Be an ally to lesbians: stop using LGBTQ+

[Shedbuilder]

I'm a lesbian and I mentally parted company with Stonewall and began opposing it and a lot of other LGB organisations when they added the T and then the Q and then all the other identity letters to the original LGB.

LGB people are united by same-sex attraction. TQ and whatever are linked by their insistence on identity — defining themselves by feelings or whatever. LGB people are united by their experience of homophobia. Transgenderism, and its attack on sex, is inherently homophobic. The two cannot and could never exist comfortably together. As soon as Stonewall added the T to their constituency, it began working against its core community.

Stonewall and other organisations have done this by force. Uncoupling the LGB from the TQ+ is one of the most important things anyone with a GC stance can do.

Please, let us work towards making the letters LGBTQ+ a badge of ignorance and shame, not something that employers should be plastering everywhere as proof of how progressive they are.

Purple

Yep I don't like it. Just lesbian is fine for me and I (politely) correct anyone who calls me LGBTQ+

Although I like the +

Someone I know said if we have to have the rest of the letters, she's identifying as Lesbian Plus.

Yes.

Happy to, OP.

LGBT now just means T to me, and has done for some considerable time.

It makes me so angry when non lesbians claim the nhs rainbow lanyard is some oppressive trans symbol which means women cannot request to see a female in a healthcare. This is totally untrue and so damaging.

Lesbians have to put up with so much shit in healthcare. I've recently had a baby and the straight bias is everywhere. First and foremost we do not receive nhs funding for IVF where straight couples usually get 3 rounds. All the forms and paperwork refer to 'father' no option for 'donor'. Throughout my pregnancy I had many confusing conversations with midwives about my partner's blood type (obviously not relevant). Questions like 'how long did it take you to fall pregnant?'. Doctors often ask what I use for contraception.

Lesbians are constantly navigating a very straight world in healthcare. Homophobia is everywhere, just because someone is a doctor, nurse or midwife it doesn't mean they're not homophobic.

Seeing a rainbow lanyard makes me breathe a sigh of relief that the wearer could possibly appreciate my situation and will not be prejudiced. Something straight women take for granted. If you really want to be a lesbian ally then as a lesbian I would say wear those lanyards.

@SapphosRock. I’m a midwife. Our forms used to be straight biased and a lesbian couple (rightly) complained. We changed all our paperwork.

I hold my hands up to asking a lesbian woman postnatally what contraception she’d be using. I didn’t know she was gay, theres no box in the paperwork for sexual preference. . First time I’d met her and I went to discharge her. Her partner wasn’t there. When 99.9% of the women you meet through work are straight I guess you do tend to have that mindset and make assumptions.

I absolutley agree with you. In days of old, 'T' generally meant that you were also gay. I knew lots of Trans people growing up and they were ALL gay.

Nowadays, 'T' can just mean someone who enjoys dressing up in women's clothes. I'm sorry, but I do not feel that fetishism deserves to be a proected class.

@JacobReesMogadishu that's exactly what I mean.

It's confusing being asked on a healthcare form when I last had unprotected sex. Does that mean with my wife? Is that relevant? What if I have had IUI or IVF recently and could be pregnant?

It's such a straight world. I'm glad you changed the paperwork! I'm sure that helped a lot of lesbians.

Yes, kind of agree OP. I'm a lesbian and a bit miffed at being lumped in with other groups "automatically ". No problem against said groups, but might as well add S (straight) to the LGBTQ(S)+ as I'm just as "fine" with straight folk as everyone else, but don't particularly feel part of this wider community now including T.

Just LGB for me, that makes sense as a thing.

@SapphosRock. Yes, forms would just be better asking “is there any chance you could be pregnant”. Hopefully paperwork nationwide will be changed as people realise.

Sappho's Rock, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you're probably under 30, live in a city and run with a woke, self-policing crowd who have grown up with civil partnerships, consumer rights, employment rights and gay marriage all available to you. You've also grown up in a world where on paper, at least, you have what appears to be equality as a woman.

I'm your mum, possibly even your grandma. I grew up in a world where lesbian and gay teacher friends had to hide their sexuality because of Section 28. A world in which my partner and I might find ourselves legally turned away from a pub or a B+B because the proprietor didn't like the look of us. I fought for those rights on your behalf, via Stonewall. And having fought and won them for you, I'm guarding them for us both.

I don't recognise the lesbian world you describe and it's absolutely not true that 99% of lesbians support trans and transgender ideology. I can't think of a single women's or lesbian group or organisation I've been to or been involved with that hasn't been ruined, shut down, infiltrated or take over by transwomen. Everything from massive events such as Michigan Womyn's Festival to Women's Centres to the small friends-and-friends-of-friends social groups have been infiltrated by men — sometimes accompanied by their wives — passing themselves off as lesbians. I watch predatory behaviour playing out in FB groups. I see younger and more vulnerable women being gaslit.

I've been with my partner for getting on for 30 years, so I don't use online dating apps but everyone I know who does is furious at all the transwomen on the lesbian sites. Friends allow a 'nice' transwoman on a private FB group and before long it's full of men posting pictures of themselves in women's underwear and looking for sex with lesbians.

Fortunately I'm too old, and too stern and too butch for them to approach me, but I feel desolate for those young women coming out now and having to wade through all the sad lads with their long hair and M&S skirts, or dads in their wives' undies and lipstick, to find a genuine woman. I so wish younger women could have had the positive experience I had when I was their age, when I emerged into a thrilling and slightly underground world of lesbian events and groups and friends and feminist politics. When we were just lesbians and weren't expected to focus on men.

It makes me so angry when non lesbians claim the nhs rainbow lanyard is some oppressive trans symbol which means women cannot request to see a female in a healthcare. This is totally untrue and so damaging.

If you’re talking about me, I am a lesbian. Protested Section 28, even volunteered for Stonewall in the days when they gave a shit about us.

Shedbuilder nope I'm almost 40 so I've been fighting for those rights too.

I do recognise some of what you say. Yes many groups that would have been exclusively female a few years ago now seem to include trans women.

Personally I don't mind if women's groups are welcoming to trans women, but it irritates me when trans issues are being centred over women's issues.

I certainly haven't seen any trans women post pictures in their underwear.

Sophie, is that you? If it is, we both know why you're happy to include men in lesbian groups, don't we?

No I'm not Sophie but I'm intrigued about who she is and why she would be happy to welcome men into lesbian groups.

The sad truth is that for many of us now, rainbow lanyards look unfriendly. I’d be worried that an HCP in a rainbow lanyard would be unsympathetic if I wanted a smear test etc from someone of my own sex.

I am a straight woman and I also no longer trust the rainbow lanyards and internally flinch at them. Because to me, they are a symbol of "we don't care about your safety and dignity, and if you complain, you are a disgusting bigot". Not because of any homophobia.

Tbh, I have really enjoyed seeing the rainbow symbol used everywhere as a sign of hope during the pandemic. I have stopped feeling dread when I see rainbows, but I fear that will revert back to the previous situation.

Not going to provide any details that may be identifying.

I am a straight woman and I also no longer trust the rainbow lanyards and internally flinch at them.

So many straight women say this on here. So disheartening I really worry that positive attitudes towards gay equality will go backwards.

But it is everywhere - how did we get from (in a short time) Pride Marches (political, celebration, brave) to rainbow month (plus various days and the takeover of any day with ‘woman’ in the title)?

Has anyone done an in-depth study of this?

So many straight women say this on here. So dishearteningI really worry that positive attitudes towards gay equality will go backwards.

Oh don't worry about that. We now have LGB Alliance etc Sane, sensible, Out n Proud.

Thank goodness!

I really worry that positive attitudes towards gay equality will go backwards.

I can only speak for myself, but I do not associate the rainbow symbol with homosexuality at all any more. It only really symbolises transwomen for me now.

I am still fully supportive of gay equality, but see that as completely different to the "LGBTQIA+......." stuff.

What I'm trying to say, is that my reaction to the rainbow symbol does not make me any less supportive of gay rights.

it's really just common knowledge

62-year-old lesbian here, with lesbian friends ranging from late 30s to late 60s. We all feel completely the opposite to Sappho's claim and want nothing to do with Stonewall and the LGBT++++ alphabet soup which increasingly centres male fetishes above women's issues.

Fully agree.

LGB (Gay/Homosexual Rights)

TQWERTI (Other rights)