“Vulva owner“

[Kit19]

I’m just going to go & scream into a void somewhere

It took me a while to see the word MEN as I was scanning and missed it. It’s in the clicky link at the beginning of the article.

Tanya shows fuck all understanding of what it is to be a woman. The language used is so derogatory. That paragraph about “vulva owners” could be describing a fridge breaking down. The contempt is palpable.

It's misleading too. She is trying to talk about some men being crap at sex because they don't know their way around a woman's body (or don't care about her pleasure). It is obvious that she is trying to write about men not satisfying women being a common problem.

Yet she mangles language so that it could mean lesbians cannot satisfy nanny goats sexually, which drives the nanny goat to avoid sex with the lesbian so the lesbian starts going to hookers for sex.

FFS.

I could have crawled under the table and curled up into a ball when I read
And, if the relationship involves a vulva owner, there is little understanding of the arousal systems of the vulva owner and very little knowledge of how that person experiences pleasure during sex. That can lead to the vulva owner becoming disinterested in sex that is not pleasurable or uncomfortable.

Bad enough reading about a "vulva owner" (where do you buy one? does it need a licence? do you have to feed it and take it for walks?). But the whole thing reads as if spewed out by a badly programmed machine.
And on the ABC. What a sad decline.

Instead, I decided to think it's a deliberate spoof. Or possibly a subliminal advert for clunky Swedish cars.

How degrading

Revolting and dehumanising. The only way I will agree to this kind of language is if we begin to refer to men as scrotum-havers and penis-owners. It will be a cold day in hell before the men of this patriarchal world will accept being dehumanised in this way so I think I'm safe for now.

It's interesting how so-called feminists are now choosing to be oblivious to the millennia of women's bodies being treated as Other and taboo in order to accommodate a tiny number of trans people. Women's bodies have been so taboo for so long that we spend most of our lives being treated like 'hommes manqués' as the French feminists put it rather than having valid bodies in our own right. And now we're supposed to take away the basic words that describe us - woman, female - to use 'vulva-owners' and 'menstruators'? Ugh.

i prefer an old saab.
bit of a classic now.

FFS. Some people write total shite, don't they?
Clinical and somatic sexologist and relationship counsellor. By gum.
I'm unimpressed.

That can lead to the volvo owner becoming disinterested in sex that is not pleasurable or uncomfortable. Fixed it. That's better.

There are performance problems with the S60, I hear, Tanya.
The ETM gets blocked with a carbon build up, so best avoid going out dogging in one's best white frock.

does one 'own' a vulva (or any other body part) - the word owner generally refers to ownership of property (!) or something like a dog - not something that is part of you.
Just an offensive concept all round really. I'm not sure that taking counselling from her would be very helpful - you'd spend the whole time policing your language.

it could mean lesbians cannot satisfy nanny goats sexually, which drives the nanny goat to avoid sex with the lesbian so the lesbian starts going to hookers for sex.

Bwahahaha thanks for the laugh 😂

sadly she probably has managed to convince herself that women are just as likely to want to use a sex worker except for being repressed or “Sex negative” or whatever.

You can "own" false teeth.
My own gran used to take them out of a night, and keep hers in a glass jar next to her bed.
Just sayin...

I don’t own my vulva, my vulva owns me.

@thinkingaboutLangCleg

I could have crawled under the table and curled up into a ball when I read And, if the relationship involves a vulva owner, there is little understanding of the arousal systems of the vulva owner and very little knowledge of how that person experiences pleasure during sex. That can lead to the vulva owner becoming disinterested in sex that is not pleasurable or uncomfortable.

Bad enough reading about a "vulva owner" (where do you buy one? does it need a licence? do you have to feed it and take it for walks?). But the whole thing reads as if spewed out by a badly programmed machine.
And on the ABC. What a sad decline.

Instead, I decided to think it's a deliberate spoof. Or possibly a subliminal advert for clunky Swedish cars.

I believe you can adopt abandoned ones from the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Vulvas but they have to check your house to make sure it’s a safe environment. You have to feed them and stop them getting sick and most of them don’t need a walk but do enjoy being played with.

I have known men who thought they owned my vulva not me.

TorkTork
The man in a dress, who wrote this article thought the same thing.

Beyond the ridiculously objectifying/dehumanising language...

Isn't there an issue with the assumption that "vulva owners" (I imagine this is meant to involve both biological females with intact genitals, and the happy new owners of a man-made vulva) experience sex (and sexual dissatisfaction with clueless partners) exactly the same way?

No offense meant to "man-made vulvas", but it's hard to believe they work exactly the same as "bio vulvas" (if only because different surgeons use different techniques. And also because they don't contain the exact same parts, e.g. the man-made version can't self-lubricate), and putting them all in the same bag doesn't sound very helpful.

I honestly believing that erasing the anatomic specificities of trans body is actually harmful to trans people themselves.

There's a lot wrong with this article beyond "vulva owners".
I'm a lot more offended that when "people" (gender not specified but we all know 99% have penises) use sex workers it's because they are shut down and misunderstood by "partners" (vulva owners).
Frequently there is shame when it comes to asking for what they want. Fear of being ridiculed or judged sits deep in the heart of shame.

Indulge "people's" fantasies or they have every right to pay sex workers instead.

Fuck that. Its totally offensive. I say this as someone who's husband did use sexworkers because I "didn't meet his needs" rather than be open with me that he couldn't give up his fetish before we married and had children.

God it makes me SO ANGRY

And, if the relationship involves a vulva owner, there is little understanding of the arousal systems of the vulva owner and very little knowledge of how that person experiences pleasure during sex.

That can lead to the vulva owner becoming disinterested in sex that is not pleasurable or uncomfortable.

The person who wrote this tosh is a sexologist and relationship counsellor Heaven help any poor woman who turns up in her office.
I notice on the relationships threads that women are often disuaded from going to relationship counsellors for various reasons and with this kind of attitude I can see why.

"vulva owner"! Please... Mine owns me at the moment. Swollen to buggery in late pregnancy.

Fuckwits.

They're boxy but they're good.

TRAs: stop reducing women to their biology.

Also TRAs: vulva owning cervix having menstruators.

Trans logic is logic
Trans logic is logic
Trans logic is logic

@TorkTorkBam
Yet she mangles language so that it could mean lesbians cannot satisfy nanny goats sexually, which drives the nanny goat to avoid sex with the lesbian so the lesbian starts going to hookers for sex.

That's a sentence you don't hear very often.

TRAs: stop reducing women to their biology.

Also TRAs: vulva owning cervix having menstruators

So many plot holes in the logic. Hasn't been very well thought through, has it?

If I owned my vulva (and reproductive system in general) I’d be taking it back to the shop for a refund. Thrush, UTI, painful and heavy periods, ovarian pain.

FFS. I am a woman, stop reducing me to my biology.

'A caution: it is not OK to unilaterally shut down your partner's sex life if you have not been feeling like sex'

This means that you are WRONG and doing wrong to your partner if you expect fidelity. If you don't feel like sex, you can't expect him not to have sex with someone else. Men have the right to sex. They're not allowed to rape their wives any more, but you sure as hell shouldn't expect them to wait till you feel like it.

We don’t need terms like transwoman or transman any more we are all penis or vulva owners now. Inclusivity, bigots!