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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Australian GC Feminists silenced on everybump (formerly essential baby.

208 replies

kagado · 11/12/2020 11:37

First time poster, long time lurker. Thanks to mumsnet along with some awesome Australian posters over on the Essential Baby forums in Australia who first spoke up about this and pointed me in the mumsnet direction.

I’m hoping to post this story here that has played out over the last week - we have been silenced within our online community and would like to be able to direct some of our cohort here to be able to read what has happened and continue with the conversation we have been having - I hope this is ok.

The Essential Baby forums were owned by a large media company and in early November an announcement that after 20 years of active discussion on all sorts of topics the forums were being closed. There was much sadness, a flurry of activity to open up a new forum led to everybump. An amazing effort and a real show of solidarity from the community.

In recent times there were quite a few respectful, fiery, and informative threads about trans issues, and the intersection with women’s issues on the old Essential Baby Forums. Once we moved over to the new forum we continued the discussions.

Sadly, the threads were allowed to go on for a certain period of time, then unceremoniously, some of the key posters were barred from posting (you can guess one was me).

Reason for the ban:

“Hello

Please be advised that you have been placed on 24hr PA. This is due to inflammatory posting and/ or challenging Mod decisions on the boards whilst threads are being reviewed.

The Thread in Feminism is so hurtful to so many of our members so we need to ensure its not going to continue to be that way.

We have removed them for review and are taking time to do this now.”

We were sent this pm on the lifting of our ban (note, there was no inflammatory posting, we are pretty careful in our tone and wording as most gc feminists here would be used to doing also there were definitely no abusive messages sent as has been implied)

‘ Dear All

This PM is a first and final warning before banning. A forum announcement has also been made and is copied at the end of this message.

We do not have the resources nor patience to ensure the safety of other members from the discriminatory posts made in the now deleted gender critical feminism threads. Even though that means shutting down ‘feminist’ discussion. Hiding discrimination under the guise of a feminist issue does not make discrimination legitimate, any more than ‘debates about racial issues’ in the 1950’s made racial discrimination legitimate.

Post approval is now removed from your account. There will not be a further ‘post approval’ step or any warning before banning if you make similar discriminatory posts in the future. Or personal attacks against Mods or Admins.

The false allegations posted about the content of PMs on 9EB mean that we are also pre-emptively informing you we won’t hesitate to publish our PMs, and your responses (if any), alongside any relevant posts that may misrepresent the content of this message. On this issue, do not have any expectation of privacy in PM communications.

A forum announcement has been made. As stated, this is not a unilateral response but a joint one from the entire EB volunteer team.”

Then an announcement was posted to all the forum members:

“A message to all of our members.

Some of you will not like it. Some of you will think it is over the top, because you have only seen parts of the issues. Actually, it is more like a forceful lecture than a message. It’s not a rant because I mean every word.

Sorry about that if you had nothing to do with it.

The next abusive message sent by someone careless enough to use their own IP address will find that address permanently blocked from the Every Bump forum. From both posting AND reading - i.e. worse than banned.

This is not a unilateral response. The entire team has spent more time than we want to think about consulting to provide a joint response.

Firstly, and very obviously, this forum is NOT Essential Baby. It is not run by a corporation or commercial concern. Every Bump is staffed entirely by volunteers. Who have lives just as busy as yours.

We don’t have the time or resources to drop everything to give an instant co-ordinated response. It would be nice if we could provide constant updates to all members on what is happening - but we can't co-ordinate that at the same time as discussing the primary issue due to resources.

It would be great if the rules had already been finalised and posted - but dealing with these issues only delays that process. In the meanwhile, the old EB Rules stand.

This forum is run by a group of people who have given up their time and money to make this space welcoming. Whilst we want member feedback and suggestions, we expect them to be polite and respectful. Almost all of our members have no difficulty with this.

Abuse of our volunteers is not going to be tolerated no matter how righteous you think your cause is. If you think that is a dictatorship, feel free to go start your own community that welcomes abusive messages.

For members not involved but concerned we are unreasonable or need thicker skins, here are two (of many) actual examples within the last 48 hours of what is ok and what is not ok:

  • “Why am I on post approval and I want it take off by tonight please?” - ok.
  • “The Admins are Cnts and the mods are (#%)” - will not ever be tolerated.

The Admins and Mods have committed to making EveryBump a welcoming, safe and supportive space for all our members. As volunteers, we are not paid enough to tolerate abuse. We won’t.

We believe that all voices should be heard, and that all members should be treated with respect in the posts of other members. We will not sacrifice these principles for advertising revenue, (or even to retain or attract new members), despite accusations.

All voices being heard does NOT mean people have ‘freedom of speech’ or ‘the right’ to post anything they want.

Outright blatant attacks on another member will not be tolerated. Even if that member is a Mod or an Admin, or the attack is in a message sent to a Mod or an Admin. Even if sent via PM or email.

Indirect attack or discrimination against members or groups also will not be tolerated. Even if it is claimed to be part of a feminist discussion. Even if it is posted in a ‘clinical’ fashion - this does not prevent posts from being insensitive, hurtful, denigrating or devaluing others. Even being a vulnerable person yourself does not give you that ‘right’.

Because none of this somehow ‘prevents’ posts from being discriminatory. (Or prevents them from being hate speech - if it is clear posts or a collection of posts are discriminatory, we do not need to decide if they amount to hate speech). We simply will not tolerate posts that are discriminatory, whether sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist, etc. Even if that means shutting down a ‘feminist’ discussion.

Members of our community are hurt by such posts, for themselves or for their loved ones. ‘All voices being heard’ means vulnerable sections of the community should feel safe to read and post.

If you want to have that discussion, find another place to have it. Or, work out how to discuss the topic without making discriminatory (sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist etc.) posts. If you cannot, the reason is probably that either the foundations of your topic, or your reasons for discussing it, boil down to your belief in your right to exclude or discriminate against ‘others’ no matter how harmful the effect on them.

If you cannot work out if your posts are discriminatory, swap words out with 1950's USA racial issues. It will leap off the screen at you.

Now to be really specific and clear:

Repeated insensitive remarks (or attacks) regarding trans people will not be tolerated. Nor purposeful trolling or inflammatory posting.

Moving the Gender Critical Feminism threads off active topics was not an attempt to silence, but an attempt to give a volunteer admin/mod team time to respond after less forceful feedback was ignored. In hindsight, we should have locked the threads immediately pending review and put posters on post approval than merely removing the triggering threads from the active topics list.

Now these threads have been reviewed. The entire Admin / Mod team considers the posts, taken collectively, to be discriminatory, insensitive, hurtful, denigrating and devaluing others

The appallingly abusive and obscene anoymous emails sent to the Admins after threads were removed from active topics (but still accessible via the forums) reinforce my view that any 'theoretical' or clinical discussion was never more than window dressing

Warning has now been given. It is a first and final warning. There will not be another one for those who received it via PM.

We wanted to tell EB discussing Gender Critical Feminism is OK if it can be done without negatively referencing trans people. But, we don’t have the resources required to actively moderate such threads at the level shown to be needed. That approach was attempted before the threads were moved off active topics.

GFC is officially the first topic off limits on this forum, ahead of even current court cases.

There are multiple levels of censorship in almost every publication. I'm also not going to put up with rants about censorship breaching your rights to freedom of speech. It doesn't, you can say anything you like on your street corner, or build your own site, and anyway Australian law doesn’t actually provide you with such rights.

Australian law does say you can’t be discriminatory in contexts such as employment, and that hate speech is not allowed. We won’t allow discriminatory posts here either.

If your desire is ‘uncensored’ ‘rights’ to post anything you want on someone else’s site, reddit or 4chan / 8chan is a better option for you.;

* Post edited by MNHQ *

OP posts:
Throughabushbackwards · 02/03/2021 11:16

Hello Aussie friends - Aussie here living in the U.K. for the past 10+ years.

I can't believe I just sat through a Peta Credlin interview and agreed with every word but there you have it. Dr Holly Lawford-Smith is an absolute CHAMP.

Throughabushbackwards · 02/03/2021 11:18

Side note - made me v homesick listening to the word DATA spoken properly (daaada rather than dayta) Grin

GlorianaCervixia · 02/03/2021 21:04

It was started because there has been an allegation that a senior government minister raped a 16 year old girl several decades ago. The woman who says she was raped was in contact with the police last year but sadly took her. own life. Apparently there are contemporaneous diaries and letters to support her allegation but it now looks like it will be swept under the carpet.ll

The group and march were organised in response to this but of course they've now become a mess of kicking out radical feminists and men yelling about inclusion.

SanFranBear · 02/03/2021 21:38

Mumsnet is great. You can have 95% of posters against you, but there will always be some random contrarian who has your back

Why I love MN - that, and this board of course Grin

wandawaves · 04/03/2021 07:09

Hi eb orphans! Tbh I'm not here to debate the banned topics, I'm just here because eb is so boring and so overmoderated, and I'm sick of the fake fluffy threads and the fake article discussions posted by the mods.

FeralWoman · 04/03/2021 08:09

Hi wandawaves! There have been an awful lot of those stupid threads started by mods hasn't there? Every time one is posted I roll my eyes and wonder what has been linked. They feel like school assignments or something like too much work instead of casual, flowing conversation between people who want to chat and interact.

Even the wishing well thread isn't getting the traffic like a wishing well thread normally would. Maybe everyone abandoned there after this forum was mentioned last week.

wandawaves · 04/03/2021 08:26

Yes it's all very manufactured. And when I'm posting I feel like we're all being watched for banned words, banned topics, and different opinions, ready to be pounced on by the mods, like in some kind of dystopian novel.

BlackWaveComing · 04/03/2021 08:32

@GlorianaCervixia

It was started because there has been an allegation that a senior government minister raped a 16 year old girl several decades ago. The woman who says she was raped was in contact with the police last year but sadly took her. own life. Apparently there are contemporaneous diaries and letters to support her allegation but it now looks like it will be swept under the carpet.ll

The group and march were organised in response to this but of course they've now become a mess of kicking out radical feminists and men yelling about inclusion.

Yep, I left the group b/c some men and women just can't refrain from calling t*rf and swerf for 5 freaking minutes.

So a male is leading the Sydney March, apparently. That's me out. I'll make my voice heard elsewhere - or else turn up with a sign with Justice for Women on one side, and Adult Human Female on the other...haven't quite decided. I know there'll be a rad fem contingent, but it won't be large.

Watch this march be reported on as a march against violence towards all genders.

Meanwhile, a woman was allegedly raped by the AG. Meanwhile, a woman was raped in Parliamentary Offices. Meanwhile, that same woman has been called a lying cow by a Minister.

FeralWoman · 04/03/2021 08:36

wandawaves: Nailed it. That's exactly what it feels like to me too. I miss old EB and the duck. I really miss the old mods. At least they left us alone for the most part to talk and argue and generally moderation was balanced. They didn't just randomly use the ban hammer.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 07/03/2021 03:01

Gah, im an idiot, waded into a trans thread on EB
I should know better

Now its supposedly transphobic to say you would only date someone who born male or female

ZombieMumEB · 07/03/2021 03:37

@Ineedcoffee2021 unfortunately that claim has been out there for some time.

Thread has now been locked, resident troll has claimed bullying to shut it down. It's not bullying when the same people post in threads of the same topic.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 07/03/2021 04:19

@ZombieMumEB I wish that shocked me, I think what's shocked me more is Its being claimed on EB. live

Bullying my ass, discussion yes
I did notice on the thanks counts, more and more coming up for the GC side

GlorianaCervixia · 07/03/2021 04:43

The last thread was locked because the same person said they were going to self-harm. Then they popped back up the next day as if nothing had happened. So manipulative.

I'm noticing the increased number of likes as well.

ZombieMumEB · 07/03/2021 04:54

It's definitely manipulation and not posting in good faith.

I didn't see her post the self harm one. Doesn't surprise me, just another way to silence anyone who doesn't agree with her. I hope admin reported that threat to the police for a welfare check.

Making false claims about being bullied is also a form of manipulation to shut down conversation, and is such a low act.

On the old eb she once accused me of following her around the board, as a way to silence me. I posted in 2 threads that day, that she'd also posted in. I'd also posted in lots of other threads, and quoted other users. It's a discussion forum ffs!

EHopes · 07/03/2021 09:03

I'm another Australian. Have been here some years. I was never active on EB beyond when a close friend was ill a number of years ago. Here always felt more 'real'.

beautifulmonument · 11/03/2021 21:28
beautifulmonument · 11/03/2021 22:23

@NotYourCisterinAus

Hi! Another Australian here--I came to the forum for the feminism, not the parenting advice, so I've never visited Essential Baby. Like many other people on FWR I "educated myself" and went from being vaguely sympathetic ("Oh those poor people!") to being full-on gender critical.

I find myself reading The Australian (!) these days because they're the only paper covering trans issues from a critical perspective. (There was a good article in the opinion section about the Victorian legislation today.) I've been getting all sweary at the ABC every time they have a feel-good trans story on the news. I've become a staunch admirer of Claire Chandler and am feeling politically homeless because I've always considered myself to be left of centre.

And I'm wondering if there is any grassroots activism I can support in Australia--though bearing in mind I'm a public servant I'm going to have to be a bit cautious...

There is loads of grassroots activism happening! Where are you located? Start of by sending a message to your local GC Facebook groups. They're all run by activist women.
GlorianaCervixia · 28/03/2021 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Maudythebudgie · 28/03/2021 23:46

Phew! After locking down the bloody Scotland thread for no particular reason yesterday... think that's the nail in the coffin for me. Thanks for the link! (Love mumsnet... but do miss the intimacy of an Aussie forum.)

Murderino1 · 29/03/2021 05:48

A new forum that doesn’t ban discussion about changing the meaning of woman sounds good.

GNCQ · 29/03/2021 08:18

I'm paranoid now, that TRA will send abusive messages to the mods here pretending to be a feminist!

They've probably already tried, Justine must have balls of steel!

GNCQ · 29/03/2021 08:19

Motherboard haha good name

ZombieMumEB · 29/03/2021 11:28

@Maudythebudgie

Phew! After locking down the bloody Scotland thread for no particular reason yesterday... think that's the nail in the coffin for me. Thanks for the link! (Love mumsnet... but do miss the intimacy of an Aussie forum.)
I think that's the final nail in the coffin for a lot of old eb members.

I don't know what rules it broke.

Helleofabore · 29/03/2021 12:25

@Throughabushbackwards

Hello Aussie friends - Aussie here living in the U.K. for the past 10+ years.

I can't believe I just sat through a Peta Credlin interview and agreed with every word but there you have it. Dr Holly Lawford-Smith is an absolute CHAMP.

I know, right? I have that same feeling when I nod along with Peta Credlin.
kagado · 31/03/2021 13:14

motherboard-forum.com is looking promising - off to a start - welcome aboard any Aussie or even non-aussies.

OP posts: