Breastfeeding week

[breastfeedingweek]

There are really no words

@merrymouse

I agree. It's been done clumsily but I'll guess that there's some evidence that suggests that some women feel unsupported in choosing to breastfeed, and a campaign to get dads on board would be helpful.

I understand that, but I still think that honesty is important. Practically I found breast feeding very easy, but I still found it mentally and emotionally exhausting, and it wasn't all lovely. I threw away the book that went on and on about how wonderful breastfeeding was - as in threw it in the bin so that nobody else would have to read it.

I think the audience for that advert are men, and men who won't have experience of women around them breastfeeding at that, e.g. the women in their family historically didn't.

I'd also have a hunch that there will be a particular group of women for whom breastfeeding doesn't socially feel like an option (and whose own mother's didn't) , very few of their peers may be breastfeeding, and this campaign is designed to help by getting the dad's on board too.

I doubt it's intended for women who might be socially expected to BF, for whom it represents more pressure.

Sorry about your experience anIckabog :( actually my main issue with Lewis' story is the suggestion that the father has any part in deciding whether or not to breastfeed. That is ENTIRELY the mother's decision and it's harmful to suggest otherwise. My SIL really struggled with bfing in the early days and my DB kept going on about how they'd researched it and there was an increased risk of SIDS from formula. Made me extremely uncomfortable that, probably without meaning to, he was effectively saying "if you stop breastfeeding and our baby dies, that'll be your fault".

And now there's Gavin as well!

Gavins "own personal breastfeeding story"

Surely they're just trolling at this point?

It looks like there's now a few women pointing out how ridiculous it is on their posts

it's been done clumsily but I'll guess that there's some evidence that suggests that some women feel unsupported in choosing to breastfeed, and a campaign to get dads on board would be helpful.

The issue in my eyes is the eradication of womens voices in the conversation. I do think the support of a partner is really important, and it's something that men probably don't talk about much; but they still don't have their own breastfeeding journey, and it would be valuable to hear how their support helped.

I'm amazed the comms team hasn't uploaded any of their mother case studies since the criticism started (several hours ago now). Makes me suspect they don't have any signed off and ready to go which would be an astonishing omission.

I doubt it's intended for women who might be socially expected to BF, for whom it represents more pressure.

I wasn’t exhausted because I felt pressure to breast feed. It was exhausting because a small human depends on you for food 24/7, and having made the decision to breastfeed you are usually advised that the baby must breast feed exclusively (ie no bottles) for the first 6 weeks.

Pretending that this is easy is like pretending that a marathon is just a bit of a jog.

Yep, even breastfeeding is all about men now.

If men are really going to support their partners they need to know that breastfeeding is hard - otherwise it’s like telling a 1950’s man that he should allow his wife to have a job because she can easily catch up on all the housework/shopping/cooking when she gets home.

Telling a man that a breastfeeding baby won’t interrupt his sleep is particularly dodgy, because then what is his partner doing wrong when the baby inevitably doesn’t sleep?

@Collidascope

"both my wife and I decided she would give breastfeeding a go..." "We were more determined to persevere..."

Fuck off, Lewis.

Indeed. ,

I decided (was guilt- tripped into it by midwife and health visitor) to bf.

I decided to stop (grow a backbone and preserve my sanity)

My husband's opinion was neither sought nor proffered on either decision.

@Spam88

Sorry about your experience anIckabog :( actually my main issue with Lewis' story is the suggestion that the father has any part in deciding whether or not to breastfeed. That is ENTIRELY the mother's decision and it's harmful to suggest otherwise. My SIL really struggled with bfing in the early days and my DB kept going on about how they'd researched it and there was an increased risk of SIDS from formula. Made me extremely uncomfortable that, probably without meaning to, he was effectively saying "if you stop breastfeeding and our baby dies, that'll be your fault".

Exactly. It is entirely the mother's decision.

@breastfeedingweek

Just spotted them

Oh fuck off both of them. This might possibly be the first time on MN I have said that.

.And instead of saying "one bottle of formula won't hurt" which often leads to many more bottles of formula, they should be asking what they can do to support their partners and make breastfeeding easier

Because the reality and the answer to your question is "very little to nothing" Lord knows what this "support" is- given men don't lactate.

This might be due to the inability to breastfeed partially or exclusively (very small percentage), but a higher percentage is that most people who stop just don't feel like they had the right support at the right time

I profoundly disagree with what you have said. Even if what you say were true it's a woman's right and her sole decision to stop

Someone mentioned the magical health giving properties. I'm very sceptical that all being equal with healthy, non- smoking parents who understand baby and child care that it makes much difference

It’s crap that stuff written for the dads doesn’t emphasise that whatever she chooses needs to be what her partner supports.

I used to get pissed off with our local areas attempts to bribe Dads to bring their kids in (though I guess they had probably tried all other routes unsuccessfully).
Our children’s centre used to advertise catered sessions specifically for dads (a cooked breakfast I think it was) with obviously zip for every other session which was almost exclusively attended by mums 🙄

With my midwife and lactation consultant hat on, I think this is really admirable. We have lots of research to suggest that if women aren't supported, they are much less likely to be successful at reaching their BF goals. There can sometimes be a lot of pressure from dads/mothers etc to "just give the baby a bottle" etc etc. and it grinds women down.

With my feminist hat on, it is bizarre and somewhat offensive that for WBW they have focused entirely on men's experiences of BF

for some reason it feels even worse than "we're pregnant," which also grates on my ears.

The second two are ok but that first one is just annoying.
As a side note, I’d recommend cooled cabbage leaves to anyone getting pain if they are breastfeeding now!

I think cabbage leaves can reduce supply? So only recommended for engorgement when your milk comes in if you're not breastfeeding.

I imagine it can also grind women down when they're shoved into BF by their partners, and fed the guilt trip if they dare stop. It's great that it has been identified that support and understanding from a partner is important, but the way they've done it seems odd.

My OH loves the fact I breastfeed - it means he can go to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and wake up when his alarm goes off What I would give for more than three hours sleep at a stretch!!

Also, he can claim the baby is hungry when he wants a rest.

So yeah, a lot of men probably think it's great their partners breastfeed!!

My dad said ‘ youre not going to be one of those women who breastfeed everywhere are you*

By the time the baby was born he was kissing him on the forehead...

WHEN HE WAS STILL LATCHED ON TO MY BOOB

Now THAT was uncomfortable

Eurgh. A man, talking about breastfeeding and tossing around misinformation about sleep, colds and ezcema doesn't help.

We disagreed about how much bf was important, and he felt at times that I had made a unilateral decision that was not up for negotiation

I think I prefer the wokey men in the promo then rather than your partner. Perhaps he could have thought about his baby’s needs rather than prioritising ‘choice‘.