Name changed for this because I don't want it linked to my usual account.
I've been good friends with this woman for almost 20 years - there's a lot of history there, so the stakes feel quite high. We've had lots of discussions about feminism and trans issues over the past couple of years. I am very gender critical, she is less hardline. I'd describe her as gender sceptical. She would describe herself as a feminist for sure. I think she can see the problems with self-ID, etc, but I also think she also still wants to be seen as inclusive and woke and 'kind'. When we've spoken about the topic in the past, she struggles to reconcile these two perspectives.
Anyway, I haven't seen her in person for about a year because of covid, but we've been keeping in close touch via WhatsApp. Last week we were messaging and the subject of Eddie Izzard came up and I said something about how the mantra TWAW denies biological reality. Then she responded saying that when I say things like that it makes her really uncomfortable.
I was surprised because I thought we were both on the same page with that, but I guess not. I just replied saying that it's impossible for humans to change sex - what makes you uncomfortable about that? She didn't reply again so I left it, and I haven't contacted her again either.
It's been a week now since that chat and I really am in two minds about whether I should reach out and apologise. On the one hand she is obviously entitled to draw and assert her boundaries where she wants, and I will be respectful of them. But on the other hand, I don't want to apologise for stating that biology is real - if she is uncomfortable with me saying that, then I think that is up to her to explore and reconcile why it makes her uncomfortable - i.e. it's not my fault she feels that way.
Now I know where her boundary is on the topic, I won't push it again, but I don't even know how to break the stalemate and move things forward.
Do I have anything to apologise for?