Raising a theybie

[HDDD]

A theybie? A theybie?
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/08/parent-raising-gender-free-child

Realitybased I wasn't allowed one. But was possibly a bit old, and had loads of pets anyway!

My analogy was that how you treated it impacted it's progress.

Yes in an ideal world, gender wouldn't exist. But it does and it's not terrible to allow boys and girls to enjoy gender stereotypes associated with their sex, as they're going to have to navigate this world.

But, to encourage and allow other views and options is an absolute must to make sure we don't close down their options in life or make them feel guilty for their personality.

They're just taking the tamigotchi thing a bit too far. It's like the gender version of being wrapped up in cotton wool pfb imho.

Raising young kids knowing their sex but without immersing them in gender stereotypes sounds good in theory. But those parents who think their kids can 'choose their gender' later - no they can't! Your sex is fixed. Gender is society's attitude towards that sex.

Sea is three right now so won't really care about gender.

What happens when this child goes to school and sees the world is split into male and female?

What happens when the child reaches puberty? They will need to deal with having a sexed body then.

Another tale of a non-binary or transman parent with facial hair who's bringing up a child.

If this becomes a template and girls with uncertain identities end up receiving very early puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones, will end of these, when they grow up to be transmen, be capable of conceiving and carrying to term?

Okay, sorry, definitely not looking to offend but ...

If this becomes a template and girls with uncertain identities end up receiving very early puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones [...]

Genuinely naive here: I would have reckoned that, after a certain period on x-sex hormones you'd stop ovulating and hence become unable tonget pregnant.

If you went off your meds, would you still be growing a beard, though?

Again, sorry, not looking to be goady. I just read this and it didn't ... make sense?

Ginger, that's the issue. Yes we'd love a world where gender doesn't exist but certainly sex would have to be recognised.

Stereotypes are unfortunately a very human trait developed when we are very young to help us categorise the world.

Unfortunately gender stereotypes are completely out of control and people do treat children differently according to their sex as described in the article.
^
That's^ what we / they need to be pushing back against.

Why does non binary so often equal the male default?

Who knew I am raising a theybie too. I use gender based pronouns but they can be whoever they want. Is that unusual. I do see the appeal of not telling anyone your baby’s sex so no one can make assumptions.

@StripeyBananas

Well ,the parent must have taken hormones to get that beard and "dresses like a man" so aren't they ( she) reinforcing gender stereotypes?

Exactly. And as it states the child is riding a pink bike then I’m guessing they were born a boy. So progressive

I really don't know what they'll do to explain to the child why Kate in their class is a girl and Tom is a boy. They can't make it about genitals, or the kid will crack the code straight away and just say: "so I'm a boy?" They can't make out it's because Kate likes pink because there will be a few girls bucking the trend for whichever stereotype they pick.

I genuinely don't see how this plays out past the pre-school years where you choose all their friends and associates. Does anyone know anybody doing this past age 6/7? Do the kids genuinely feel their classmates are cliches?

I was just thinking of things you tell children about their sex when they're growing up and I don't like to get into discussing children's genital development on MN because I'm very well aware it's used by a load of paedo blokes for wank fodder.

It’s all a bit Nathan Barley, yeah?

I just rolled my eyes so hard it hurt.

I often feel that these children are going to be huge disappointments to their parents if they grow up wanting to conform to their gender stereotypes

It's all so much conscious dressing up though, what with the mum's facial hair that needed cross sex hormones and the son plonked into a frilly dress for the cameras with no choice

For someone who doesn’t want their child’s gender/sex revealed they are going out of their way to tell the world that they have a boy.

@RealityBased

Okay, sorry, definitely not looking to offend but ...

If this becomes a template and girls with uncertain identities end up receiving very early puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones [...]

Genuinely naive here: I would have reckoned that, after a certain period on x-sex hormones you'd stop ovulating and hence become unable tonget pregnant.

If you went off your meds, would you still be growing a beard, though?

Again, sorry, not looking to be goady. I just read this and it didn't ... make sense?

I think we're talking about two things here. Doti is female, but is clearly taking testosterone at the moment because of the facial hair. I assume Doti stopped taking the hormones during pregnancy.

@nauticant was wondering if in future a young girl who took puberty blockers in the early teens and went onto cross-hormones at 16 would be able to become pregnant. From what I've read I think the answer is definitely not. Even if the transman doesn't have sexual reassignment surgery, a female body subjected to that hormone regime has a high cancer risk and it is expected that a hysterectomy would be necessary after a few years. This is a huge concern. How can a child who hasn't gone through puberty and therefore has an immature brain make an informed decision to do this to their body and their future?

BaronessBrighterThanYou

Christ I'm sounding like JP!

I wouldn't worry about it.

To be fair to barbara findlay none of you would castigate bell hooks for her lack of capitals (which I have to say I find very irritating)

I totally would and I do Dido. It irritates me.

Apologies Clymene - bell hooks is almost universally praised on here.

When you realise that you can in fact tell this child's sex (in an article about how he doesn't currently have one as it's a secret) purely because the chosen photos are of him in an item of clothing that is worn by the opposite sex (though I rarely see a girl in something quite so frilly) then you know there's something a bit skewed with the narrative.

Interesting point about consumerism. If a law came in tomorrow banning everyone from wearing makeup and introducing a mandatory uniform of grey tshirt and blue jeans for all, I don't think you'd ever hear of a trans person again.

This made me so angry. How can you deny a child knowledge of their own body? How can you believe that to play lego while wearing a dress you have to be a 'they'?

DD knows she's a girl because she has eggs in her tummy. She said she wanted to be a boy once, I asked why, she said because she didn't want to grow a baby. I said she didn't have to if she didn't want to. She breathed a sigh of relief and went back to her dinosaurs.

Yes, absolutely that child is male.

• photo in a dress
• pink bike
• mermaid blanket

All very stereotypically 'girly' things. It's a boy.

was wondering if in future a young girl who took puberty blockers in the early teens and went onto cross-hormones at 16 would be able to become pregnant. From what I've read I think the answer is definitely not. Even if the transman doesn't have sexual reassignment surgery, a female body subjected to that hormone regime has a high cancer risk and it is expected that a hysterectomy would be necessary after a few years. This is a huge concern. How can a child who hasn't gone through puberty and therefore has an immature brain make an informed decision to do this to their body and their future?

I’d be interested in knowing more about this, if anyone can direct to me to some useful sources. I definitely know there are adults who have been pregnant after years of taking testosterone, but given your longer post I realise you’re not contradicting this. There seems such a huge gap between both perspectives re: the clinical journey of trans youth and the potential impact of these drugs, and it’s such an important point I’d like to have a stronger understanding of it.

*The interesting bit for me is that this article is supported by Open Society Foundations (www.opensocietyfoundations.org/)

• an organisation founded by George Soros.*

This is absolutely being pushed by billionaires with an agenda.

I think this bears repeating. It emerges over and over. The message is being pushed that it is morally superior to be physically mixed up nationally, racially and even by biological sex.