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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
OP posts:
20mum · 29/12/2020 19:37

Yes. But I have made a link between the old style 'pornography for women' of trashy romances, and the precursor of that, in the fairy tale princesses.

Women imbibe the story that their future is to find and keep the 'prince' substitute, (and of course his spawn) without whom they can have no existence.

Sexism for infants hasn't gone. It is horrifying, looking at infant t.v. programme adverts, to see the plastic tat for both boys and girls, but excessively for girls, with pink glittery plastic trash, to play at being indoors and at being fairy princesses. Very slightly older, they can also play at make up and hair styles. Admittedly some are more up to date, depicting daddy taking boy and girl children out on ordinary activities. (I wasn't sure if it was good to see him doing childcare alone, or a mistake, if it suggests mummy must be indoors doing the household slave tasks?)

A human born with a penis is born to boss and rule. A human born without, can aspire to be a womb-plus-broom breeder and domestic worker if she is lucky enough to be selected by one of these rulers, as his 'own'.

NationalEspresso · 29/12/2020 20:36

I have some quite frank discussions with my soon to be 14 year old daughter, as she tells me how disgusting boys her age are because they're always looking at porn on their phones.
These discussions stemmed from the fact that she and her friend witnessing a 'little kid' (year 5 or 6) openly masturbating on the school bus - and the resulting fallout when I had to report it to school, who dealt with it atrociously (not UK).

I feel really sorry for teenagers and find it really concerning that the stuff they are watching is shaping their evolving attitudes to sex.

This is a useful campaign and website.

fightthenewdrug.org

20mum · 29/12/2020 21:17

We are too steeped in the tradition of training girls to be eager to please. An old teacher remarked "girls are easy, they will just get on with their work because they want to please teacher, but boys need more effort and attention because they will only work to please themselves".

The phrases "be a good girl" or " let's make you a pretty girl" are not intended as child abuse, but it is conditioning, because we don't think the best instruction for a boy involves being compliant, obedient, and making it the central focus of his existence, not to enjoy himself, nor to BE himself, but instead to do whatever is pleasing to others.

We certainly never make it the main focus of attention on him to do whatever it takes to be praised for his appearance, instead of for his ability, effort, achievement or work.

We have conditioned girls to want to please others, and boys to want to please themselves. Isn't that exactly what the thread is about?

P.S. I see it as all of a piece with women hanging out their skin in public, where men are covered, such as nearly any pair of t.v. presenters, she with low neck, bare shoulders or bare arms, and of course her legs out and wearing obvious makeup and painful shoes. The same with a formal dinner, or women and men singers Why?
And men can choose never to smile unless they want to, but women find it hard to resist smiling constantly. Why?
And an old fat non-good-looking man is fine for t.v., an old OR a fat OR a non-good-looking woman is unfit to be seen. Why?

Because women must be pleasing to men, men must please themselves.

queenofknives · 29/12/2020 22:23

*This is a useful campaign and website.

fightthenewdrug.org*

Thanks.

OP posts:
queenofknives · 29/12/2020 22:23

(bold fail, sorry)

OP posts:
Siameasy · 29/12/2020 22:45

I think a lot of teenagers spend more time discussing concepts than actually getting out there and, I dunno, snogging Kevin behind the bike sheds
I also find it interesting that a lot of young teens are declaring themselves asexual when they probably haven’t had a sexual experience yet.
Abigail Shrier said this generation of teens are having fewer romantic liaisons than ever.

Yogatomorrow · 30/12/2020 20:58

20mum You have very clear and enlightening points of view. Thanks for posting.

shellydashock · 31/12/2020 04:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FunkBus · 31/12/2020 04:30

I hate the argument about enjoying strangling. Even if I did enjoy it, I can't imagine being with a man who enjoyed doing that to women. It is such a fucked up thing to want to do to someone.

shellydashock · 31/12/2020 04:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

queenofknives · 31/12/2020 08:47

@shellydashock

I enjoy being grabbed by the throat and pinned against a wall or whatever. Not exactly strangulation it's more the domination and control that gets me going.
That is sexual violence. You are free to enjoy it but most women would be absolutely terrified if a man did that to her. It shouldn't be considered a normal part of sexuality but something that is pretty 'out there' and only to be tried between adults after careful negotiation and safety precautions. It's extremely scary and very dangerous.

As for your point blaming women for wanting casual sex... to be honest I can't get my head around this at all. There's nothing wrong with having a sex drive, all humans do. Saying that the risk of sex is violence is just fucked up victim blaming.

OP posts:
MrsFluffyMuff · 31/12/2020 08:51

Shelly is a troll and is banned now. She was convincing a domestic violence victim to stay in her abusive relationship on another thread.

Casual sexual violence in dating
queenofknives · 31/12/2020 08:56

Ah, thanks for the info.

OP posts:
20mum · 31/12/2020 15:10

@Yogatomorrow

20mum You have very clear and enlightening points of view. Thanks for posting.
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you
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