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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

686 replies

KristinaJup · 12/12/2020 18:46

Candace Owens recently tweeted (in response to Harry Styles wearing a dress on a magazine cover) "Bring Back Manly Men".. amongst other things.

Who really cares if a guy wears tutus and glittery dresses? Prince was hot af in his heels and Makeup.

Imo I would have no problem with it at all if my son wanted to put on a skirt but the tweet gained a lot of traction and I saw quite a few memes and lots of fingers pointed at feminism for "ruining men"

If we carry on this way the next thing will be....women should not be wearing trousers! What do you think?

OP posts:
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15
gettingfedupagain · 12/12/2020 22:45

My son has a dress, he wanted one, I bought if for him.

ZenNudist · 12/12/2020 22:49

I'd be ok with it. But draw the line at a hot pink spandex number. More like the harry styles look or the 90s grunge dress and big boots c.f. Kurt Cobain. Some people can pull this shit off.

madcatladyforever · 12/12/2020 22:50

I grew up in the 80's when men wore frilly shirts and makeup so I don't think I'd be that bothered.

AGnu · 12/12/2020 22:53

I don't like dresses at all & have only ever bought 1 for my DD when she was a baby & we had to go to a v hot summer wedding. I avoid buying dresses for any of my DC!

My DS's favourite colour has been pink since he was old enough to express an opinion. I suspect partly because he knows I don't like pink & he likes to tease me. I genuinely don't care & have bought him pink clothes from the "girls'" section. Mostly PJs though because I'm v conscious that he has ASD & can be quite vulnerable & I don't want to make him an easy target for bullies. He can wear what he wants in the house though. He's probably owned more pink things than DD!

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 22:53

Does being good at maths break a societal accepted basic 'norm'?

No it doesn't.

midgebabe · 12/12/2020 22:56

It may not now, but it certainly did when I was a child

Although even today look at how few girls do physics ( in England anyway) that's clearly social . You get many more Scottish girls doing physics

Or do your believe that a woman's brain just isn't made that way? It social or nature.not sure there is another option really

5zeds · 12/12/2020 22:57

I’m laughing at the absolute belief that ALL men who wear thobe, dish dasha, shalwar, sarong are Muslim (here in the UK obviously) Grin as though it was some religious symbol. The rational??? I’ve seen them at mosque so must be true! GrinGrinGrin. Is non-western dress just shorthand for Muslim???

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 12/12/2020 22:58

@Griefmonster

PPs who say they would worry for their children - the question is would you allow...Not would you make your son wear a dress... Genuinely surprised at the amount of control you have over what your over 3 year olds wear.
Really? You never have to insist your children (if you have any) wear school uniform, or appropriate clothes for a wedding, party, activity that requires a certain type of clothing?

My boys would go everywhere in joggers, goodies and worn out trainers if I let them. They certainly wouldn't wear their school uniform.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 22:59

@midgebabe

I mean, my parents could have told me not to do my maths homework, just to focus on English like a good girl. Because it would have reduced bullying,. But it would have been wrong, it would have stopped me being me, it would be giving in to bad people who live in a stereotype world
When was this? I was and am as girly as you'd get. I was in the top group throughout Secondary school for maths (and English) and had extra tuition for Higher Maths because that was the stage I started to struggle with the subject. No- one, absolutely no- one, ever suggested I shouldn't persevere with Maths. Certainly neither me or any of the girls in the top set were discouraged or bullied for doing Maths. This was early to mid 70s.
DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 12/12/2020 23:03

*Most of these responses are really depressing. Everyone who thinks their son would get bullied, have you discussed with him that people should be able to wear what they like without ridicule or judgement? Ask him what would happen if his mate turned up in a dress & what he &!others would say?

Be part of the change if you acknowledge that society is the problem*

I can try my best to make sure my own kids aren't bullies and accept others however they dress etc etc. There is fuck all I can do about other peoples shitty attitudes though.

IAmADNAMA · 12/12/2020 23:04

My son can wear whatever makes him happy.
Of course he has to wear school uniform but doesn't have to be a boys uniform.

I just want him to feel happy and accepted. He will never be judged by me. This world is a crazy place and I like to think he could come to me about anything and I'd be his safe space.

Honestly, he will be whoever he wants to be and my love for him wouldn't change.

DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 12/12/2020 23:04

Agree, in my school there were way more girls in top set science and maths than boys. Sat my GCSEs in school year 1999/2000.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 23:05

@Savourysenorita

I must admit.... He looks quite cool Grin
He does- unless of course he's doing it for kicks- but no doubt the FWR mind readers will be along soon to tell us if he's an acceptable bloke in a dress or one of the dodgy ones, like the one in pencil skirts who was discussed a few weeks ago.
DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 23:13

@Blubellsarebells

IN THE UK boys in Scotland wear kilts. Scotland is still in the UK. Much to many people's disappointment I know.
Fgs- the whole point is a kilt is a recognised cultural exception. How many times does that have to be said ? Constantly pointing out "but men in Scotland wear kilts" adds nothing to the debate.

It's not even a valid comparison. Kilts are a male garment appropriated by (a) female Highland dancers (b) tweedy women in the WRI and (c) girls at private schools.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 23:16

@ReeseWitherfork

Have we talked about the fact that a boy/man wearing a dress doesn't make him transgender? There seem to be some posts which assume that would be the case but I might be reading between the lines incorrectly.
Nobody has suggested that.
MedusasBadHairDay · 12/12/2020 23:25

Totally happy with my DS wearing dresses if he wants to, just have to hope he doesn't run into any of the pillocks on this thread who think it's not ok Hmm

I'll admit a little nervousness that he might get picked on, but also know he's got a couple of ex-goths for parents, and I certainly haven't dialed things down since having him. So would hope he's learnt that people are allowed to dress "differently" and it's not their fault if other people have a problem with it

TheGreatSloth · 12/12/2020 23:27

I thought Harry Styles looked awful. The colour was completely wrong for him - it made his skin look grey. The dress was unstructured in a bad way - it wore him rather than vice versa. The material looked cheap & nasty. He needed something to bring our skin and eye and hair colour and to flatter his physique. Instead he just appeared to be draped in a dismal dishcloth. Like a Miss Havisham who’d spent the weekend living in the garden during Storm Gareth, eating worms.

This is actually something that pisses me off. So many men seem to think they can just throw on a dress and look great in it, because they’re men and so naturally stunning etc etc. They can’t. They need to think about what suits their skin and hair and shape if they want to look good in a dress (just like they think about these things with shirts & jackets).

But they just seem to think the world will swoon and grovel with admiration even if they fling on something that doesn’t suit them at all. The arrogance is really irritating.

Pyewhacket · 12/12/2020 23:29

His older sisters would rip the shit out of him if he tried.

DidoLamenting · 12/12/2020 23:37

Like a Miss Havisham who’d spent the weekend living in the garden during Storm Gareth, eating worms

Agreed- it was a horrible dress and it didn't fit him. I also agree that the fawning over Harry Styles just because he's wearing a dress is ridiculous. I can't think of any that were attractive or that he looked good in.

I don't know who the bloke in the black dress on this thread is but he looks much better than Harry Styles. There's a thread about Grayson Perry- the black dress Perry is wearing in the picture in the opening post in that looks much better too.

Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 12/12/2020 23:38

My sons can wear dresses if they like. Clothes are clothes. Would maybe worry about bullying for school age kids.

If it was my eldest adult child he really would have to take a lawnmower to his legs thoughGrin

CookieMumsters · 12/12/2020 23:41

wearing dresses its just not right, and imo parents accepting this as normal behaviour or even encouraging it are toxic and its more child abuse, setting them up for a life of bullying.

Best way to avoid bullying - stop the bullies. Not change how someone dresses.

Savourysenorita · 12/12/2020 23:43

@IAmADNAMA

My son can wear whatever makes him happy. Of course he has to wear school uniform but doesn't have to be a boys uniform.

I just want him to feel happy and accepted. He will never be judged by me. This world is a crazy place and I like to think he could come to me about anything and I'd be his safe space.

Honestly, he will be whoever he wants to be and my love for him wouldn't change.

Yes you're right. This world is indeed a crazy place. One where we start telling mothers they're odd because they're not 'totes cool' about their son prancing around in a dress...
kobo · 12/12/2020 23:43

My daughter got the Spider-Man reversible outfit aged three, one side blue and red the other black. She loved saving people. This as the youngest of 3 girls. Now 18 years later she still does ballet taken up aged 10. Her male cousin used to love dresses, again a heterosexual 20 year old let's just key kids be kids.

Savourysenorita · 12/12/2020 23:44

@CookieMumsters

wearing dresses its just not right, and imo parents accepting this as normal behaviour or even encouraging it are toxic and its more child abuse, setting them up for a life of bullying.

Best way to avoid bullying - stop the bullies. Not change how someone dresses.

But that's an adult debate. Not one to use your kid as propaganda in.
Ingridla · 12/12/2020 23:46

@SimonJT

He can wear what he likes as long as it doesn’t need ironing.

GrinGrinGrin