Showing that feminists don't all hate heterosexual male sexuality

[IronPyrites]

OK so I am talking about consensual adult sexuality only.

I think there is a feeling, imo an incorrect one, but still a feeling, among many straight men that feminism wants to impose celibacy on all straight men, and hates and derides any expression of male sexuality.
Now, while I think this is unfounded, I wonder sometimes if there is any mileage in perhaps showing some compassion for the difficulties that many straight men encounter in their personal lives in general, and perhaps even that the pain of sexual or romantic frustration is no less real (and perhaps heightened by societal expectations of the straight male stud) for this group of people than anyone else. I have nothing but contempt for the so-called incels who clearly despise and feel entitled to women, and for men who express disdain for and behave badly to women in other ways, but I do think it may do some good to counter the message that you sometimes hear that feminism is anti-men, and showing that there is probably a societal bias against and fear of male sexuality in general. I hope you understand what I mean.

Sex drive higher in men than women;

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22552705/

Submissiveness;

journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167211430088

Theres the couple of sources from the countless studies done, although why anyone would require a source when this is generally stuff thats not disputed i dont know.

Interesting" idea that men who act respectful towards women are weak, btw.

Indeed, i would have said that was part of being competent.

Call me whatever you like (Floral usually works) but my feminism has fuck all to do with cossetting the cultural norms associated with heterosexual male sexuality. No shits wasted if any given man never has an orgasm again, actually.

How awful, what a horrible thing to say. How can anyone expect to be treat with respect with such a foul attitude towards the sex that makes up 50% of our children?
How many women go gaga over the classic "dad with new baby" type images we see every time a sleb reproduces? Everyone screes cos a man is showing tenderness to his own newborn. It's what he's supposed to do! Maybe those who like 'em dominant would prefer them to swing them by the feet into the nearest wall? Would that be assertive enough?

Competence would presumably be the most attractive quality, this shouldn't be confused with power or tyranny which ironically is a common trait with weak men.

Someone upthread, sorry I can't remember who put it best. our socialisation is damaging our deelopment and our sexuality.

I dont think our sexual nature is going to sway much because of society, after having developed over millions of years.

@Alisonjabub

Someone upthread, sorry I can't remember who put it best. our socialisation is damaging our deelopment and our sexuality.

I dont think our sexual nature is going to sway much because of society, after having developed over millions of years.

You underestimate the influence of online porn.

The western birth rate will plummet in ten years or so due to erectile dysfunction.

Can you give an example of when women have ever been controlled in terms of their dress and behaviour as ive never witnessed this?

Seriously?

You, now, in 21st century Britain, may never have had your dress and behaviours curtailed but surely you must realise that this basic right is the product of feminist actions and is relatively recent, and not universal even here and now?

The abstract on submissiveness didn't really seem to be saying it was women's preferred role, did it? And taking that role if it wasn't their preference reduced sexual satisfaction. Not sure what point you're trying to make with that one tbh. The abstract didn't explore why this happens if it's detrimental .... power imbalance is still my best guess.

The sex drive one ... yeah, men wank more often. (Personally I go for quality rather than quantity and have good impulse control)

Can you give an example of when women have ever been controlled in terms of their dress and behaviour as ive never witnessed this

umm, yeah. because things you've never personally witnessed definitely never happen. If a woman is oppressed in a forest
but Alisonjabub doesn't see it then women's oppression is down to them enjoying it and all feminists are big meanies - amirite?

check this out - it'll blow your mind

www.mystealthyfreedom.org/

why anyone would require a source when this is generally stuff thats not disputed i dont know

this is stuff that's generally disputed

fyi

you're welcome

Ok Alison here’s one for you
In our cul de sac are 3 girls of a similar age (one being mine) they have all lived here since birth and every year between the ages of 3 and 10 they have played in a paddling pool set up in the front garden. At the age of 10 2 of the girls were playing and number 3 came round to say she couldn’t join in any more as her Dad said she wasn’t allowed to wear shorts or a swimming costume in public now she was 10.
Another one, DD dumped her first boyfriend last year when he suggested she get changed as he felt her jeans were a bit tight and her top a bit revealing (they weren’t)
Just 2 of the many incidents I have witnessed or being subjected to but as long as you personally haven’t Alison then clearly it never happens

Alison: Sex drive, fine, I can accept males have a higher sex drive.

The 2nd one - I can't access it to see the refs. The study itself was apparently on outcomes of submissiveness (negative) not incidence or prevalence. Any thing more relevant?

Do I get deleted for yawning? All this talk of snail sex has exhausted me.

Bigger, I was thinking the same, tbh. Although I'm very amused at being scolded for not caring if men have any orgasms. Indeed, why would anyone respect a lesbian who didn't care about that, eh?😆

I'm very much not a lesbian but am feeling the Gillian Anderson love. obviously she was a goddess in the x files, but even though Sex Education tips over into Post Modernist tosh more often than not, I'm really enjoying her work in that

i'm not sure men's orgasms need to be on lesbians' to do list. i think that's one that it's OK to let men and their respective partners worry about

Bernard, yes, they would definitely be the ones expected to care. Though I'd hope, from a feminist perspective, that they wouldn't really be a priority, except to examine how the obsession with them leads to the oppression of women.

We could do with some nice Gillian Anderson pictures after the slimy slugs and evil koalas.

i dunno floral. i think it's a good thing to take an active interest in your partner getting sexual pleasure, even if they are a man. (i realise this sounds a little snarky, not meant to).

there's priorities and priorities aren't there? so day to day normal life, no, getting your jollies shouldn't be a priority. that leads to people wearing their rubbish fetish gear to work and photographing themselves in the loo.

but in the sack, yeah, I think it should be a priority, along with your own pleasure of course.

AGAINST COUPLING

I write in praise of the solitary act:
of not feeling a trespassing tongue
forced into one’s mouth, one’s breath
smothered, nipples crushed against the
rib-cage, and that metallic tingling
in the chin set off by a certain odd nerve:

unpleasure. Just to avoid those eyes would help-
such eyes as a young girl draws life from,
listening to the vegetal
rustle within her, as his gaze
stirs polypal fronds in the obscure
sea-bed of her body, and her own eyes blur

. There is much to be said for abandoning
this no longer novel excercise-
for now ‘participating in
a total experience’-when
one feels like the lady in Leeds who
had seenThe Sound Of Musiceighty-six times;

or more, perhaps, like the school drama mistress
producingA Midsummer Night’s Dream
for the seventh year running, with
yet another cast from 5B.
Pyramus and Thisbe are dead, but
the hole in the wall can still be troublesome.

I advise you, then, to embrace it without
encumberance. No need to set the scene,
dress up (or undress), make speeches.
Five minutes of solitude are
enough-in the bath, or to fill
that gap between the Sunday papers and lunch.

Fleur Adcock

why does nobody care about my leopard slugs and their mucus balloon

I found it strangely mesmerising and stomach churning at the same time. Good for the diet though

Bernard, in your own intimate relationship? Sure. I would say that is, in fact, the only context in which a man's orgasm is especially relevant really. But in the context of the thread, which although the OP has moved away from, then honestly, I don't really think that reassuring anyone that the sexuality of men is a concern to feminists is a thing.

Sorry, got distracted by the cat, who jumped past my head while constructing that last sentence which now doesn't make sense!

i think it's a good thing to take an active interest in your partner getting sexual pleasure, even if they are a man.

Absolutely - but my concern extends no further than to my DH. As a lesbian, Floral is entirely justified in giving no fucks in any sense for the pleasure of menfolk.

i think it's a good thing to take an active interest in your partner getting sexual pleasure, even if they are a man.

Absolutely - but my concern extends no further than to my DH. As a lesbian, Floral is entirely justified in giving no fucks in any sense for the pleasure of menfolk.

agreed regarding men's orgasms and the responsibility for them

back to GA for a moment. I rewatched all 8 original series of the x-files recently. i picked up an underlying assumption that Mulder was super hot and Scully wasn't quite in his league, and that was part of the reason for the 'will they won't they' tension

apparently after series 1 there were moves to replace GA with someone more stereotypically attractive

funny old world innit? I mean she's beautiful, right? I wonder if the attitudes were because she was carrying a bit more weight back then?