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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Australian GC Feminists silenced on everybump (formerly essential baby.

208 replies

kagado · 11/12/2020 11:37

First time poster, long time lurker. Thanks to mumsnet along with some awesome Australian posters over on the Essential Baby forums in Australia who first spoke up about this and pointed me in the mumsnet direction.

I’m hoping to post this story here that has played out over the last week - we have been silenced within our online community and would like to be able to direct some of our cohort here to be able to read what has happened and continue with the conversation we have been having - I hope this is ok.

The Essential Baby forums were owned by a large media company and in early November an announcement that after 20 years of active discussion on all sorts of topics the forums were being closed. There was much sadness, a flurry of activity to open up a new forum led to everybump. An amazing effort and a real show of solidarity from the community.

In recent times there were quite a few respectful, fiery, and informative threads about trans issues, and the intersection with women’s issues on the old Essential Baby Forums. Once we moved over to the new forum we continued the discussions.

Sadly, the threads were allowed to go on for a certain period of time, then unceremoniously, some of the key posters were barred from posting (you can guess one was me).

Reason for the ban:

“Hello

Please be advised that you have been placed on 24hr PA. This is due to inflammatory posting and/ or challenging Mod decisions on the boards whilst threads are being reviewed.

The Thread in Feminism is so hurtful to so many of our members so we need to ensure its not going to continue to be that way.

We have removed them for review and are taking time to do this now.”

We were sent this pm on the lifting of our ban (note, there was no inflammatory posting, we are pretty careful in our tone and wording as most gc feminists here would be used to doing also there were definitely no abusive messages sent as has been implied)

‘ Dear All

This PM is a first and final warning before banning. A forum announcement has also been made and is copied at the end of this message.

We do not have the resources nor patience to ensure the safety of other members from the discriminatory posts made in the now deleted gender critical feminism threads. Even though that means shutting down ‘feminist’ discussion. Hiding discrimination under the guise of a feminist issue does not make discrimination legitimate, any more than ‘debates about racial issues’ in the 1950’s made racial discrimination legitimate.

Post approval is now removed from your account. There will not be a further ‘post approval’ step or any warning before banning if you make similar discriminatory posts in the future. Or personal attacks against Mods or Admins.

The false allegations posted about the content of PMs on 9EB mean that we are also pre-emptively informing you we won’t hesitate to publish our PMs, and your responses (if any), alongside any relevant posts that may misrepresent the content of this message. On this issue, do not have any expectation of privacy in PM communications.

A forum announcement has been made. As stated, this is not a unilateral response but a joint one from the entire EB volunteer team.”

Then an announcement was posted to all the forum members:

“A message to all of our members.

Some of you will not like it. Some of you will think it is over the top, because you have only seen parts of the issues. Actually, it is more like a forceful lecture than a message. It’s not a rant because I mean every word.

Sorry about that if you had nothing to do with it.

The next abusive message sent by someone careless enough to use their own IP address will find that address permanently blocked from the Every Bump forum. From both posting AND reading - i.e. worse than banned.

This is not a unilateral response. The entire team has spent more time than we want to think about consulting to provide a joint response.

Firstly, and very obviously, this forum is NOT Essential Baby. It is not run by a corporation or commercial concern. Every Bump is staffed entirely by volunteers. Who have lives just as busy as yours.

We don’t have the time or resources to drop everything to give an instant co-ordinated response. It would be nice if we could provide constant updates to all members on what is happening - but we can't co-ordinate that at the same time as discussing the primary issue due to resources.

It would be great if the rules had already been finalised and posted - but dealing with these issues only delays that process. In the meanwhile, the old EB Rules stand.

This forum is run by a group of people who have given up their time and money to make this space welcoming. Whilst we want member feedback and suggestions, we expect them to be polite and respectful. Almost all of our members have no difficulty with this.

Abuse of our volunteers is not going to be tolerated no matter how righteous you think your cause is. If you think that is a dictatorship, feel free to go start your own community that welcomes abusive messages.

For members not involved but concerned we are unreasonable or need thicker skins, here are two (of many) actual examples within the last 48 hours of what is ok and what is not ok:

  • “Why am I on post approval and I want it take off by tonight please?” - ok.
  • “The Admins are Cnts and the mods are (#%)” - will not ever be tolerated.

The Admins and Mods have committed to making EveryBump a welcoming, safe and supportive space for all our members. As volunteers, we are not paid enough to tolerate abuse. We won’t.

We believe that all voices should be heard, and that all members should be treated with respect in the posts of other members. We will not sacrifice these principles for advertising revenue, (or even to retain or attract new members), despite accusations.

All voices being heard does NOT mean people have ‘freedom of speech’ or ‘the right’ to post anything they want.

Outright blatant attacks on another member will not be tolerated. Even if that member is a Mod or an Admin, or the attack is in a message sent to a Mod or an Admin. Even if sent via PM or email.

Indirect attack or discrimination against members or groups also will not be tolerated. Even if it is claimed to be part of a feminist discussion. Even if it is posted in a ‘clinical’ fashion - this does not prevent posts from being insensitive, hurtful, denigrating or devaluing others. Even being a vulnerable person yourself does not give you that ‘right’.

Because none of this somehow ‘prevents’ posts from being discriminatory. (Or prevents them from being hate speech - if it is clear posts or a collection of posts are discriminatory, we do not need to decide if they amount to hate speech). We simply will not tolerate posts that are discriminatory, whether sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist, etc. Even if that means shutting down a ‘feminist’ discussion.

Members of our community are hurt by such posts, for themselves or for their loved ones. ‘All voices being heard’ means vulnerable sections of the community should feel safe to read and post.

If you want to have that discussion, find another place to have it. Or, work out how to discuss the topic without making discriminatory (sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist etc.) posts. If you cannot, the reason is probably that either the foundations of your topic, or your reasons for discussing it, boil down to your belief in your right to exclude or discriminate against ‘others’ no matter how harmful the effect on them.

If you cannot work out if your posts are discriminatory, swap words out with 1950's USA racial issues. It will leap off the screen at you.

Now to be really specific and clear:

Repeated insensitive remarks (or attacks) regarding trans people will not be tolerated. Nor purposeful trolling or inflammatory posting.

Moving the Gender Critical Feminism threads off active topics was not an attempt to silence, but an attempt to give a volunteer admin/mod team time to respond after less forceful feedback was ignored. In hindsight, we should have locked the threads immediately pending review and put posters on post approval than merely removing the triggering threads from the active topics list.

Now these threads have been reviewed. The entire Admin / Mod team considers the posts, taken collectively, to be discriminatory, insensitive, hurtful, denigrating and devaluing others

The appallingly abusive and obscene anoymous emails sent to the Admins after threads were removed from active topics (but still accessible via the forums) reinforce my view that any 'theoretical' or clinical discussion was never more than window dressing

Warning has now been given. It is a first and final warning. There will not be another one for those who received it via PM.

We wanted to tell EB discussing Gender Critical Feminism is OK if it can be done without negatively referencing trans people. But, we don’t have the resources required to actively moderate such threads at the level shown to be needed. That approach was attempted before the threads were moved off active topics.

GFC is officially the first topic off limits on this forum, ahead of even current court cases.

There are multiple levels of censorship in almost every publication. I'm also not going to put up with rants about censorship breaching your rights to freedom of speech. It doesn't, you can say anything you like on your street corner, or build your own site, and anyway Australian law doesn’t actually provide you with such rights.

Australian law does say you can’t be discriminatory in contexts such as employment, and that hate speech is not allowed. We won’t allow discriminatory posts here either.

If your desire is ‘uncensored’ ‘rights’ to post anything you want on someone else’s site, reddit or 4chan / 8chan is a better option for you.;

* Post edited by MNHQ *

OP posts:
Maudythebudgie · 12/12/2020 21:42

Hi @GCFeministNC that was me with the nuance comment. I was having a discussion on the old eb with someone who was a trans ally and kind of exploring the edges of our thoughts and what's was ok and what was not. There seems to be lots of people who are quite decided on their opinions here so there's not that kind of discussion here that I've seen (haven't been here that long). I'll be honest... I'm still thinking about the edges of my thoughts in this area. And I swear I'm not a liberal feminist!!

DontpoketheTERFmum · 12/12/2020 22:02

I love lipstick alley! They always have me in stitches. I love how unapologetic they are.

SunsetBeetch · 12/12/2020 22:57

@Maudythebudgie

Hi *@GCFeministNC* that was me with the nuance comment. I was having a discussion on the old eb with someone who was a trans ally and kind of exploring the edges of our thoughts and what's was ok and what was not. There seems to be lots of people who are quite decided on their opinions here so there's not that kind of discussion here that I've seen (haven't been here that long). I'll be honest... I'm still thinking about the edges of my thoughts in this area. And I swear I'm not a liberal feminist!!
Ah see, we're a lot further down that road than you. We've all been there though!
PotholeParadies · 12/12/2020 23:23

Any time someone says gender critical feminism is middle-class white feminism, direct them to this

dgrnewsservice.org/civilization/patriarchy/gender/white-feminism-thing-gender-identity-ideology-epitomizes/

AnnHibbons · 12/12/2020 23:28

great article ^ thanks - i have added it to my favourites.

GlorianaCervixia · 12/12/2020 23:49

That's a powerful article. It's shameful, really, that women in countries as wealthy as Australia pretend that sex-based oppression is such a blight on so many women's lives and they can't opt out of it.

Flickflak · 13/12/2020 00:00

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

PotholeParadies · 13/12/2020 00:09

One of the best tricks that has ever been pulled has been the conflation of gender-criticalness with being middle-class and white.

The most cynical person I ever spoke to about transwomen in RL was an old school friend (from our absolute dump of a school where most didn't leave with 5 GCSEs) who did NOT believe her 45 years + relative was suddenly a woman because he'd put a wig on. This was about 16 years ago.

I (with my middle-class aspirations) thought she was terribly unkind. In retrospect, she was right and I was wrong.

SunsetBeetch · 13/12/2020 09:20

Thought it might be helpful to give some useful links? Other posters (including those from the other side of the debate), please feel free to add!

Mumsnet threads:

Break it down for me?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

It will never happen

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3348290-It-will-never-happen-resource-thread

Youtube channels:

The late, great Magdalen Berns

Karen Davis/ You're kidding right?

Rose of Dawn

King Critical

Graham Linehan

SunsetBeetch · 13/12/2020 09:52

Kelly-Jay Keen aka Posie Parker

Kelly owning renowned misogynist Dr Haddock live on TV - a classic!

External websites:

Women are Human

www.womenarehuman.com/

Fair Play for Women

fairplayforwomen.com/

Woman's Place UK

womansplaceuk.org/

Resisters

resistersunited.org/

The Glinner Update

grahamlinehan.substack.com/

Feminist Current

www.feministcurrent.com/

kagado · 13/12/2020 10:09

Thanks for all of the links. Have seen some of them before but always keen for more. The article that’s been linked here from the SMH has resulted in an apology from the editor after the usual transphobic cries.

OP posts:
PotholeParadies · 13/12/2020 21:12

This was a particularly enlightening Glinner article, if also distressing.

grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/ashton-challenor-the-boy-who-disappeared

NotYourCisterinAus · 14/12/2020 01:09

Hi! Another Australian here--I came to the forum for the feminism, not the parenting advice, so I've never visited Essential Baby. Like many other people on FWR I "educated myself" and went from being vaguely sympathetic ("Oh those poor people!") to being full-on gender critical.

I find myself reading The Australian (!) these days because they're the only paper covering trans issues from a critical perspective. (There was a good article in the opinion section about the Victorian legislation today.) I've been getting all sweary at the ABC every time they have a feel-good trans story on the news. I've become a staunch admirer of Claire Chandler and am feeling politically homeless because I've always considered myself to be left of centre.

And I'm wondering if there is any grassroots activism I can support in Australia--though bearing in mind I'm a public servant I'm going to have to be a bit cautious...

kagado · 14/12/2020 01:59

Ugh that Glinner article! I've read it before - signed up to Glinner updates thanks to Mnet, he's great.

NotYour Cister - great user name. I actually joined EB for the parenting and stayed for the feminism in the end. It's such a shame it's been shut down. I'm with you on being politically homeless, horrified by most of the mainstream media.

We're working on making a space for these discussions for Australian women, could take a while but I'll keep you in the loop.

OP posts:
kagado · 14/12/2020 23:28

Aah so I’ve been permanently banned - background a thread was started on the topic of soup on Friday evening. It was light hearted and in good humour. But it got shut down (yams vs sweet potato and milk vs soy milk may have been discussed) and about 4 posters were put on post approval. Most were lifted today but I received this delightful email:

‘Dear *

To ensure you receive this message, it is sent to you at your * email address.

You are now permanently banned from everybump.

You repeatedly ignored warnings (sent after you were put on post approval twice, for discriminatory posts as well as for trolling).

A copy of each warning is included below as you will no longer be able to access them via the forum.

You made untrue (and thus defamatory) allegations, as well as bad faith attacks against everybump and its admin/mods on other forums (namely mumset).

Your IP address is blocked, your account is frozen and you cannot access it.

Once again, we reserve the right to publish this message, on eb or elsewhere, for any reason.

-The everybump team’

Out of consideration for everyone’s eyes and sanity I didn’t repost the copy and paste of the warnings again.

OP posts:
kagado · 14/12/2020 23:30

I do hope the mods stick around here for a bit - they may learn a few things about:

  1. Moderating - great guidelines linked at the top, I’ve received a polite and explanatory email regarding a term in my first email that isn’t allowed.
  1. Gender critical feminism.
OP posts:
GlorianaCervixia · 14/12/2020 23:32

Posting about soup and making a thread on Mumsnet? You monster.

TheCrowsHaveEyes · 15/12/2020 00:09

It seems to be a pattern that new female-centred forums will be targeted by or infiltrated by TRAs, MRAs and intersectional feminists in the hope of closing them down or at least shutting down feminist discussion. It's almost as though they think discussions only happen online. Hmm
The Australian admin messages seem close to threatening doxing. That's hardly going to instil confidence in their forum.

GlorianaCervixia · 15/12/2020 00:14

I do hope the mods there will do some reflecting on how the inflammatory, overemotional way they have responded to posters who were invited to discuss gender critical feminism on their forums. If they were unprepared for it to be a divisive subject then that's on them. They volunteered for it, no one forced them.

kagado · 15/12/2020 02:53

@TheCrowsHaveEyes

It seems to be a pattern that new female-centred forums will be targeted by or infiltrated by TRAs, MRAs and intersectional feminists in the hope of closing them down or at least shutting down feminist discussion. It's almost as though they think discussions only happen online. Hmm The Australian admin messages seem close to threatening doxing. That's hardly going to instil confidence in their forum.
Yep - it’s quite frightening the lack of ability to discuss this. Confident they can’t claim defamation when the only thing I’ve posted about them is direct quotes from themselves 😂. Oh and that they are handmaidens. Maybe that hurt some feelings which it seems is a capital crime these days. Unless it’s a gc feminist whose feelings are hurt - we don’t count!
OP posts:
marpelier · 15/12/2020 05:50

OMG. It worked .I'm here. Hi fellow Aussies , hi you lucky UK people with your lovely weather ( not being sarcastic - I hate the heat) It's raining today and I am super happy.
Now that everybody mentions it why did MMjump in and start the site.
Also, is there a like button? ( soz am noob as my child would say)

Alethiometrical · 15/12/2020 11:20

You made untrue (and thus defamatory) allegations, as well as bad faith attacks against everybump and its admin/mods on other forums (namely mumset)

@kagado That is quite scary - that the mods on this other site are monitoring MN.

I help to moderate a large-ish web messageboard forum (about 10,000 active members, so not as big as MN!) and we operate a strict "What's written here, stays here." We ask people not to comment on our messageboard elsewhere, but by the same token, we don't discuss what people write elsewhere on our own messageboard.

Kit19 · 15/12/2020 11:40

waves to everybump eyeballs in the sky

isnt it great how so many pregnancy and motherhood websites seem so keen to sideline women

you'd think places focused on an experience literally rooted in female biology would be the last bastions standing but no!

PurpleHoodie · 15/12/2020 14:19

Kit Look at you polite waving.

PurpleHoodie · 15/12/2020 14:20

you'd think places focused on an experience literally rooted in female biology would be the last bastions standing but no!

Very good point.