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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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50:50 Parliament Campaign to Encourage Women in Politics now have TWO Transwomen on the Panel

999 replies

gardenbird48 · 15/02/2021 18:28

I saw 50:50 women tweet to Sue Pascoe Chair of the Conservative Women’s Organisation some time ago on their #askhertostand, but then I couldn’t find the tweet and thought maybe they’d realised their mistake (can you guess?) and deleted it.

However, how wrong I was! There are now two people that have extremely limited ‘lived experience’ as a female (Sue was a married father and successful businessman and Master to Foxhounds until a few years ago). The other person has said hi on here recently.

I don’t mean to be rude but surely the whole point of encouraging women to stand for Parliament is to help overcome the barriers women face in entering politics. Any barriers that trans people face are rather different. It is also interesting that on a panel of three for their ‘Encouraging LGBT+ Women to Stand’ campaign, there us only one person with actual lived experience of being a woman (I am hoping that Mandu Reid of the WEP was born female at least...??)

50:50 Parliament Campaign to Encourage Women in Politics now have TWO Transwomen on the Panel
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DeaconBoo · 16/02/2021 18:48

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Delphinium20 · 16/02/2021 18:53

Thanks to Barracker women's voices continued to be heard. I got one of the early deletions, which resulted in a strike.

I'm not upset with MN as I'm sure being an early poster, my strike was likely reported due to visibility of being in the front of the line, as other posters, thanks to Barracker seem to have found a way to say what I believe I had stated.

Getting a deletion doesn't feel great, and I truly believed I was following rules. I can confidently say I did not attack a person nor use crude, hateful or insulting language. For my own sense of dignity, I want to note that I did not directly name anyone nor intend to cause offense. I personally have trans people in my life and love them.

I am a woman and I want my sex class to include protections for girls and women. I truly am grateful we have this forum but I also want those following this thread to be aware that it can really sting when what you think is just a wordy "no," becomes controversial.

As Glosswitch recently stated so eloquently, "You can dress up a female ‘no’ any way you like – with stats, with humour, with kindness, with sarcasm, with pain – and it’s still completely unacceptable to anyone who believes he has the right to a ‘yes’. "

Now that I've been stung, I'd advise women, especially wordy ones like me, to practice a simple one-word declaration:

NO

RobinMoiraWhite · 16/02/2021 18:54

@Barracker

I know some are still willing to take what they see as reasonable compromises with language. But honestly, when we pretend that it's ok for some men to be called 'transwomen', that use of the word 'woman' right there in relation to a man is all it takes to render the truth invisible and impossible to reassert.

We end up trying to argue about a somethingwoman representing us, when the truth is, it's just a man.

We end up arguing the case for somethingwomen to argue for their own increased representation, a bit like the otherwomen - us. But what we're actually doing is arguing for more men. This is insane.

Men don't need extra representation of a certain type of man. There are already too many men. Far too many. If men who don't like certain sartorial choices, or who don't have certain personality types think it vital to cede places to men who do, have at it, men. I don't think that's an important characteristic, but you can fight your own battles amongst yourselves.

There's only one antidote to the situation we find ourselves in, and it's brutally plain speech. So it's no coincidence that laws are springing up and policies being written and public platforms enacting censorship to prevent anyone from using it.

Men are men. We need to be able to say "this is a man, he's simply a man" whether the man dislikes us saying it or not.
Truth, fairness and dignity demand it.

Couching words in euphemisms and lies is rendering it impossible to cut to the truth.

Men are representing women.
Men are taking women's places.
Men are dictating the language women can use.
Men are breaching women's boundaries.
Men are rewriting rules for what women may and may not do.

And yet, we are forbidden from pointing to a single man who is doing this and stating "He is a man".

It doesn't matter if a man thinks me rude or hurtful for referencing him as the man that he is. It's vital that the truth is used.

No amount of his hurt feelings at us both knowing that he's a man can measure up against the monstrous injustice enacted upon women in forcing us to pretend he's any kind of a woman. It's psychological torture and well he knows it.

Ironic that I should try to say this here on Mumsnet, where it's a bannable offence to actually tell a specific named man that he's a man, if he forbids me to.

I'm only allowed to generalise. I'm permitted to say 'all males are men', but not 'this male here is a man'.

So here's a challenge, RobinMoiraWhite.

Extend your explicit permission to the women on Mumsnet to state the truth which is so unpalatable to you. Tell MNHQ that they should not censor or ban women for knowing and saying what you are in relation to your sex. Either to you directly, or about you. If you allow women to talk to you in the framework of naming reality, we can meet on this forum as equals.
We can debate as equals.
Because right now, we are not. You are the opposite sex to me, and you are also in possession of the power to have me banned and censored if I challenge you with the truth.

I cannot have you censored and banned for calling yourself a woman. Nor would I. I would rather successfully argue my case why you are not.
But you can have me censored and banned for calling you a man.
Waive your power to do that. You shouldn't have that power.

Other men who still call themselves transwomen have extended their 'permission' to allow women to refer to them as the men they are. It shouldn't be lost on you that we're in a situation of such a power imbalance that women require a man's permission to call him a man.

So. If you see women as your equals, I'm asking you to waive your right to censor us. If you believe in the power of honest debate, you will cede your power to have women banned for stating the truth.

You will call yourself what you wish.
And we will refer to you in our own honest, civil and fair terms.

Then we can meet as equals.

What do you say?

The answer is straightforward.

This is not my site, I don’t set the rules of debate or the standards of civility expected and it isn’t up to me to change them or lower them for you.

The fact that some individuals here find even the current standards difficult is illustrated by the number of deletions and the like. One can only imagine and equivalent site with no boundaries. So no, I won’t be ‘validating’ anyone’s unrestricted desire to say what they like.

Free speech is a privilege (and it comes with responsibilities.) I have known societies where it was not a privilege that people had and there are still some around the world today. If you can’t find a way to express yourself on controversial within those boundaries, just as I do in my working life every day, then don’t look to me to validate abhorrent behaviour.

If you want to create your own space with no boundaries about what you can say, then that is your right. But don’t expect me - or the majority of society - to respect that or visit you there.

JazSakuraRose · 16/02/2021 18:55

@picklemewalnuts "In saying you are a woman, you are saying you are the same as me."

Yes. Otherwise you end up with the impossibility that nobody can be a woman. After all, are you the same as my mother? Her mother? My friend, a mother of 3 children? My friend who chose not to have children? My friend who cannot have children? Are you the same as all of those people simultaneously, or are you different from them?

By your argument nobody is the same as any other person, and therefore nobody can be a woman. Or you do not mean that? In which case we are the same. Just women.

"When an archaeologist digs me up- no doubt."

I studied archaeology at university (one of the subjects I studied). There are doubts given to identification of sex based on skeletal remians. Something that can readily be seen in recent examples.

"I am a woman, nothing I do can ever change that. No hormones, no surgery. I am a woman whether I like it or not, with all the added mess, responsibility and hassle that goes with it, that I can't change. I am a woman."

Likewise. Hormones and surgery don't change that I am a woman. Hormones and surgery do not make me any more or any less of a woman than you. Just simply a woman.

But as I said, that you struggle with that is not my problem to solve or deal with. That is yours. I do not deny that you are a woman. I merely point out that respect is a two-way street. If you cannot respect the autonomy of another when she posts saying that she is a woman then why should she afford you that respect? And yet, I do.

@ArabellaScott I am a woman.That's remarkably simple. And as multiple posters on here are very quick to point out, by dictionary definiton I must also be an Adult Human Female. That's the problem with argumentum ad dictionarium. It's called a fallacy for a reason.

"I don't think you've understood what 'boundaries' mean, there. You are defining yourself, using words of your choice. That's fine."

Then by your own admission I do understand boundaries. That my boundaries include the right to state who I am and not have that claim discarded and who I am not forced upon me. I am not a man. To try and force that claim upon me is a violation of my boundaries.

@RedToothBrush "Asserting your boundaries at the expense of women rather than understanding that that can not work"

So what boundaries of yours have I asserted that in any way violates yours? I have merely stated who I am. Is my existence an affront to you? No? Then my existence as a woman cannot possibly come at the expense of your boundaries.

Have I asserted my boundaries by pointing out you don't get to override my autonomy, you don't get to try to force your claim I am not a woman on me? Yes. That is not a violation of your boundaries in any sense. It is merely pointing out that your belief (wrong as it is) about who I am is not yours to force on me. It is not for you to define who I am and demand that I must accept it.

"Rights which clash include a need to compromise."

And yet I have not seen what rights these are that clash? Privacy and dignity? Are these not rights that all enjoy? Access to services? Likewise. I am not the one who has ever demanded that somebody must not be allowed to access a woman's service for no other reason than I've decided on my tod that they aren't allowed to be a woman and therefore I'm going to force my belief onto them. I've never sought to violate another's autonomy like that.

@sanluca "JazSakuraRose, where in your mind do the biological differences between men and women go?"

Where do the biological differences between individuals go? Where do the biological differences between groups of people go? At what point do you draw the line? At what point do you realise that trying to treat people as a monolithic block really doesn't workout that well, especially for women, under the medical system?

An example. When you see your doctor or if you have treatment do you wish it to be your medical notes and history that is used, or merely just some random woman's? Or, even worse, just a flattened out stereotype of what a woman should suffer from, and what she can't suffer from? We used to have exactly that kind of medical system. In many ways we still do. Just ask women from ethnic minority backgrounds just how often their medical professionals treat them not as individuals, but instead through the lens of racist sterotyping.

Where do the differences go? In my experience, in the experience of very many women, they go poorly. Ill-judged. And lead to things that should not be cheered at all.

"But there is still two sex classes, male and female."

That is a belief that you wish to have. But as we have seen with the growth of legal recognition of non-binary people it simply isn't true.

@JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown "You're not asserting your boundaries. You are overriding ours."

How? Precisely please. Vague assertions of, 'you are overriding ours', when you provide no boundary of yours that has been overridden by the simple fact of my existence kind of proves my point. That you are unhappy that I have the temerity to be me. To not back down to the beliefs of others who think they have the right to demand that I can only be who they say I am.

"Women are telling you that we want to speak for ourselves. You are overriding that by insisting that we do not need our own voice."

And where have I said that?

"I find it particularly ironic that you say you'll speak for us, even as you ignore and refute everything we're saying."

Again, where have I said that? In my post I speak for myself. That is clear.

@Barracker "Hi Jaz. I'm female; the opposite *sex to you."

See, there you go doing the very thing I clearly said, "No" to. It is not for you to force your misguided belief on who you demand I must be onto me. By trying to claim that I'm the opposite sex to you that is exactly what you have done. And as you are no doubt aware, 'No' is not the beginning of a negotion or bargaining. It is a statement in its own right. If you wish to maintain your misguided belief that I am the opposite sex to you then knock yourself out. But it has nothing to do with who I am. It has nothing to do with the simple fact that I am a woman, that is my sex.

@SophocIestheFox Are trying to argue that if all women are together then no woman can offer special insight, or that women can't offer special insight at all? I disagree entirely. All women are unique and individual. All have an insight to offer that is unique to themselves, yourself and myself included.

@CaraDuneRedux "Get women thinking seriously about the difference between adjective + noun (brown horse) and compound noun (seahorse)."

So you are arguing that women should only be referred to by the use of compound nouns? A curious argument. Or you could accept that respect goes both ways? If you wish to refer to one group of women like myself by a compound noun then that applies to all groups of women. If you insist on transwomen then by definiton are you not a nottranswoman in relation to me? Or are you, like myself, just the plain, simple word 'woman'? (I'd add I'd prefer to not reference people who aren't trans using a negative, but Mumsnet for some strange reason has decided it doesn't like the correct term used both in science and in daily life—as evidenced by it being in the dictionaries—for people who aren't trans and I do try to stay in the rules laid out by my host).

@allHelmetbymidnight ^"I don't think Jaz will return. They've just posted their ranty stream of nonsense onto twitter to get the likes.
Call yourself what you like, Jaz. We know what you are. ;)"^

Do you? My word. If you would indulge me, where did we meet? Dying to know. Or is it that you don't know me?

@OldCrone ^"But when a male-born person"

And there's that torturous use of language again. How many people are born to males? I know there have been some (I do, after all, accept the autonomy of trans men who have said that they are male and have given birth), but I do not believe there to be so many as to warrant such a claim as follows. Nor does the existence of a relative handful of people born to trans men redefine, 'woman'. Not even my existence does that. Trans people have always been around. Women like myself, under the aegis of our own autonomy, have always been women. That you may be unaware of that does not change the meaning of the word, 'woman', only (possibly) your knowledge of the meaning of that word.

"A woman is an adult female human."

And as I have already clearly set out in my post, I am a woman and it is not for you to demand that i cannot be. So according to your own statement that means I must be an adult human female.

@yaboo "Yes, it's frightening. It's frightening to be forced to deny reality."

Welcome to almost the whole of my life. Because that is my life. People trying to force me to deny the simple reality that I am a woman. It was that force, that violation of my own autonomy, that forced me to hide who I was for the longest time. Even now—now that I no longer hide—I still face people who seek to force me to deny a simple reality that people like myself are women.

"that understanding basic human reproduction is somehow flawed and political and fascistic."

Curiously enough, people not knowing how basic human reproduction doesn't work hasn't stopped pregnancies occuring. In fact, it does tend to be the other way round. The more knowledge one has the better one is informed to make choices about contraception, etc. Should we not aim for a totally inclusive education on such things? Should we not adopt the most inclusive ways possible to include everybody, be they women, or men, or non-binary people? Should we not teach others that different people can have different genital configurations and that it is not the existence or lack of a bulge down below that makes a man a man? Or should we teach others that it's the packet down below that makes a man a man? That if you shouldn't have one then you can't be a man, or if it's smaller than others then you are less of a man? Of course not. And so reducing people to their genitals to do nothing more than try to claim that some women aren't women plays into the worst aspects of patriarchal standards and toxic masculinity.

"Sex isn't an 'option'."

No, it isn't an option for me. That's why, no matter how hard I tried to be a man I never was. It's why, no matter how hard other people try to force me to be a man or male I never will be.

@BoreOfWhabylon "It appears that actual biology makes a difference when assessing COVID Risk though"

Oestrogen levels. That's the main difference so far. Rather successful trials using oestrogen supplements on men who aren't trans in regards to Covid. Of course, the subsequent dysphoria was apparently rather appalling. I know how that feels.

@JellySlice "If you you want to donate a kidney or other tissue, it's not enough to say "I'm compatible because I want to be, I'm compatible because I love them, I'm compatible because I say I am." No, you have to prove it with tissue-typing."

But I am not donating a kidney, nor am I kidney. And as kidneys aren't sentient beings your analogy rather falls apart.

@Flapjak I rather feel you entirely missed the point of my post. It is not for you to demand or claim that I am not a woman. That does not lie within your power. It doesn't lie within anybody elses power apart from my own. And incidentally, yes, I will be filling in the census as 'female'.

@happydappy2 ^"If only men can be transwomen"

And there your argument falls apart, happydappy2woman. I am not a man. Nor am I that weird compond noun you've used. I'm just a woman. Simple as.

@EmpressWitchDoesntBurn "I think Jaz should take the shortwomen gaywomen brownhairedwomen thing to AIBU. It would be well received, I’m sure."

Indeed. Doing so would rather neatly prove my point, would it not? That it simply isn't acceptable to refer to any woman in such a manner, including women like me. We are all just women.

@AbsintheFriends "Also frightening that any woman saying 'I am a man' doesn't command a fraction of the power and entitlement that oozes from Jaz's post."

What "entitlement" is that, Absinthe? I have only stated that it does not lie in your power, or anybody else's, to demand that I can only be what you demand I must be. But that is as equally true for men who are trans, and non-binary people as it is for women like me who are trans. So what "entitlement" is there that you claim exists?

"and yet the law is allowed to do exactly that when the person is a woman asserting that they are a man."

A legal obscenity I've spent years fighting to remove. Curiously enough reforming the GRA would have achieved exactly that. Remind me again which group of people it was who fought to keep that legal obscenity in place?

@Justhadathought "Being female and in a female body is just a fact."

Yes? And? It is a fact of many people. See above as to the answer I'll be giving on the census. And my body is exactly that. My body.

334bu · 16/02/2021 18:56

This thread has upset me. It’s knocked my feet out. Come and talk to me about women. Talk to me about inequality. Talk to me about how you can help women.... you don’t know women. If you did you would know you could do so much good for women. Real broken women. Not bloody gender politics. Real women who are so desperate and lost there isn’t hope. TALK TO ME.

💐

RedToothBrush · 16/02/2021 19:01

Yawn.

Lecture away.

The answer is still no and my boundaries are eroded merely by telling me i am unable to define my own sex and gender must replace it.

Gender is sexism.

Helmetbymidnight · 16/02/2021 19:03

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GeorgeMichaelsEspadrille · 16/02/2021 19:06

How can ideology be allowed to trump scientific fact?

How can women stating scientific facts have their messages deleted to avoid offending someone's ideology?

I don't understand why fundamental, basic facts are not allowed to be said.

This is so distressing.

MrsWooster · 16/02/2021 19:07

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Justhadathought · 16/02/2021 19:07

Yes? And? It is a fact of many people. See above as to the answer I'll be giving on the census. And my body is exactly that. My body

Yes, it is a fact for all women.

Nobody is disputing that your body is your body.

Nobody is demanding you express stereotypical gender presentations that you don't feel comfortable with, or identify with. That was the whole point of both the women's and the gay liberation movements.

Justhadathought · 16/02/2021 19:11

If you want to create your own space with no boundaries about what you can say, then that is your right. But don’t expect me - or the majority of society - to respect that or visit you there

Most people here are perfectly capable of moderating their words so as not to wilfully offend. nobody wants to wilfully offend. That is not the point. That does not come at the price of truth or the freedom to speak the truth, though

Delphinium20 · 16/02/2021 19:12

I'm not sure the laws on free speech in all areas of the globe, but I am a citizen in a country where free speech is not a privilege, it is a RIGHT. In fact, it's the first right in our Bill of Rights. I'm not trying to play into American exceptionalism (which can be insulting and annoying), but as a citizen in a country with the right to free speech, I wouldn't ever wish it to be a mere privilege.

Of course, my right doesn't guarantee I won't be booted off this forum, but I won't go to jail for speaking my mind.

In practice, free speech can be messy and not always protected as it should (just look at US universities), but no other principle that I can think of allows for equal representation as does the ability to speak your mind without fear of government retribution.

If women in the U.K. have merely a privilege and not a right to speech, I am even more in awe of your bravery here. HaloU.K. women!!!

RedToothBrush · 16/02/2021 19:13

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MaudTheInvincible · 16/02/2021 19:15

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MichelleofzeResistance · 16/02/2021 19:17

I'm sorry you find other women speaking their truth, their reality and explaining their feelings and needs to be 'abhorrent'.

But I'm afraid that illustrates the entire problem in a nutshell.

picklemewalnuts · 16/02/2021 19:17

Don't be ridiculous Jaz. The ways in which I am like your mother are too long to list. And I can say that without having met her.

CoffeeTeaChocolate · 16/02/2021 19:19

I agree that free speech cannot be absolute. do think that there are things which should not be allowed to say or write. Incitement to violence is one of them.

But since when was it not allowed to state biological facts? When did stating scientific facts become overstepping boundaries?

This is like something from a bad science fiction novel. Or a like what the church imposed on Galileo. It seems that the women on this board are saying “and yet it moves”.

Justhadathought · 16/02/2021 19:19

Otherwise you end up with the impossibility that nobody can be a woman. After all, are you the same as my mother? Her mother? My friend, a mother of 3 children? My friend who chose not to have children? My friend who cannot have children? Are you the same as all of those people simultaneously, or are you different from them

Utter confusion.

Nobody says that all women are the same in character, personality, background or life experience. What all women and girls have in common, though, is the fact of their female body and biology. It is the female body and biology which necessitates singles sex spaces, services and sports in the first instance. This is almost universally recognised, even if it is still to be implemented in some countries.

The mind, however, is largely free to imagine whatever it likes.

DeaconBoo · 16/02/2021 19:20

Over in another thread we were looking at this list of logical fallacies:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies

Just wanted to clarify that the intention behind posting it wasn't to constitute some sort of "challenge" or bingo game.

RedToothBrush · 16/02/2021 19:22

@MichelleofzeResistance

I'm sorry you find other women speaking their truth, their reality and explaining their feelings and needs to be 'abhorrent'.

But I'm afraid that illustrates the entire problem in a nutshell.

You mean women are not allowed to do this because its offensive to Jaz?

Women having opinions, feelings and experiences offend. Why not just lock us up and refuse to allow us out without the permission of men so we cant have those dangerous possibilities....?

Darcinian · 16/02/2021 19:23

Well, I am now completely convinced that the biological classes male and female do not exist in any meaningful way.

DH can have a coil fitted instead of me so we don't get pregnant. Excellent.

Who is going to tell the livestock farmers? Their lives are going to get a lot more complicated. God knows how they'll decide which animal to milk and which to put out to stud.

Thought experiments are such fun.

Mnusernc · 16/02/2021 19:24

You would be able to comprehend the conflicts of interest if you identified with women.

Justhadathought · 16/02/2021 19:26

Then by your own admission I do understand boundaries. That my boundaries include the right to state who I am and not have that claim discarded and who I am not forced upon me. I am not a man. To try and force that claim upon me is a violation of my boundaries

Facts just are. Some things are immutable, no matter what we imagine ( or how we identify) to the contrary. Nobody is trying to force you to conform to, or express anything you do not feel comfortable with, or identify with.

Likewise you should not seek to force your self definition onto others. They too have boundaries mediated by biological instinct and self protection and preservation.

How about 'third spaces'?

RedToothBrush · 16/02/2021 19:27

@Darcinian

Well, I am now completely convinced that the biological classes male and female do not exist in any meaningful way.

DH can have a coil fitted instead of me so we don't get pregnant. Excellent.

Who is going to tell the livestock farmers? Their lives are going to get a lot more complicated. God knows how they'll decide which animal to milk and which to put out to stud.

Thought experiments are such fun.

I can't wait to read a book on how to determine the gender identity of cows to prove that sex isnt real. Or a book on how humans have evolved past cows to breed in interesting new ways thus proving sex does not exist.
VioletAlder · 16/02/2021 19:28

Sunlight.

I am not the same sex as you, Jaz. & I do not think you are convincing any of the other women here, either.

You can make whatever assertions you like, & women are still going to say 'No, you are wrong about that'.

You cannot force team with women who are saying 'No, you are not of the same sex as us'.

Well, obviously you can. You can say it until you are blue in the face. & women will still be saying No.

Swipe left for the next trending thread