Unisex Primary Toilets

[Yellowleaf]

This is my first time posting and I am looking for some advice. My daughter is in unit one in primary school and I have just found out she now has to share the toilets with boys. She told me as she said she can’t go to the loo all day as when she goes in the loo boys have come in and she then can’t go. I’m worried as she is holding it in all day & this could possibly cause a urine infection etc.

I am going to speak with the teacher as I’m unhappy with the changes made for a few reasons & think single sex sex toilets should be available.
Also the parents were not told of the change to mixed sex toilets. It seems from speaking to my daughter that it has something to do with changes due to Covid. Sorry if I am waffling, I was wondering if anyone can tell
me if there are any specific guidelines/rules that need to be in place when toilets are unisex? I would just like to know the facts before I speak to the teacher. Thanks in advance.

And why is it so problematic that parents expect their children to be allowed boundries. Why dismiss what we know is a real issue, so much so charities fundraise to provide single sex toilets in other countries so girls can attend school.

Its disturbing how so many people dont think its a big deal girls can't say no to boys and men in their spaces

Who does it benefit.?
Really?

Oops sorry, @ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings I didn't mean you, I meant the poster who said that ridiculous nonsense about our toilets at home. The quote function is a little confusing at times! [embarrassed]

That should be

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

God the "doN'T YoU HavE UNiseX ToiLeTs aT HOme?" thing is such a weak take. It's obvious what the difference between a private single home toilet and a shared public toilet block is, and what the difference between the few males you've chosen to live with and multiple male strangers is, so either put your money where your mouth is and open your home toilet up to public use, or fuck off and stop being so disingenuous. Honestly, how people can be so intellectually dishonest is beyond me. Aren't you embarrassed? Because I'm embarrassed for you.

I bloody love this post and the poster. xx

Tell her not to worry and get on with it is all very well. My dd was followed into the loo in reception Year by a little boy in her class who touched her bottom. She’s still (now year 2) very nervous to use the cubicles at school (they’re stalls not separate rooms), and has had multiple urine infections as a result of trying to hold her wee too much. We’ve tried to help her get past what happened - it wasn’t any more sinister than a little kid being nosy I think - but she feels how she feels.

@OverTheRainbow88

We have mixed sex toilets at secondary school, it’s being more and more common, I would tell her not to worry and get on with it. It’s not a big deal

You don't agree that women and children are allowed boundaries?

On a feminist board? How very something of you.

OverTheRainbow88, if telling children - and adults - not to worry and just to get over their fears and anxieties worked, we wouldn't need as many psychiatrists and mental health services generally, would we?

Why would you assume that OP hadn't already tried talking her DD out of her concerns - and failed?

I am frequently terrified by the lack of understanding people have of others lives, just use the disabled toilet, I wonder if there is a correlation between dismissal of the rights of girls and dismissal of the rights of those with disabilities.

And off topic but some of us.....gasp....live in single sex households. Take some time to recover....

I think its because it helps make girls look mean and exclusionary and to remind them their rights can be removed at any time

If they don't want boys there, they are accusing them all of being sex offenders or are hysterical and ridiculous.

If they use the disabled toilet then they arendling to disabled kids what the boys are doing to them. Excluding them from their own facilities.

Its very carefully worked to enable gorls to look like the bad guys each time just fir standing up for their legal rights.

Equally a little girl could follow another girl in and touch their bum.

Also wheelchair users always have mixed toilets.

I sometimes think adults make things into an issue for their children, I genuinely can’t see why mixed toilets is an issue for any sex.

Definitely talk to the teacher. Even if the school doesn't agree to change the setup yet, could the teacher at least ensure your DD has the chance to access the facilities when the boys aren't in there? Maybe just before the start or end of the lesson? Any decent teacher will figure something out once they are aware.

If they use the disabled toilet then they arendling to disabled kids what the boys are doing to them. Excluding them from their own facilities.

Why is a girl ok to share a toilet with a disabled boy but not a non disabled boy?

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

I think now you need to do a post for "gIrLz CoULd AsSAuLt oThEr GirLz toOoOoO"

Males are responsible for 98 percent of sexual crimes against women amd girls.

Opening toilets girls use up to males is a massive increased risk.

Accessible toilets are single occupancy fully enclosed units

But yes I expect it is still a huge worry of disabled peope that they will get pushed inside akd assaulted.

Neither is an excuse to forget safguarding so you can appear woke

@OverTheRainbow88

We have mixed sex toilets at secondary school, it’s being more and more common, I would tell her not to worry and get on with it. It’s not a big deal

Just fuck off.

@Sexnotgender

No I won’t fuck off, this is an open public forum; I’m equally entitled to express my opinion as you are. And fuck off is a pathetic response.

All I am saying is it is becoming more common in schools, where safeguarding is paramount, girls are more at physical risk holding in their wee all day than they are using a mixed toilet.

Schools have allowed themselves to be trained by lobby groups safeguarding has been thrown out the window fir certificates. Let's not pretend it suddenly means its ok.

Oh akd 2/3 of girls have suffered sexual harassment either on the way to or at school.

Safe my arse...

.... girls are more at physical risk holding in their wee all day than they are using a mixed toilet...

And yet girls are choosing to do exactly that. Try and imagine why that is.

Go on, give it your best shot.

Get on with it, no big deal = Telling girls their feelings don't matter, put up and shut up. Be nice, be quiet, be kind. There's a good compliant girl.

FTFOAFOSM

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings 👍

Equally a little girl could follow another girl in and touch their bum.

That's telling girls "well, girls do it too, get over it"

Really? This is where you want to go?

Just no.

These girls? you mean the ones going to secondary schools wehere sexual harrassment is normal? where 37% of secondary school age girls have been sexually harrassed? 24% have been subjected to unwanted physical touching

www.tes.com/news/sexual-harassment-normal-schools-warns-report

deary me.....

And actually no, a little girl couldn’t ‘equally’ follow her in and touch her bum,

Unless of course you’re suggesting that males and females are suddenly offending at equal rates and if that’s the case I’d love to see your evidence.

I’ll wait. Until then yes dear you can fuck off.

It’s not a big deal

It clearly is to this girl.
Single sex provisions are important to maintain safeguarding, dignity and privacy.
Time and time again women and girls are told to "get over it" to allow males to do as they please.

The only kind of mixed sex loo that's lawful is fully enclosed with a basin inside, though Dh said the basin can legally be outside in a shared room.

I pointed out that's no good for strict Muslims or a woman washing blood of her hands and he just said "oh. Right. Fuck."

The guidance is clear for schools though so much of the debate is irrelevant, Covid restrictions however have caused issues as bubbles must be assigned a loo.

We've even got specific loos for staff in certain bubbles incase we become ill and it needs a deep clean.

(Is it worth also pointing out here that architecture is one of the most heavily male dominated professions? Imo many loos aren't fit for female purposes.)