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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Australian GC Feminists silenced on everybump (formerly essential baby.

208 replies

kagado · 11/12/2020 11:37

First time poster, long time lurker. Thanks to mumsnet along with some awesome Australian posters over on the Essential Baby forums in Australia who first spoke up about this and pointed me in the mumsnet direction.

I’m hoping to post this story here that has played out over the last week - we have been silenced within our online community and would like to be able to direct some of our cohort here to be able to read what has happened and continue with the conversation we have been having - I hope this is ok.

The Essential Baby forums were owned by a large media company and in early November an announcement that after 20 years of active discussion on all sorts of topics the forums were being closed. There was much sadness, a flurry of activity to open up a new forum led to everybump. An amazing effort and a real show of solidarity from the community.

In recent times there were quite a few respectful, fiery, and informative threads about trans issues, and the intersection with women’s issues on the old Essential Baby Forums. Once we moved over to the new forum we continued the discussions.

Sadly, the threads were allowed to go on for a certain period of time, then unceremoniously, some of the key posters were barred from posting (you can guess one was me).

Reason for the ban:

“Hello

Please be advised that you have been placed on 24hr PA. This is due to inflammatory posting and/ or challenging Mod decisions on the boards whilst threads are being reviewed.

The Thread in Feminism is so hurtful to so many of our members so we need to ensure its not going to continue to be that way.

We have removed them for review and are taking time to do this now.”

We were sent this pm on the lifting of our ban (note, there was no inflammatory posting, we are pretty careful in our tone and wording as most gc feminists here would be used to doing also there were definitely no abusive messages sent as has been implied)

‘ Dear All

This PM is a first and final warning before banning. A forum announcement has also been made and is copied at the end of this message.

We do not have the resources nor patience to ensure the safety of other members from the discriminatory posts made in the now deleted gender critical feminism threads. Even though that means shutting down ‘feminist’ discussion. Hiding discrimination under the guise of a feminist issue does not make discrimination legitimate, any more than ‘debates about racial issues’ in the 1950’s made racial discrimination legitimate.

Post approval is now removed from your account. There will not be a further ‘post approval’ step or any warning before banning if you make similar discriminatory posts in the future. Or personal attacks against Mods or Admins.

The false allegations posted about the content of PMs on 9EB mean that we are also pre-emptively informing you we won’t hesitate to publish our PMs, and your responses (if any), alongside any relevant posts that may misrepresent the content of this message. On this issue, do not have any expectation of privacy in PM communications.

A forum announcement has been made. As stated, this is not a unilateral response but a joint one from the entire EB volunteer team.”

Then an announcement was posted to all the forum members:

“A message to all of our members.

Some of you will not like it. Some of you will think it is over the top, because you have only seen parts of the issues. Actually, it is more like a forceful lecture than a message. It’s not a rant because I mean every word.

Sorry about that if you had nothing to do with it.

The next abusive message sent by someone careless enough to use their own IP address will find that address permanently blocked from the Every Bump forum. From both posting AND reading - i.e. worse than banned.

This is not a unilateral response. The entire team has spent more time than we want to think about consulting to provide a joint response.

Firstly, and very obviously, this forum is NOT Essential Baby. It is not run by a corporation or commercial concern. Every Bump is staffed entirely by volunteers. Who have lives just as busy as yours.

We don’t have the time or resources to drop everything to give an instant co-ordinated response. It would be nice if we could provide constant updates to all members on what is happening - but we can't co-ordinate that at the same time as discussing the primary issue due to resources.

It would be great if the rules had already been finalised and posted - but dealing with these issues only delays that process. In the meanwhile, the old EB Rules stand.

This forum is run by a group of people who have given up their time and money to make this space welcoming. Whilst we want member feedback and suggestions, we expect them to be polite and respectful. Almost all of our members have no difficulty with this.

Abuse of our volunteers is not going to be tolerated no matter how righteous you think your cause is. If you think that is a dictatorship, feel free to go start your own community that welcomes abusive messages.

For members not involved but concerned we are unreasonable or need thicker skins, here are two (of many) actual examples within the last 48 hours of what is ok and what is not ok:

  • “Why am I on post approval and I want it take off by tonight please?” - ok.
  • “The Admins are Cnts and the mods are (#%)” - will not ever be tolerated.

The Admins and Mods have committed to making EveryBump a welcoming, safe and supportive space for all our members. As volunteers, we are not paid enough to tolerate abuse. We won’t.

We believe that all voices should be heard, and that all members should be treated with respect in the posts of other members. We will not sacrifice these principles for advertising revenue, (or even to retain or attract new members), despite accusations.

All voices being heard does NOT mean people have ‘freedom of speech’ or ‘the right’ to post anything they want.

Outright blatant attacks on another member will not be tolerated. Even if that member is a Mod or an Admin, or the attack is in a message sent to a Mod or an Admin. Even if sent via PM or email.

Indirect attack or discrimination against members or groups also will not be tolerated. Even if it is claimed to be part of a feminist discussion. Even if it is posted in a ‘clinical’ fashion - this does not prevent posts from being insensitive, hurtful, denigrating or devaluing others. Even being a vulnerable person yourself does not give you that ‘right’.

Because none of this somehow ‘prevents’ posts from being discriminatory. (Or prevents them from being hate speech - if it is clear posts or a collection of posts are discriminatory, we do not need to decide if they amount to hate speech). We simply will not tolerate posts that are discriminatory, whether sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist, etc. Even if that means shutting down a ‘feminist’ discussion.

Members of our community are hurt by such posts, for themselves or for their loved ones. ‘All voices being heard’ means vulnerable sections of the community should feel safe to read and post.

If you want to have that discussion, find another place to have it. Or, work out how to discuss the topic without making discriminatory (sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, misogynistic, misandrist etc.) posts. If you cannot, the reason is probably that either the foundations of your topic, or your reasons for discussing it, boil down to your belief in your right to exclude or discriminate against ‘others’ no matter how harmful the effect on them.

If you cannot work out if your posts are discriminatory, swap words out with 1950's USA racial issues. It will leap off the screen at you.

Now to be really specific and clear:

Repeated insensitive remarks (or attacks) regarding trans people will not be tolerated. Nor purposeful trolling or inflammatory posting.

Moving the Gender Critical Feminism threads off active topics was not an attempt to silence, but an attempt to give a volunteer admin/mod team time to respond after less forceful feedback was ignored. In hindsight, we should have locked the threads immediately pending review and put posters on post approval than merely removing the triggering threads from the active topics list.

Now these threads have been reviewed. The entire Admin / Mod team considers the posts, taken collectively, to be discriminatory, insensitive, hurtful, denigrating and devaluing others

The appallingly abusive and obscene anoymous emails sent to the Admins after threads were removed from active topics (but still accessible via the forums) reinforce my view that any 'theoretical' or clinical discussion was never more than window dressing

Warning has now been given. It is a first and final warning. There will not be another one for those who received it via PM.

We wanted to tell EB discussing Gender Critical Feminism is OK if it can be done without negatively referencing trans people. But, we don’t have the resources required to actively moderate such threads at the level shown to be needed. That approach was attempted before the threads were moved off active topics.

GFC is officially the first topic off limits on this forum, ahead of even current court cases.

There are multiple levels of censorship in almost every publication. I'm also not going to put up with rants about censorship breaching your rights to freedom of speech. It doesn't, you can say anything you like on your street corner, or build your own site, and anyway Australian law doesn’t actually provide you with such rights.

Australian law does say you can’t be discriminatory in contexts such as employment, and that hate speech is not allowed. We won’t allow discriminatory posts here either.

If your desire is ‘uncensored’ ‘rights’ to post anything you want on someone else’s site, reddit or 4chan / 8chan is a better option for you.;

* Post edited by MNHQ *

OP posts:
NChat · 11/12/2020 15:51

SophocIestheFox
"Not in the spirit"?
No more information needed Xmas Wink

Welcome aussies! GinCake

DontpoketheTERFmum · 11/12/2020 18:24

The new announcement gave me a headache. Just get to the point already.
There ready is nothing left for the members of that forum to talk about- once they banned GCF as a topic threads started popping up like, “Who’s your animal nemesis?” and a thread where they basically just say what they’re having for dinner Hmm
I’m going to enjoy watching it fizzle to nothing Wine

PlantMam · 11/12/2020 19:09

Hi!

Well done on not getting dragged down the purity spiral plughole!

Kaliorphic · 11/12/2020 19:45

Welcome ♥️

GlorianaCervixia · 11/12/2020 19:51

It’s really shocking to be part of an online community for years with no problems at all and then be accused of being a hateful bigot akin to a 1950s American racist who should go to 4chan. For discussing women’s rights!

If nothing else, these situations are good real-world reminders to people watching on that women are being silenced in all kinds of ways - big & small - and that it’s not something that just happens in other countries and we’ll be exempt from. It’s real.

Defaultname · 11/12/2020 19:57

Well, those screeds were educational, but not in the way the writer intended. Is he/she/him/her/it/they working on a PhD.?

Funniest line was

"There is a difference between hurt feelings, and denying or invalidating someone else's identity or reality. A difference between being rude, and gas lighting."
If I tell someone he really isn't Napoleon or Messiah II, I'll obviously be (a) hurting his feelings, (b) invalidating his identity, and (c) right.

GlorianaCervixia · 11/12/2020 20:05

There’s a lot of DARVO there, isn’t there? Discussion becomes gaslighting, speaking becomes hurting.

The idea that trans people and their allies are tremulous flowers who must be protected from disagreement is (a) insulting to trans people and (b) detached from reality. It’s a very useful tool of trans ideology that’s based in sexism because it uses the idea that women should be nurturing and accepting even at our own expense to undermine our rights.

Defaultname · 11/12/2020 20:25

@GlorianaCervixia

There’s a lot of DARVO there, isn’t there? Discussion becomes gaslighting, speaking becomes hurting.

The idea that trans people and their allies are tremulous flowers who must be protected from disagreement is (a) insulting to trans people and (b) detached from reality. It’s a very useful tool of trans ideology that’s based in sexism because it uses the idea that women should be nurturing and accepting even at our own expense to undermine our rights.

On the second point, it seems to me that gender-rational women are seen as brash modern hussies, but with , the people whose feelings have to be protected, it's as though they were all born in 1812, and are spending a year at school in France, to be 'finished' before they're presented at Court.

Fascinating stuff. Maybe the crinoline will make a comeback! Certainly it's making a lot of men behave like gallants (Barbara Cartland, anyone?), but they don't seem to believe that 'fallen women' (that is, actually women) should be treated with the same kid gloves.

BlackWaveComing · 11/12/2020 20:39

There's a reason some of us Aussies are already here. Many rules to follow, but it's one of the only accessible venues for online discussion.

Spinster, Ovarit, GCsaidit, and then a few very niche forums, and private FB groups are the only other women-friendly venues available to us (LSA if you are a black woman).

AU is in a bad spot - we don't have the first amendment protections of the US, and we don't have resistance coming from trade union and other left wing women as in the UK.

It's Sky News, The Australian, rw politicians and a handful of female academics speaking up....very easy for Greens/Labor/socially prog Lib voters to dismiss.

UK feminists have been absolutely amazing; it's frustrating that we can't seem to mount an effective campaign for women's rights in AU. Part of it is not wanting to be Murdoch-aligned, part of it is our blasphemy law against causing offence. There is a grass roots movement, but it's just not taking off as it did in the UK.

SadlyMissTaken · 11/12/2020 20:45

After watching Stock, Freeman and Sullivan at committee this week I'm intensely proud to be British. Speaking truth to power without fear or favour

BlackWaveComing · 11/12/2020 21:05

@SadlyMissTaken

After watching Stock, Freeman and Sullivan at committee this week I'm intensely proud to be British. Speaking truth to power without fear or favour
So you should be. British feminists have been incredible, under extreme pressure.
GlorianaCervixia · 11/12/2020 21:13

British feminists have been absolute warriors. I’m sad that we’re so far behind in Australia.

LongPauseNoAnswer · 11/12/2020 21:24

Welcome to all of the Aussie Feminists. I dIscovered the GC thinking thanks to Mumsnet and I’ve only found respectful and well through tour opinions and arguments here. Nothing like the wokedom have made us out to be.

LongPauseNoAnswer · 11/12/2020 21:25

Oh and we’re not all British here. I’m from Ireland living in Switzerland Grin

ALittleBitofVitriol · 11/12/2020 21:29

Haha am I reading it right that a male moderator got upset after being pointedly told off for silencing women, so the repeated accusations of 'misandry' in that word vomit post were for his benefit?

Welcome to mumsnet. There's a few of us Aussies here. I left EB a while ago but did pop back to read the GC threads and add my likes. I cannot believe the accusations in that letter, (almost) every post I read on this topic on EB was painfully polite and studded with gentle caveats.

We are a real mess here in Aus.

Hmmmph · 11/12/2020 21:34

Hi, another one here. Joined a few days ago, but hadn't posted yet...

PlantMam · 11/12/2020 21:43

it uses the idea that women should be nurturing and accepting even at our own expense to undermine our rights.

I think this is the key reason as to why they find Mumsnet so infuriating. We’re (mostly) mummies and mummies are societally obligated to be nice.

That we reserve our nurturing for our own offspring (and next in line is the minor offspring of others, followed by our parents, partners and pets) rather than extend it to them seems to kick off some kind of rage response.

Hence being referred to in certain quarters as ‘Prosecco Stormfront’ Hmm

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3fterm=Prosecco%2bStormfront&amp=true

DontpoketheTERFmum · 11/12/2020 22:01

@ALittleBitofVitriol

Haha am I reading it right that a male moderator got upset after being pointedly told off for silencing women, so the repeated accusations of 'misandry' in that word vomit post were for his benefit?

Welcome to mumsnet. There's a few of us Aussies here. I left EB a while ago but did pop back to read the GC threads and add my likes. I cannot believe the accusations in that letter, (almost) every post I read on this topic on EB was painfully polite and studded with gentle caveats.

We are a real mess here in Aus.

The site owner and main admin is a man, yes. He's definitely getting off on having all these women do his dirty work for him.
PotholeParadies · 11/12/2020 22:05

So you had a long-established parenting forum (which naturally ended up being female-dominated, right?) which shut down.

Some members set up a new one to replace it. But the team of people who could make the substantial commitment of time to mod the new site happened, by pure chance, to include a man hostile to gender-critical feminism, which has led to the new site having an enforced culture change from its predecessor.

Sadly this means a controversial debate has been suppressed in what aspires to be the main online community for Australian mothers.

Well. That all sounds like a tragic and unpredictable chain of events.

PotholeParadies · 11/12/2020 22:07

Cross-post.

Ah, so this is actually the main mover behind efforts to preserve the community? The person who leapt in to save the day?

Agrona · 11/12/2020 22:13

From Australia and arrived here a few years ago due to following some wise women who were forced off a supposedly ‘tracking misogyny’ site. I don’t post often because the women who contribute to this site amaze me with their patience, intelligence and wit.

kagado · 11/12/2020 22:14

Yes a man saved the day - it’s infuriating, he owns the forum and is seeking to monetise it I assume (fair enough). Personally he would have done well to keep the GC threads as they were the most active.

That message was from a female mod though. And he has handmaidens aplenty which is cringe worthy and sad at the same time. I really expected better.

OP posts:
PotholeParadies · 11/12/2020 22:17

Agrona

It's an echo chamber there. No dissent allowed.

PurpleHoodie · 11/12/2020 22:18

Ah well.

Pull up a chair.

Bring cushions.

AnnHibbons · 11/12/2020 22:38

hi all! another aussie who has been cast off an online space for daring to assert that women exist. Good to be here.