my then boyfriend started buying top shelf magazines and renting porn from the video shop in town. I watched it on and off for about 15 years, sometimes alone, sometimes with my partner, but then I discovered the Literotica website and preferred the stories. I was very naive and didn't realise about the industry when I was younger.

Crackerofdoom · 19/02/2021 07:28

I find it depressing that so many people think that those who choose not to watch it do so because of prudishness or repressed sexuality.

The average career length for a female porn star is about 18 months. They don't get paid a ton of cash and for that their bodies will be on the internet forever. They receive no royalties for their work but the website can use it forever. Men and women often prefer watching things they or their partner wouldnt be willing to do in real life so there is a disproportionate amount of rape scenarios and women being treated with distain.

Most porn starts are well under 25 and there have been many cases where videos and images have been uploaded without the woman's consent or knowledge.

If female porn starts were treated with respect, if their work could be withdrawn from circulation at their request, if they were paid a far higher amount of money, if the age to participate in pornography was higher, if there was an independent body who inspected film sets, ensured that all participants were doing so willingly and with a full understanding of the long-term consequences of what they are doing, then maybe I could enjoy porn.

It is not the images of people having sex on the screen I find awful. It is the stories behind them.

There is a very good Last Week Tonight on youtube about revenge porn and there are a couple of documentaries on Netflix about the pirn industry if people want to know more.

DarkAtNight · 19/02/2021 07:36

Crackerofdoom

Yes, exactly.

starbrightstarlight8888 · 19/02/2021 07:44

Yes I watch it regularly.

newyearnewname123 · 19/02/2021 07:46

I find it depressing that so many people think that those who choose not to watch it do so because of prudishness or repressed sexuality.

They think that? How strange. I imagine most people wouldn't want to watch people having sex "in real life" because it's weird and makes you a voyeur. Why they think it's fine because some creep filmed it, I don't understand.

Not to mention how messed up someone has to be to get involved in making it.

picklemewalnuts · 19/02/2021 07:47

@JellyBabiesFan

Its so cute that there are some women who believe that their man does not watch porn.

Bless

Those of us over 40 grew up without internet porn, top shelf mags were bought with a little embarrassment, you had to actively seek porn out. We managed to reach sexual maturity without the influence of porn, amd discover sex ourselves through trial and error rather than graphic illustration.

Our tastes are shaped by what we are exposed to. I think porn is effectively now a mainstream fetish. It's detrimental to healthy sexual development, imo.

Malahaha · 19/02/2021 08:01

Not least the mother of a 35 man who lives at home, and who seems to know exactly what goes on behind his closed door.

That would be me.

Yes, he lives at home because he recently (well, two years ago) returned from living abroad where he looked after his 96 year old grandmother until she died. He's been building a business from home since then, especially during the last year. He won't be able to afford his own place for some time to come. I'm thankful that he took care of my mother when I couldn't. He's a good lad. And yes, they exist.

He does not have a closed door. My flat is small and though he has his own room, his desk is in the living room and his computer is on all day and well into the night and the ONLY thing he is interested in is trading! I can go in any time of the day or night and that's all he's got on.

We are of a different culture to the one you know, and graphic sex is not part of that.

Believe it or not, a porn-free life even in this day and age is not some kind of alien invasion from a different planet. It's very easy to avoid, for men as well as women.

Malahaha · 19/02/2021 08:11

@Five67EightI should add that bitcoin trading is not the "only" thing he's interested in; he also has an 11 year old daughter and she's actually his main obsession. She, too, lives in a different country in which he cannot live or work for now. They talk every day and his main objective in life is working out some way they can live in the same country.
Being an international family is hard in these times especially. It was hard even without covid.

WomenAndVulvas · 19/02/2021 08:28

Yes, regularly.

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 19/02/2021 08:32

No because it's hugely exploitative.