Unisex Primary Toilets

[Yellowleaf]

This is my first time posting and I am looking for some advice. My daughter is in unit one in primary school and I have just found out she now has to share the toilets with boys. She told me as she said she can’t go to the loo all day as when she goes in the loo boys have come in and she then can’t go. I’m worried as she is holding it in all day & this could possibly cause a urine infection etc.

I am going to speak with the teacher as I’m unhappy with the changes made for a few reasons & think single sex sex toilets should be available.
Also the parents were not told of the change to mixed sex toilets. It seems from speaking to my daughter that it has something to do with changes due to Covid. Sorry if I am waffling, I was wondering if anyone can tell
me if there are any specific guidelines/rules that need to be in place when toilets are unisex? I would just like to know the facts before I speak to the teacher. Thanks in advance.

What age is Unit 1? I’m sure my kids had mixed sex toilets at primary until year 5 or so. Unless the boys are trying to look under the door etc or the doors don’t lock then I’m not sure why she feels she can’t go.

In my DD school they have a glass wall to the corridor and fitted doors so you can't see over or under them in the unisex loos - there are other choices if single sex toilets though

The law in England says that at age 8 and over toilets in schools should be separated by sex.
At mine, DD had periods at 9, so separate loos helped. Reception (4 year olds) had its own toilet attached to that classroom. Year one upwards was separated by “Key Stage” and sex. And separate adult/visitor toilets.

What country are you in?

Kids aren't legally entitled to single sex toilets until 8 unfortunately.

But I would assume if they are unisex they still have ro abide by the regs which would mean that if there are gaps under the doors and a shared sink they probabky arent lawful.

Whats the set up do you know?

Are they built built mixed sex units or have they just changed the sign on the door

What is the big deal about toilets? Don't most people have unisex toilets? Does everyone have at least two at home, marked "His" and "Hers" like embroidered pillowcases? You go in, close the door, lock it and do your business. I would be more concerned that the little boys using the toilet would be less than clean and wonder who was cleaning the toilet and how often.

Do you share your bathroom with 60 other people?

Could you confirm where you are?

There's not much point in referring to the laws, best practice and actual practice in one jusrisdiction if you are in a different one (and unit 1 isn't a typical term anywhere in UK)

I can see why it is a Covid restriction - keeping all of one class in the same loo rather than having mixing in common facilities thus creating a bigger bubble.

Is it a cubicle only set of loos?

"What is the big deal about toilets? Don't most people have unisex toilets? Does everyone have at least two at home, marked "His" and "Hers" like embroidered pillowcases? You go in, close the door, lock it and do your business. I would be more concerned that the little boys using the toilet would be less than clean and wonder who was cleaning the toilet and how often."

I don't live with strangers.
I have a bathroom with a full door, with no gap at the bottom or top.
I don't fear anyone that I share my private home with.

None of that applies in public or school toilets. Which you know very well. But by all means, continue to try and make out that a desire for single sex facilities is just Pearl clutching.

@GeorgiaGirl52

What is the big deal about toilets? Don't most people have unisex toilets? Does everyone have at least two at home, marked "His" and "Hers" like embroidered pillowcases? You go in, close the door, lock it and do your business. I would be more concerned that the little boys using the toilet would be less than clean and wonder who was cleaning the toilet and how often.

Generally, school toilet cubicle doors have gaps at the bottom and top and can be opened from the outside if you know how in order to ensure kids don't get locked in. Some of the younger ones don't lock the door either, for fear of getting locked in. In the younger years you do get kids peeking at each other under toilet doors etc if the toilets aren't supervised, so I do get the objection if the toilets are in a separate location from the classroom.

It would be actively dangerous for small children to have cubicles without gaps at the top and bottom of the door (indeed ideally an adult would be able to look over the top) They are not mini adults. Hand washing needs to be communal so that they can be helped. It is perfectly fine for toilets in reception and nursery to be unisex, possibly preferable. As they get older it is sensible to have separate so that children get used to the distinction but they might still need to be relatively open as these children may need help/supervision. By the age of 8 (at the latest) the norms of single sex loos should kick in.

" What is the big deal....'"

As a teacher I would have thought Georgia would have been only too aware of the " nonsense" that goes on in school toilets.

Definitely question it. In the short term could the teacher give girls and Boys time slots? I.e. Girls start of break boys end of break.

These things can really matter to kids. We’re putting some really grown up philosophies on them.

God the "doN'T YoU HavE UNiseX ToiLeTs aT HOme?" thing is such a weak take. It's obvious what the difference between a private single home toilet and a shared public toilet block is, and what the difference between the few males you've chosen to live with and multiple male strangers is, so either put your money where your mouth is and open your home toilet up to public use, or fuck off and stop being so disingenuous. Honestly, how people can be so intellectually dishonest is beyond me. Aren't you embarrassed? Because I'm embarrassed for you.

My school switched to unisex toilets during covid and it was shared with parents in the school's published risk assessment.
Reason being - separate toilets to maintain the integrity of the bubbles. They don't have enough gendered toilets to accommodate each bubble, so had to unisex the ones in years 1-4, and they are supervised by teaching assistants as well.

But this was all info shared in the risk assessment and wider communications around covid adaptations with parents.

Ask the school.

Can't speak for anyone else's loo, but mine meets the legal requirements for a unisex one - it's a self enclosed room with floor to ceiling walls, contains sink and sanitary waste receptacle, designed for one occupant at a time.

Unless your bathroom at home contains multiple toilets, separated by inadequate strips of plasterboard, that you and your spouse and all your male guests use at the same time, it's really not comparable to the situation in single-sex public facilities.

@SonEtLumiere

Definitely speak up. I recently visited a new primary school where all the kids toilets were mixed sex.

The architect (of whom I was a guest) was surprised not to get woke cookie praise about it, and guess what. Less than a month into term they have to change it.

Honestly just give negative feedback.

The architect didn't read the guidance properly. Dh has designed schools; the guidance is v clear.

Infants schools often have unisex loos. Both my kids schools did. No issues at all. Juniors did have separate male and female, plus any girls who started their periods could use the disabled toilet that had a washbasin in the cubicle for privacy.

plus any girls who started their periods could use the disabled toilet that had a washbasin in the cubicle for privacy

And where do the disabled kids go then? Why aren't the junior toilets set up for girls properly? If there's only one toilet fir the disabled children and that's taken by girls dealing with periods then they are deprived of the one toilet they can use.

We are in England & my daughter is 7. From talking to her this am it seems the boys toilets are now unisex and the previous girls toilets are for the other class to use. It looks like it is due to the “bubbles” although I did think that the bubbles were formed by Units (2 year groups) rather than the classes within the year groups.

My daughter is quite shy & she just doesn’t seem comfortable using the loo in school with boys in the same toilets, hence her no longer using them. Many thanks for all the replies, they have certainly given me some food for thought. I will just go and have a chat with her teacher to see about it all.

Definitely speak to the teacher. The school shouldn’t be making changes that make children uncomfortable. Unfortunately 8 is the age that separate sex toilets are legally required.

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

God the "doN'T YoU HavE UNiseX ToiLeTs aT HOme?" thing is such a weak take. It's obvious what the difference between a private single home toilet and a shared public toilet block is, and what the difference between the few males you've chosen to live with and multiple male strangers is, so either put your money where your mouth is and open your home toilet up to public use, or fuck off and stop being so disingenuous. Honestly, how people can be so intellectually dishonest is beyond me. Aren't you embarrassed? Because I'm embarrassed for you.

Well said!

We have mixed sex toilets at secondary school, it’s being more and more common, I would tell her not to worry and get on with it. It’s not a big deal

Being common doesn't mean its no big deal or kids need to "get over it"

Mixed sex spaces are more dangerous for women and girls .

Girls miss hundreds of hours if education a year due to fears over period shaming and period poverty.

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

God the "doN'T YoU HavE UNiseX ToiLeTs aT HOme?" thing is such a weak take. It's obvious what the difference between a private single home toilet and a shared public toilet block is, and what the difference between the few males you've chosen to live with and multiple male strangers is, so either put your money where your mouth is and open your home toilet up to public use, or fuck off and stop being so disingenuous. Honestly, how people can be so intellectually dishonest is beyond me. Aren't you embarrassed? Because I'm embarrassed for you.

You said what I was about to say but in far less polite terms -- thank you! So @ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings I hope you have declared your home toilet a public one so that any passing stranger can use it.