Do any of you dress etc 'gender free' or have tried to in the past?

[SoulofanAggron]

I'm going a bit more 'gender free' in my look. Did try it once years ago for a couple of years. Have any of you tried it/done it?

I know a lot of women have quite a 'gender free' look anyway.

I'd have thought it was quite unusual nowadays for post retirement age women not to own any trousers

Probably. My grandmothers never wore trousers, always skirts, but they have passed now and would be in their nineties if they were still Alive. I kinda meant really quite elderly but was being polite.

My DM and MIL would have been late 90s and over 100 and mostly wore trousers, and they were by no means unusual among their peers. I think they found them warmer and less fiddly than tights.

I wear men's t shirts, because I like them log enough to come to hip length, but I then take them in at the waist, and restyle the too high neck to something that's more flattering for me. So its a mans t shirt with a woman's fit.

I win!

Long! Not log.

I think trousers look hideous on most women and jeans are the most boring item of clothing on the planet. What surprises me is why anyone picks such a dull, ubiquitous and on most people unflattering garment.

I wear jeans because they're practical, and it means I don't have to think about what I'm going to wear. I don't really care if they're unflattering. If it bothers someone else that they make my arse look huge, that's their problem.

Why does it matter if my clothes are 'dull'? I wear them to cover my body and keep me warm. I don't think I have a duty to be decorative.

Gosh some of you really do have difficulties imagining anyone being different don't you?

My DM and her friends are in their 80s and all wear trousers. They were of a generation and background where it was more unusual to wear them when they were younger. Some of them didn't start wearing them until their 60s.
Dido it's a tad ironic that you're telling posters their choices are bland and make them look hideous, whilst trying to lecture others on how to post appropriately

Dido
Your also now saying things I didn't say so there's little point in "clarifying language".

That's not actually true, is it? The bits I quoted you as saying are (or were) there in your posts.

Trousers are just quite practical for all the reasons why women fought to wear them in the first place.

I suppose if you do nothing more physical than go for a stroll, skirts are perfectly adequate. I do many activities where skirts are impractical. Whether I look better in skirts or trousers is of secondary importance

FWIW my grandmother was 100 when she died and I don't remember her wearing a skirt except for weddings.

Maybe wearing skirts is a way of showing that you're not doing manual labour?

I think most women have a pretty free pick of everything that's out there, actually, and rarely or never have anyone say, "You can't wear that - only men can wear that!"

Men on the other hand seem to observe such rigid rules (no pink, no florals, no skirts, no tights, no heels, no hair ornaments etc) that it's no wonder some feel excluded. I wonder who or what stops them. It isn't women. Do men police themselves or each other or both?

It's as if they feel they must transition or go on an over-the-top TV show or on-stage before they give themselves permission.

@OldCrone

I think trousers look hideous on most women and jeans are the most boring item of clothing on the planet. What surprises me is why anyone picks such a dull, ubiquitous and on most people unflattering garment.

I wear jeans because they're practical, and it means I don't have to think about what I'm going to wear. I don't really care if they're unflattering. If it bothers someone else that they make my arse look huge, that's their problem.

Why does it matter if my clothes are 'dull'? I wear them to cover my body and keep me warm. I don't think I have a duty to be decorative.

Gosh some of you really do have difficulties imagining anyone being different don't you?

Have you been asked to explain your preference in clothes because only some past retirement age or disabled would wear them?

@Bluntness100

I'd have thought it was quite unusual nowadays for post retirement age women not to own any trousers

Probably. My grandmothers never wore trousers, always skirts, but they have passed now and would be in their nineties if they were still Alive. I kinda meant really quite elderly but was being polite.

Why assume I don't wear trousers because I'm "quite elderly". I'm 61. I haven't worn jeans or trousers in over 30 years and even when I did I found them unattractive and uncomfortable.

I'm puzzled by your comment about "being polite".

Gender free tends to mean male.

Have you been asked to explain your preference in clothes because only some past retirement age or disabled would wear them?

No, but I think it's a bit hypocritical of you to criticise others' clothing choices, then say that it's other people who have difficulties imagining anyone being different.

You dress to be decorative/smart/beautiful or whatever reasons you have for your clothing choices. I dress for comfort and practicality. I'm not going to criticise your choices in clothing, because I think you should be free to make that choice. What I don't understand is why you have to criticise other women's clothing choices just because they're different from yours and based on other criteria.

No, I don't really see any reason I shouldn't wear feminine clothes if I want to. It's not like I need to wear an uncomfortable corset or can't do the things I need to in them. I'm on the curvy side so I find even with jeans etc the ones cut for men don't fi very well.

I used to wear my bf jumpers and we even used to buy clothes to share when we are in art-college, but in generally I'm too curvy/short for men's clothes they don't accommodate my boobs.
Having said that my day to day clothes are 'gender neutral' apart from they are cut for women's bodies.

It's always stood out to me that adult men often wear pink shirts, jumpers and t-shirts and floral print shirts but little boys rarely do. I assume these colours and patterns are only OK once there's no chance of a male being mistaken for a female.

Who cares whether the clothing you wear is feminine or unisex, sexy or sexless. Isn’t the point that it is your choice as long as all the bits are covered as expected for the place you are wearing those clothes.

Who cares if someone else thinks you look unattractive and thinks the clothes are hideous or whether they think you look fantastic in them. If they are suitable for purpose it says more about the person judging you doesn’t it.

If they wish to wear their judgey pants and decide that jeans look unflattering so should never be worn, that is fine. They are obviously comfy in their judgey pants.

@NewlyGranny

I think most women have a pretty free pick of everything that's out there, actually, and rarely or never have anyone say, "You can't wear that - only men can wear that!"

Men on the other hand seem to observe such rigid rules (no pink, no florals, no skirts, no tights, no heels, no hair ornaments etc) that it's no wonder some feel excluded. I wonder who or what stops them. It isn't women. Do men police themselves or each other or both?

It's as if they feel they must transition or go on an over-the-top TV show or on-stage before they give themselves permission.

I think the reason that women have free pick, is that male is the default. Anything male or masculine is seems as superior, so of course women want to wear it . Why wouldn’t they want to be seen alto be as good as the goodly big strong men. Whereas no man is going to want to wear the ‘inferior’ feminine garments, because that would be a demotion for them. Because feminine sucks.

I don’t agree with the above, obviously, but there’s no doubt in my mind that’s what’s going on.

We grew up, many of us, hearing ‘pretty dress’ ‘dainty shoes’ ‘you look so sweet’ and so on and do on, still cooed over girl babies and toddlers.

There are clolthes, girls clothes and feminine clothes to choose from.

My Mum bought striped T shirts in primary colours and plain shorts so they could be passed down to my brother. My friend always had frilly shorts and pink or sequinned T shirts.

Girls shoes are ‘dainty’ and somehow girls must encounter shallower puddles than boys, whose shoes are more rugged, with non slip soles.

Girls and women who wear sturdier shoes are frequently told (including on MN S&B that the shoes look ‘orthopaedic’, meant as a disparagement- which is also disablist but then maybe judgement about one thing spreads to others).

Men do not routinely wear high heels, I would say high heels are ‘gendered’.

I wear clothes that are practical and that I like. I wear ‘women’s clothing’ where the shape or fit works better for me.
I wear a bra, due to my sex, and the breasts that I have due to sex benefitting from support.
But I never wear ‘feminine’ clothing. I don’t wear anything frilly, floral, pink, ‘dainty’, with heels etc. It doesn’t suit me as I feel female, not ‘feminine’ and it is not practical low maintenance clothing.

But some of my choices, particularly around shoes / footwear were set when I was about 11 and saw how restrictive heels and non practical girls shoes were. I made a feminist choice against them. Refused patent shoes that had to be kept scuff free, shoes that came loose when climbing trees or shoes that couldn’t be used for running fast or going in reasonable puddles.

I was labelled a Tomboy. I just rejected the clothing offered to my sex that would constrain me.

Maybe people project. Sometimes if something looks awful on you or you it doesn't suit your shape, you feel better by condemning that item as terribly unflattering. I get it; everybody wants to feel better about themselves.

Thing is, jeans can look gorgeous on some people. Certainly now they have so many different cuts, shades and added elastane to give a better fit.

The only jeans I kinda go 'oops' over are the red/pink jeans you see in places like Le Touquet. Parisien men's leisure wear. Are they jeans as we know them? Really?

Floral isn't out for men. My OH bought a short sleeved shirt this summer, with tiny colourful sprigs all over it. It is lovely on him. Also, one of the nicest shirts he ever had was a pink and white check. He has golden red hair, so you think it shouldn't work, but it was gorgeous on him. Collar is worn now, though.

No, but I think it's a bit hypocritical of you to criticise others' clothing choices, then say that it's other people who have difficulties imagining anyone being different

My comments were said in response to the patronising ageist and ableist assumptions that only someone very old or with a disability would not own trousers. The posters in question aaked me why- they got my honest answer.

My outer clothing choices are first and foremost practical, so jeggings, t shirts, jeans, plimsolls, waterproof jackets (Scotland). I'm about comfort and freedom to move. Ironically, I spend my days working with that most feminine of garments, the wedding dress. I bead, I embroider, I sew delicate hems on the sheerest silks, but I also crawl on the floor pinning them, and hoist girls into lace up corsets, which can take a bit of strength! Long t shirts mean I can stretch up without flashing. Stretch jeggings and jeans mean I can bend without cutting off my circulation. Plimsolls can be kicked off so I only tread on trains in clean socks, not outdoor shoes. I'm not sure about the politics of clothing at all, but OH wears floral shirts with verve, and I'm currently making him one in chicken print fabric. Make of that what you will.

Men on the other hand seem to observe such rigid rules (no pink, no florals, no skirts, no tights, no heels, no hair ornaments etc) that it's no wonder some feel excluded. I wonder who or what stops them. It isn't women

The bit about no pink or floral isn't true. There are loads of mens' shirts available like that. Pink is pretty standard office wear. But skirts?

You can't seriously be saying all women would be happy with their partners wearing skirts? There were posters on the man in a skirt thread who weren't happy. Cross- dressers get pretty short shrift on FWR despite the wear what you want mantra- I doubt the general public is more open minded.