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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Unisex Primary Toilets

108 replies

Yellowleaf · 29/09/2020 06:41

This is my first time posting and I am looking for some advice. My daughter is in unit one in primary school and I have just found out she now has to share the toilets with boys. She told me as she said she can’t go to the loo all day as when she goes in the loo boys have come in and she then can’t go. I’m worried as she is holding it in all day & this could possibly cause a urine infection etc.

I am going to speak with the teacher as I’m unhappy with the changes made for a few reasons & think single sex sex toilets should be available.
Also the parents were not told of the change to mixed sex toilets. It seems from speaking to my daughter that it has something to do with changes due to Covid. Sorry if I am waffling, I was wondering if anyone can tell
me if there are any specific guidelines/rules that need to be in place when toilets are unisex? I would just like to know the facts before I speak to the teacher. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 29/09/2020 12:16

[quote OverTheRainbow88]@Sexnotgender

No I won’t fuck off, this is an open public forum; I’m equally entitled to express my opinion as you are. And fuck off is a pathetic response.

All I am saying is it is becoming more common in schools, where safeguarding is paramount, girls are more at physical risk holding in their wee all day than they are using a mixed toilet.[/quote]
You think you should get to decide which laws to break and which to keep, so don't expect much support.

The law says that children 8 years old and over should have single sex toilets. Schools that force girls to use mixed sex toilets are breaking the law.

Whatwouldscullydo · 29/09/2020 12:18

I dont get how its "no big deal" when the kids don't like it but such a huge deal if kids are told to use single sex toilets.

Either toilets are a big deal or they aren't. Why aren't the kids told to "get over it" when they have to use the single sex ones.

NeurotrashWarrior · 29/09/2020 12:18

The law says that children 8 years old and over should have single sex toilets. Schools that force girls to use mixed sex toilets are breaking the law.

Covid laws may have impacted this negatively, I'm not entirely sure legally where things stand at the moment.

NeurotrashWarrior · 29/09/2020 12:20

Apologies for sun link

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/8266620/rise-of-pre-teen-sexual-predators-in-uk-schools/

NeurotrashWarrior · 29/09/2020 12:20

Website: not fine in schools.

notfineinschool.org.uk/sexual-assault

Thelnebriati · 29/09/2020 12:25

Until there is clear guidance of changes relating to Covid the current law stands.
It covers more than just cubicles and rooms; it also covers sanitary waste. If a cubicle does not contain a sanitary waste bin its not suitable for use by women or girls over the age of 8.

silentpool · 29/09/2020 12:27

Some people get anxious using public toilets for any more than a wee. I remember my aunt could only ever do a poo at home. And I don't give a fig about the reasons, I'm grown up and I hate unisex toilets because they make me feel uncomfortable. Why are little girls being put into a situation like that to begin with?

Iamanaubergine · 29/09/2020 12:35

@OverTheRainbow88

If they use the disabled toilet then they arendling to disabled kids what the boys are doing to them. Excluding them from their own facilities.

Why is a girl ok to share a toilet with a disabled boy but not a non disabled boy?

They’re not using them at the same time though are they? Disabled toilets are usually self enclosed spaces big enough for one user. The toilets the OP is discussing are multi cubicle with shared hand washing facilities.
Ptgh · 29/09/2020 12:36

Same at my daughter’s school due to Covid bubbles. She’s 10. She no longer drinks any water all day to avoid going. It is a massive deal and no, she should’t just get on with it.

Sexnotgender · 29/09/2020 12:37

Exactly. Self enclosed single room cubicles are absolutely fine. As long as they open on to a main corridor.

Taking facilities away from disabled students and repurposing them is not ok.

Whatwouldscullydo · 29/09/2020 13:10

Same at my daughter’s school due to Covid bubbles. She’s 10. She no longer drinks any water all day to avoid going. It is a massive deal and no, she should’t just get on with it

Have you spoken to the teacher ?

I bet they haven't even set it up properly for girls either have they. SadAngry

Goosefoot · 29/09/2020 13:20

I feel for the schools trying to keep their bubbles intact. A hopeless task IMO but they've been told they need to do it.

I generally think that small children don't need separate toilets, for younger kids it's often better to have common toilets where the teacher can supervise. 8 seems about the right age to require separation to me.

But for a child who was upset by it and avoiding the toilet I would talk to the teacher or school and try and work out a solution - there may be a simple one available - maybe use a single toilet in a staff room or she could go with another little girl if that made her feel safer.

Ptgh · 29/09/2020 13:24

Have you spoken to the teacher

Yes but to be fair there’s not much the school can do and teacher’s are having enough stress as it is. This is all part of the Covid Risk Assessment imposed on them by the local authority.

Whatwouldscullydo · 29/09/2020 13:30

Local authorities are allowing year group bubbles in secondary schools so seems strange that on one hand thats OK whilst sharing toilets which should be cleaned regularly anyway , with 15 from another class isnt.

Especially as many will be mixing with siblings or childminders anyway

Wearywithteens · 29/09/2020 13:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

wellbehavedwomen · 29/09/2020 13:48

@OverTheRainbow88

Equally a little girl could follow another girl in and touch their bum.

Also wheelchair users always have mixed toilets.

I sometimes think adults make things into an issue for their children, I genuinely can’t see why mixed toilets is an issue for any sex.

Drop the bullshit that girls pose the same risk as boys. Just fucking stop with that mealy-mouthed, dishonest, fundamentally misogynist lie. A girl is raped on school premises every single day of the school year. And those are just the ones reported to the police, and that's just at the extreme end of the sexualised and sexist abuse teenage girls have to deal with - from harrassment, all the way up to serious assault. I'm sure you think girls are just as likely to be doing the sexual harrassing, assaulting and raping though, right? Hmm

98% of sex offending is by males. Comprehensives have thousands of kids, and by definition must take any and all. That means teenage girls are living cheek by jowl with hundreds of teenage boys, not all of whom will be benign. Of the UK population, 1 in 2500 males are in jail for a sex offence at any one time - not those with a conviction, but actually in jail. We have fewer than 1.5% of reported rapes even being charged, far less convicted, and we still have that level of imprisonment. It's an absolute guarantee that a comprehensive will be teaching boys who have committed, or will commit, serious sexual offences, and yet you profess astonishment that girls may want separate spaces to remove their clothing? When there are gaps above and below the cubicle? And that's even without the reality that many fundamentally harmless, just immature teenage boys find nothing more hilarious than mocking girls who have their periods, or their knickers round their ankles... and will also be showing off to their mates.

Disabled loos are individual and fully enclosed rooms. There is no comparison whatsoever. It's about as sane, honest and rational as those whining that our own bathrooms are unisex.

Did you even go to a mixed sex school? Was it a large comprehensive, if so? The potential for sexualised bullying is just enormous, in mixed sex loos. Which is why it's against the law not to provide single sex loos for kids over 8. I have no issue with mixed sex loos for under 8s, as it happens. Over that, and yes, it matters - and by secondary years, it matters enormously. Which is why it is the fucking law to begin with.

girls are more at physical risk holding in their wee all day than they are using a mixed toilet.

If they are doing that, then clearly they have a reason. One important enough for them to make that choice. Who do you think you are, dismissing their feelings and instincts like that and opining (alongside the clear lie that girls pose the same risk as boys) that they're just being silly?

wellbehavedwomen · 29/09/2020 13:52

@Sexnotgender

Exactly. Self enclosed single room cubicles are absolutely fine. As long as they open on to a main corridor.

Taking facilities away from disabled students and repurposing them is not ok.

Completely agree. DS can't use any shared loos - has to be private, clean, and fully enclosed. And it's in his EHCP that he doesn't ever have to.

If they put lots of private loos, all opening off central corridors, and all otherwise genuinely private separate rooms, that would actually be better for everyone. Single sex, communal loos are still key places for bullying, sadly.

OverTheRainbow88 · 29/09/2020 13:59

A girl is raped on school premises every single day of the school year.

Have you got a link to where you got that stat from?

Sexnotgender · 29/09/2020 14:02

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-34138287

600 in 3 years. Bearing in mind schools are open for 190 days a year it’s actually slightly more than one per day.

Whatwouldscullydo · 29/09/2020 14:03

Its in the link above

Sexnotgender · 29/09/2020 14:04

I wonder how many young girls are acceptable collateral damage...

Angryresister · 29/09/2020 14:12

So people ( not allowed to say which people) are coming on here telling women and girls that whatever we say, with good evidence, it doesn’t stand up to their opinions which are bullshit.

JKRowlingIsMyQueen · 29/09/2020 14:15

@GeorgiaGirl52

What is the big deal about toilets? Don't most people have unisex toilets? Does everyone have at least two at home, marked "His" and "Hers" like embroidered pillowcases? You go in, close the door, lock it and do your business. I would be more concerned that the little boys using the toilet would be less than clean and wonder who was cleaning the toilet and how often.
Idiot.
Whatwouldscullydo · 29/09/2020 14:18

Aaaa but then they will come back and say it doesn't happen becuase the toilets are supervised and behaviour is better whilst conveniently not registering why they would feel this extra supervision is necessary in kixed sex facilities, or where these extra staff suddenly came from and why they never appeared while the behaviour was apparently so bad in the single sex loos .. Confused

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