Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunbury’s Eighth- Sealion training for beginners

999 replies

SophocIestheFox · 13/02/2021 21:08

Old thread nearly full!

————————————-

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

Remember there are people out there who would like to silence us by fair means or foul.

This is a continuation of the Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3944572-Bunburys-guide-to-community-disruptors-part-5?pg=40

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging. AS is your friend.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted.. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we always have community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the ‘Break it Down for me’ and ‘It never happens’ threads but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
PotholeParadies · 18/02/2021 23:42

A thread canvassing women's views on visual materials, perchance?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 18/02/2021 23:45

Yeah - I think Tinsel means that one.

The question has been asked on FWR before.

Most answers are 'no' - but you can bet that a certain subset of avid watchers (of the site, not just the visual materials) will pop in to say that it's liberating.

boatyardblues · 18/02/2021 23:47

Anyone else feeling conflicted about one of the new threads? Hmm

ErrolTheDragon · 18/02/2021 23:49

It's somewhat interesting, I think: whereas the cisgender thread is nearly all 'nope' , the other has a range of views. So, shows FWR isn't a private bubble chamber where only heterodox views are tolerated. If the posts on some issues seem one sided it's because that's the way women think (or they're profoundly uninterested in the concept).

fatblackcatspaw · 19/02/2021 00:09

@TinselAngel

Slightly bewildered by a current thread with goes very much against the FWR grain Confused
is planning a holiday retreat island 'going against the spirit of MorningtonCrescent' ?
YetAnotherSpartacus · 19/02/2021 00:10

I've just seen the comments by MNHQ in the site thread re the deletions. Some of these were about 'piling on'. I find this interesting because the floodgates were previously opened for teachers to be piled on and for people to make absolutely vile comments about Meghan Markle and posters often get 'piled on' hence the frequent 'this site is mean' posts (mainly, but not always, referring to AIBU) - but when this comes to posters making astute comments about the claims of posters and the contradictions to these claims that might be evidenced in publicly available Twitter accounts then somehow that is ' not in the spirit' or breaks talk guidelines.

fatblackcatspaw · 19/02/2021 00:16

humm its the enabling I find so frustating....

fatblackcatspaw · 19/02/2021 00:16

frustrating.... well off to watch All Creatures Great And Small where the sex binary is understood

boatyardblues · 19/02/2021 06:39

One for the Weetabix fans to file away. Tfrom this thread.

Bunbury’s Eighth- Sealion training for beginners
Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 19/02/2021 08:25

It looks as if the p0rn thread has been deleted.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 19/02/2021 08:26

Did they give a reason?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 19/02/2021 08:28

It's still there!

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 19/02/2021 08:34

I found it just after I posted. 😳

ErrolTheDragon · 19/02/2021 08:40

If there a board which is very specifically on the subject of one groups rights, and someone posts who that group believes is directly opposed to their rights, it's hardly surprising if there will be a lot of posts repudiating them.Confused

Can you imagine if a white person who'd taken a place on a black panel showed up on the black MNers board?

ErrolTheDragon · 19/02/2021 08:43

Tangentially, I do wish the name of this board hadn't been changed from Feminism and Women's Rights. I can't remember why it was exactly - I think when it was split into different topics (theory etc which aren't used much) the baby was thrown out with the bath water by renaming the main part merely 'Chat'. We still all call it FWR, of course.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 19/02/2021 08:49

I fucking hate that pile on word

Ok two words

If mnhq think that giving your opinion on a thread is a pile on then i really think they should clarify who is allowed to post

Maybe just one post each like there is sometimes on the interview threads...or do i have to add up how many people have said ‘no’ for example and not add to that

The fact that threads REGULARLY only have one maybe two posters arguing that the dismantling of womens rights is A OK is hardly the problem of others who think completely the opposite

And yes to celeb threads....

Posters ask a question, get shedloads of answers and then complain about a pile on 😒 i tend to ignore them anyway...but they’d be pissed if everyone did it

Oh and while im here...flaming....fucks sake. Although my day is made when someone says it and everyone ignores the comment, or ‘i know this is contentious but....’when 50 people have already said it

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 19/02/2021 08:52

OR

(Just remembered another one)

When people say ‘am i the only one who thinks....’

😒

I know thats got nothing to do with the thread...might look at that site stuff thread and ask questions....

Mumofgirlswholiketoplaywithmud · 19/02/2021 09:26

Where did the Twitter thread go? Are we allowed to talk about the violence women receive for not agreeing that TW are literally adult human females?

Bunbury’s Eighth- Sealion training for beginners
ArabellaScott · 19/02/2021 09:43

Hm. Come election time, everyone be sure not to 'pile on' to one party, eh? That would be really unfair, especially to the Libdems.

Winesalot · 19/02/2021 09:46

Maybe just one post each like there is sometimes on the interview threads...or do i have to add up how many people have said ‘no’ for example and not add to that

I just said this on the other thread about the 50:50. Rufus I too would like this qualified because it is simply going to be unfair to apply it when this board is full of women wanting the same thing, it is always going to be considered a ‘pile on’ if we all post.

CharlieParley · 19/02/2021 09:56

@MaudTheInvincible

That poor opossum mum. Talk about touched out!
Why does no one ever tell you about that? I had so many books on parenting the early years, yet not one of them ever mentioned that feeling. I spent years thinking I'm a terrible person because of it.

On another note, than you all for the marsupial chat. Lovely read over my morning coffee.

MichelleofzeResistance · 19/02/2021 10:04

Also has to be some responsibility from someone who is a) choosing to post under their own name about their choice to represent women in a parliamentary post and b) being downright contemptuous and dismissive of women and open about their determination to ignore women's views, needs, lived reality while c) openly provoking posters with phrases like 'listening' while making it clear there is nothing women have to say that they would wish to listen to.

If you choose to behave like isn't it asking a bit much that you aren't disagreed with? Or that only a few women may have their say in reply?

Why is it women's job to suck up the disadvantage and support and enable the person who is openly disadvantaging them and explaining that they really don't care? Why should women be nice and protective in this situation?

No one was rude. No one was offensive. There were explained, detailed posts. Why is it down to women to be enablers of this? And to be sure not to state their views too much in too great numbers in case it creates bad optics?

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 19/02/2021 10:38

@Winesalot

Maybe just one post each like there is sometimes on the interview threads...or do i have to add up how many people have said ‘no’ for example and not add to that

I just said this on the other thread about the 50:50. Rufus I too would like this qualified because it is simply going to be unfair to apply it when this board is full of women wanting the same thing, it is always going to be considered a ‘pile on’ if we all post.

Absolutely

If someone wants to see a pile on they should trot over to the doghouse and tell everyone that dogs are pants

Or style beauty...tell em how much you like boden

Ereshkigalangcleg · 19/02/2021 10:57

Also has to be some responsibility from someone who is a) choosing to post under their own name about their choice to represent women in a parliamentary post and b) being downright contemptuous and dismissive of women and open about their determination to ignore women's views, needs, lived reality while c) openly provoking posters with phrases like 'listening' while making it clear there is nothing women have to say that they would wish to listen to.

If you choose to behave like isn't it asking a bit much that you aren't disagreed with? Or that only a few women may have their say in reply?

YY.

OldCrone · 19/02/2021 11:24

If mnhq think that giving your opinion on a thread is a pile on then i really think they should clarify who is allowed to post

And what's the difference between a pile-on and a lot of posters who have a similar point of view all posting at the same time? One of the real-name posters on that thread posted a question to us which many of us gave an honest response to. Is it a pile-on when someone states their opinion, asks whether others agree, and lots of people say they don't and explain why? That's more or less the whole purpose of AIBU, so why is it forbidden here?