Pronouns at work - where do I stand? Advice

[Slurpy]

I was all in tizz yesterday, but I've woken up furious this morning.

A couple of weeks ago, an email came round saying a sub-group was inviting us to add pronouns to our display name (not even signature) but that it was supported by management, but not mandated. A few people did it, fine.

Yesterday I sat through two meeting where we were asked to have a real think about it, that it would be great if we all chose to do it... support trans colleagues, make it easier for people unfamiliar with our names to refer to us properly.

It's being presented as a neutral thing to do, the kind thing to do, a supportive thing to do. There seems to be no recognition that there might be another viewpoint on this.

I don't want to do it. But the strong (but not mandated) position is going to mark me out as pRoBLemAtic and I'm not happy about that either.

The timing was super insensitive, with Self ID on the table and certain hashtags trending.

Has anyone fought this off?

FannyCann
We now have a new edict in the radiology department: for the avoidance of doubt it is now necessary to ask ALL male patients age 12 - 55 if they are pregnant prior to an X-ray

OMG - can you imagine asking every boy and man that ? You'll look so stupid and they'll assume you haven't a clue about anything

Of DS (16 year old) came out of a consultancy room and told me that he’d been asked if he was pregnant I’d drag him out of there pdq.

I've added Mrs to my email signature at work. If anyone asks I shall ask them "What do you think?" My name is a female name.

@persistentwoman

FannyCann We now have a new edict in the radiology department: for the avoidance of doubt it is now necessary to ask ALL male patients age 12 - 55 if they are pregnant prior to an X-ray

OMG - can you imagine asking every boy and man that ? You'll look so stupid and they'll assume you haven't a clue about anything

The concept of inclusiveness that is now being used (from queer theory, intended to destabilise the system and succeeding!) is an extremely weird one as it requires that 99% of people and how they might feel is simply ignored for the sake of converting everything into terms which perfectly match the desires of the remaining one percent.

It's based on the assumption that no burden on that majority should be regarded as unreasonable, ever, and that the proposed changes would not invalidate their gender identities, say.

I can't think of any other contexts where this type of inclusiveness is demanded and pushed by those who wish to be kind.

We now have a new edict in the radiology department: for the avoidance of doubt it is now necessary to ask ALL male patients age 12 - 55 if they are pregnant prior to an X-ray

Surely the effect of asking such a question will be to seriously diminish patient confidence that health care professionals have more knowledge of human biology than does an alien who has just arrived on this planet?

I wouldn't do the "I feel triggered" sort of replies. I understand the rationale - you're implicitly saying "why don't you think about my feelings for a change?" but I wouldn't want to make myself look vulnerable.

Mind, that is just me. I had major mental health problems when I was younger and they involved an awful lot of me completely losing it at work etc & doing a lot of crying. So now that I'm out of that (having a baby sorted my head out, despite the dogma that one's identity isn't rooted in the body) I'd resist having to present myself in that sort of way. I do think this "pronouns" business is on a par with getting people to say whether they're Catholic or Protestant.

I worked for a very forward thinking organisation. No one told us to but people started doing it about a year ago. My gut reaction was a. I don't want to, I reserve the right to choose (very few things in my life) and that is my choice b. It is very tokenistic. Later I softened in my view, it is a 'show of solidarity' I guess.

I hadn't really thought about the whole gender reveal but I have an obviously 'female' name. I guess there is nothing to stop you using 'they' as your pronoun, though technically grammatically incorrect and suggests gender is undecided.

Curious to know, who strongly suggested it? Just to add, far from everyone had adopted it and as mentioned it was a very forward organisation. Gender is a protected characteristic so legally they can't force you. I left the organisation but if I was there I would only do it if I was clearly becoming the odd one out and I would think carefully about external clients.

Gender is not a protected characteristic. Sex is.

This is the problem with office jobs,

I think to turn this to a fight with your employer is a bad thing. You will lose out the most and manager won’t really care. Better to just say doesn’t work for me. Don’t start talking about yoga principles and all that stuff.

Gah. Gender is not a protected characteristic.

@GCAcademic thank you for the correction, minefield!

@eurochick tell someone what is right not just what is wrong

I’ve planned what I think I will say if this happens at work. I would say “no”. End of. Reasons are nobody else’s business but mine. What could possibly come of it?

Just to add, far from everyone had adopted it and as mentioned it was a very forward organisation. Gender is a protected characteristic so legally they can't force you.

There’s nothing forward about ‘gender’, which is sexist bollocks. Any company that introduces pronouns is essentially telling you that you belong in a sexist stereotype. It’s also been proven that women are treated as being less capable than men, in many organisations and in society. As the bullying off women across the internet has proven, in the name of ‘gender’, women still get bullied and harassed. I’m glad you’ve been corrected about that nonsense of ‘gender’ being a protected characteristic.

I left the organisation but if I was there I would only do it if I was clearly becoming the odd one out and I would think carefully about external clients.

If I was a client and though this was what a company thought was ‘forward thinking’, I’d be very reluctant to do business with them. That kind of ‘forward thinking’ has worked well for The Body Shop, hasn’t it?

Gender isn’t a protected anything - in law. It is the sacred cow though (not law).

If a company doesn’t treat everyone the same on the basis of sex (and there are still today cases where women are being paid less than men for comparable work) then why should making everyone state gender make a dot of difference?

Then the question is, state your gender - then what? How will that change things? What do you want on this basis?