It's proper red hot rage mixed with grief and sadness and pain and then wondering if I am allowed to centre my experiences over others etc.
I skim read the whole thing, and there was something around apologising to hurting other survivors - I'll go back to it when I've calmed down a bit.
I've been having really bad flashbacks recently because groups and causes and people he was involved with are coming up on the news- I avoided having a telly for years because of this, but got one just before lockdown.
I've realised I often trigger myself when talking to jj on here trying to explain how I am not a right wing activist, chucking in my (ahaha) leftie "credentials", and then realising they all involved people who supported/enabled him.
I am going to start a thread in FWR about women's experiences of abuse within left wing communities- I realise it's super niche, but I'm sure I'm not alone. I don't want to discuss right wing group experiences especially though, if that's ok? I've been dithering about it for a few weeks. I don't need permission, I know.