Anyone else's TV pleasure ruined by feminism?

[QuentinWinters]

I was trying to watch "The Social Dilemma" on Netflix yesterday.
It wasjust full of self congratulatory men, either really amazed that their big brains had come up with a difficult ethical question, or really proud they had monetised Facebook, or namedropping the ceo of twitter.
I got so bored of men wanging on I had to turn it off.
I don't know if it was just a really bad programme or if feminism has ruined me!

Glad I'm not alone.

Its infuriating isn't it. I haven't seen the social dilemma but omg some of the TV shows, the fawning over guys who even try and "get it" . The tantrums when its not about them. One thing that annoys me is people asking permission to date someone. Erm why does your mate decide he doesn't own her he has no claim over her , I wouldnt want either of them after that.

I know what you mean. American Beauty didn’t annoy me half so much when I watched it the first time. Second time I saw it for the pile of woman hating wank it is. Silence of the Lambs I get much more now the scales have dropped from my eyes. Very clever portrayal of the male gaze.

i have to admit i am generally finding most films are either about the relationship between groups of men and their achievements or where women are basically victims of rape or murder as their function of the plot.
I dont know if its partly I watch one film like that and then prime/netflix keep pushing similar films on me?

I stopped watching the Social Dilemma after about 15 minutes, not for any feminist reasons but just because it seemed full of very smug people who have already made their money from these companies and now act all concerned about what they were a part of. Yawn...

Yep. One of my particular bug bears is in thrillers or "gritty" TV series where theres always the compliant strippers or prostitutes or abused girlfriends who are just there as props and are treated as complete non people. They always look pretty, smile and are simply completely glossed over as if they are the same as the expensive car or the nice beach house the bad guys has.

And the old stuff. My favourite film used to be Dangerous Liaisons, but when I tried to watch it again recently, I had to give up because dear god it's rapey

I Hate Susie was a lovely welcome relief from this which I watched recently. One thing I noticed in it was that with the agent character - often while she was on in the background there was a radio with news reporting on a violent attach against women. It was very subtle - was not a point of the main narrative and no attention was drawn to it - but it was just so clever. Because it was the sense of the constant onslaught of violence that women are always aware of that is mostly absent from other dramas - where violence is always "cool" male on male violence or where a woman is the victim of sexual violence - but in the later case the violence is always contained to that victim. It really struck me.

Glad it's not just me! And it's not just tv , it's books as well.

I loved it when I found feminism and the scales dropped and I saw my relationships/ work place arrangement/ friendships for what they were. Like seeing the world clearly for the first time (though upsetting to lose many of my male "friends", when I realised I was an accessory and ego boost more than an actual friend)

But it's only in my second decade of feminism that popular culture has also taken a hit and now I find I'm in an almost constant seethe.

Bizarrely I find I can watch films from the 50s a lot easier than a lot of modern ones. I'd rather watch an old unashamedly sexist film than a modern one which has one "strong" female character who just happens to have a sex scene.

I think I've said this before, but Brooklyn 99 really made me rant once.

Amy tells Terry's little girls, "Well, you know how the world is a harder place for women?" They're say "no" in horror and one says, "Well I don't want to be a woman then!"

And the INSTANT woke response from Jake (lead male character) is something like, "Well you don't have to be if that's not who you feel you are, but that's a whole other discussion!"

It made me see red because the way that women are treated and objectified and pornified and stereotyped and treated like shit is exactly why so many young women are trying to opt out of womanhood into superior non-binary identities and the like.

And the show seems so close to understanding but then praises the idea of transitioning instead. Unbelievable.

@testing987654321

Bizarrely I find I can watch films from the 50s a lot easier than a lot of modern ones. I'd rather watch an old unashamedly sexist film than a modern one which has one "strong" female character who just happens to have a sex scene.

There's a brilliant line in John Wyndham's Trouble with Lichen where the heroine, talking of the pressures on her to get married and become a housewife rather than be a brilliant biochemist, says "they've changed the tactics from coercion to diddle: re-label 'housewife' as 'homemaker' and it no longer sounds so threatening."

I think there's a lot in this. Films like "His Girl Friday" - women knew what they were up against trying to succeed in a man's world, and knew they had to actively fight.

Now - a lot of the barriers are still there (not all, obviously - bank accounts in our own right, legal right to equal pay, albeit more honoured in the breach, not expected to give up work as soon as you marry, supposedly illegal to sack us if we get pregnant). But the barriers that are still there - we're supposed to pretend that they're not, so when young women encounter them for the first time, they are totally wrong footed. They grew up not realising they'd have to fight!

Sorry, that's a bit of a digression. But broadly speaking, yes, totally agree, OP.

@QuentinWinters

I was trying to watch "The Social Dilemma" on Netflix yesterday. It wasjust full of self congratulatory men, either really amazed that their big brains had come up with a difficult ethical question, or really proud they had monetised Facebook, or namedropping the ceo of twitter. I got so bored of men wanging on I had to turn it off. I don't know if it was just a really bad programme or if feminism has ruined me!

Your TV watching was not ruined by feminism; it was ruined by the misogynistic patriarchial back-slapping culture. My pleasure was ruined by it too.

YANBU. Feminism ruined the first episode of the bake off for me (and my DH who had to listen to my ranting).

Each contestant had to make a bust of their idol (out of cake obviously) and whilst the very camp gay man chose Marie Antoinette, none of the other men chose women. The female contestants chose a mix of men and women. It made me realise how rare it would be for a man to idolise an accomplished woman.

My DH, when grilled at length couldn't think of a woman he would idolise. Poor bloke, since neither could I...

@Oxyiz

Yes. Brooklyn 999 is no champion of women even thought they're all too busy congratulating themselves on how woke they are too notice.

The men all get to be fun but ultimately save the day whilst the women are in charge of maintaining morality and ultimately deferentially stepping aside for the men to win the day when it really matters. The women are TOTALLY across the office admin though.

One thing I noticed in it was that with the agent character - often while she was on in the background there was a radio with news reporting on a violent attach against women. It was very subtle - was not a point of the main narrative and no attention was drawn to it - but it was just so clever.

Yes I thought that was fantastic.

You are not alone.

I find myself turning things off now. I'm found the last season of Queer Eye to be difficult in this regard. One of the fab five made a glib comment about "getting a surrogate" and my stomach just seized. I'm afraid my first thought was "you've shown your hand, mate, haven't you?"

I couldn't watch the rest of the show for ages after that, and when I did, I just noticed more and more odd comments and attitudes towards women, and finally just turned off.

The show that's utterly revolting for its attitudes to women, however, is Altered Carbon on Netflix. It was like some incel's sci-fi dream: women are prostitutes to be used as punch bags, museum objects in figure skimming gowns or tough policewomen that can't quite hack it.

It's pretty upsetting that there's so few shows that actually portray women's lives in a realistic way. I feel the same about BME minorities: I find it gutting that so many black characters are always written to a very tight, urban frame (the BBC is horrific for this).

But these days, it's the violence and aggression that gets me. I've had enough of it.

Good I'm glad I'm not alone
Had a huge rant at DP at the start if the second series of Big Little Lies ....

about how they better not be setting it up to be all the mothers fault, he said i was being a militant feminist and it would be more subtle than that. Well guess what? First series and second series ruined by patriarchal bullshit.....

I feel the same about BME minorities: I find it gutting that so many black characters are always written to a very tight, urban frame (the BBC is horrific for this).
I loved "I may destroy you". But I guess it might fit this narrative. I hadn't noticed, thanks packing

I absolutely agree OP.

This seems apt: entertainment.theonion.com/woman-takes-short-half-hour-break-from-being-feminist-t-1819576049

DH watches that Altered Carbon show. I may have to subject him to further education....

yes, it is getting hard not to point out the unacceptable behaviour and misogynistic attitudes (I do mostly refrain for the sake of my family's sanity though).

Dead to Me on Netflix was quite good.

Yes and no. I was slow to the Poldark party and only recently watched it properly. Had a big crush on Ross, up until the point where he essentially rapes Elizabeth. And then it was all explained away with the usual "couldn't help myself, untamable male passion" bullshit, and poor Elizabeth had to spend the rest of her life feeling guilty about it while Ross's life follows an ever upward trajectory and he ends up ib the fucking house of commons as an MP! I mean, I know that's the kind of thing many male MPs have actually got away with, but surely we can do better with our online sex symbols?! As Gloria Steiner says "It's time to eroticise consent!"

*TV sex symbols even!

Gloria *Steinem even. My brain is like swiss cheese today!

YESYESYES! I think like this all the time. Was watching uni challenge last night and the every contestant was a middle class white man. Unbelievable