Be an ally to lesbians: stop using LGBTQ+

[Shedbuilder]

I'm a lesbian and I mentally parted company with Stonewall and began opposing it and a lot of other LGB organisations when they added the T and then the Q and then all the other identity letters to the original LGB.

LGB people are united by same-sex attraction. TQ and whatever are linked by their insistence on identity — defining themselves by feelings or whatever. LGB people are united by their experience of homophobia. Transgenderism, and its attack on sex, is inherently homophobic. The two cannot and could never exist comfortably together. As soon as Stonewall added the T to their constituency, it began working against its core community.

Stonewall and other organisations have done this by force. Uncoupling the LGB from the TQ+ is one of the most important things anyone with a GC stance can do.

Please, let us work towards making the letters LGBTQ+ a badge of ignorance and shame, not something that employers should be plastering everywhere as proof of how progressive they are.

Honestly, suggestionsplease, it's probably not the best idea to be having those sorts of conversations with minors, if you're just some random adult who happens to be part of the LGBTQ+ etc etc community.

Safeguarding. Again.

If I was to encourage a young person to talk freely and openly to me without fear of judgement and then I was in a position to say 'I think I understand what you're feeling a bit because I've felt similar at times in my life. I'm a bit concerned about you though, as surgery is very serious and it is the case that some people regret that in time and I don't want you to be in that position in the future. Have you considered....blah blah

And yet that is exactly what JKRowling said and look what a response she got, straight to the choke on my lady dick, hate crime, canceled, burn her books.

If I was to encourage a young person to talk freely and openly to me without fear of judgement and then I was in a position to say 'I think I understand what you're feeling a bit because I've felt similar at times in my life. I'm a bit concerned about you though, as surgery is very serious and it is the case that some people regret that in time and I don't want you to be in that position in the future. Have you considered....blah blah

This assumes that the forthright tone Adult feminists use when talking amongst themselves is the same tone we use when talking to our gender distressed adolescents.

Why would you make that assumption? It’s ludicrous.

Here here. Spoke to a ln older gay college about how I don't really get the whole LGBTQ movement. She was glad she met a young person who thought that. She had genuine hardship when her and her partner couldn't find a mortgage and it wasn't safe to walk down the road

If I was to encourage a young person to talk freely and openly to me without fear of judgement and then I was in a position to say 'I think I understand what you're feeling a bit because I've felt similar at times in my life. I'm a bit concerned about you though, as surgery is very serious and it is the case that some people regret that in time and I don't want you to be in that position in the future. Have you considered....blah blah

Done that, still accused of hatred by people with an axe to grind. I've been called a bad aunt on here by people who don't know either me or my niece.

Okay so we've agreed not to be so forthright with distressed teens. Is there any reason to be so partisan about how all lesbians must behave?

Transgenderism, and its attack on sex, is inherently homophobic. The two cannot and could never exist comfortably together.

This is the OP positioning her opinion as the truth and leaves no room for individuals to make their own choices.

I'm happy being part of LGBTQ thanks. If you want to do your own thing and be part of a LGB alliance then nobody is stopping you. Don't drag me along with you though.

I feel I should say upfront I'm straight but this thread was about how to be an ally so I hope I can talk a bit about that if that's ok.
The lanyard question is interesting and actually opens up a whole debate.
Like I said I'm a female healthcare professional, say I had a women's health clinic. I want to make the women I interact with feel as comfortable as possible and know they can speak freely whatever their circumstances/sexuality/relationships etc. This is not just to be nice or be kind but it's vital people feel they can trust their HCP so they can share information and get the best care.
Some lesbians find comfort in the rainbow lanyard, some find it homophobic. Same for trans people. Some women wouldn't give it a second glance, some would wonder if it meant I didn't believe in the female sex, or that they couldn't speak to me about violence or abuse if it was commited by someone the rainbow represents. Some may be afraid I wouldn't take their request for a female doctor etc seriously. I need to offer the same level of care to all these women, do I wear the lanyard?
At the moment I haven't chosen to and have a standard blue NHS one, but I feel I get away with that as it's still much more common to wear the blue one than the rainbow one - so common that it's not considered making a statement not to. But what if that changes?
I want every woman I treat whatever their sexuality or gender identity to have their specific needs acknowledged and feel safe and heard, can I do that wearing the rainbow? Can I do that if I don't?
My personal view is that some TRA are pushing for different treatment of themeselves as a group within the NHS and there are some problems with that. Safeguarding, evidence base, consent, risk of harm, affirmation of mental health issues, what sex is - these things get flipped upside down for one group - rightly or wrongly. HCPs should be neutral and trustworthy. They don't wear symbols, talk about politics, express personal views, treat people differently etc etc. I've treated rapists, paedophiles, murderers with professionalism. Same for drug addicts, homeless people, other vulnerable groups with their own unique needs, did I need a lanyard to say I would do that?
I now think it's inappropriate to wear the rainbow as I treat women as a whole, but question myself relentlessly about the lesbians that may have missed out on that 'sigh of relief' moment when they saw the lanyard. Am I denying them comfort?
My instinct is that it should be as it is for all other groups. It's not what you wear but how you treat people. The medical profession has a way to go to become less heteronormative and I think that's where the energy should be concentrated. So. Lanyards. By not wearing one or wearing one am I being a good ally? Should I even be an ally at work? Is that undermining something fundamental about the neutrality of HCP however laudable the aim? Or am is it homophobia?
I'm gender critical but would wear a lanyard if it brought people comfort as that's more important and my personal opinion has no place at work. But then would the people comforted by me wearing it feel betrayed if they knew my personal views? Am I not really what they're looking for when they look for someone with the lanyard?
This is a really difficult debate to have in real life especially as a HCP, so thank you to anyone who shares their views.

@PurpleCrowbarWhereIsLangCleg

Honestly, suggestionsplease, it's probably not the best idea to be having those sorts of conversations with minors, if you're just some random adult who happens to be part of the LGBTQ+ etc etc community.

Safeguarding. Again.

You don't know my qualifications and what I do for a living, so whilst I appreciate your concerns I can tell you they are unfounded.

This is the OP positioning her opinion as the truth and leaves no room for individuals to make their own choices.

Stonewall and other organisations have done this by force. Uncoupling the LGB from the TQ+ is one of the most important things anyone with a GC stance can do.

Shedbuilder requested support from GC people - everyone is free to offer that support or not. No demands were made of lesbians specifically, and certainly not of lesbians who do not have a ‘GC stance’.

After attending the MCR detransitioners event, I am a firm believer that current trans ideology is harmful to young lesbians (such as my stepdaughter).

so whilst I appreciate your concerns I can tell you they are unfounded

Basic tenet of safeguarding is not to take anyone’s word as proof of anything!

@BarbieandKenBruce as mentioned earlier in the thread seeing the NHS lanyard makes me breathe a sigh of relief so my opinion is to wear it with pride. I know others on the thread disagree.

Unfortunately there may always be online rhetoric and division fuelled by passionate agendas - and the targets shift over time.

I remember when bisexual women were coming under pressure on forums and having to defend themselves.

I recall when butch lesbians were coming under pressure and having to defend themselves.

They're both getting a bit of a break now thankfully and it will be interesting to see which other groups/IDs will be re-accommodated / reintegrated in time, as the ideologies and rhetoric change... and who may be next in the line of fire.

BarbieandKenBruce
You have it spot on, I think in your post.

HCPs should be neutral and trustworthy. They don't wear symbols, talk about politics, express personal views, treat people differently etc etc. I've treated rapists, paedophiles, murderers with professionalism. Same for drug addicts, homeless people, other vulnerable groups with their own unique needs, did I need a lanyard to say I would do that?

@SapphosRock Yes thank you for sharing what the lanyard meant to you during your maternity care.
Just to try and explore further, even though you acknowledge it may make others uncomfortable, as it can have such comforting effects too, you feel I should wear it with pride.
Is that because

(Sorry I pressed post too soon) you would feel actively uncomfortable if I didn't? Do you think the comfort/discomfort kind of - cancels each other out?
If we can accept that some visual symbols cause people discomfort at all, do you still feel they have a place in healthcare?

@JackiFazaki Thank you. I suppose other groups have never asked me to wear one and that's the difference.

So agree with not lumping on the T -never understood that. LGB have the common cause of same sex attraction - G has nothing to do with that.

I've treated rapists, paedophiles, murderers with professionalism

I think the difference is rapists, paedophiles, murderers and drug addicts have all made bad decisions at some point to lead them to where they are. It's great you treat them with professionalism but it's not the same as giving a nod of acknowledgment to LGBTQ people.

We are often judged in society for being ourselves so reassurance we will be treated with professionalism goes a long way.

@BarbieandKenBruce someone started a thread recently asking people to stop painting rainbows and putting them in the window as she found them triggering:

Please don't put a rainbow in your window! http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3858392-Please-dont-put-a-rainbow-in-your-window

Do I think children should stop painting rainbows to appease GC women? No

Do I think HCPs should stop wearing rainbow lanyards to appease GC women? No

If you don't feel comfortable about it then that's understandable, but I hugely appreciate it when I see them.

Do I think children should stop painting rainbows to appease GC women?

Um, it’s LGBT activists who are complaining about children painting rainbows, not ‘GC women’ (despite 🌈 and 🏳️‍🌈 being two separate symbols)

It's certainly lgbT activists who have been complaining.

Which goes back to the heart of shedbuilders OP.

Why more and more people are wanting the keep with LGB concerns and not the demands and wants of the rest of the alphabet. It's understandable.

I think the difference is rapists, paedophiles, murderers and drug addicts have all made bad decisions at some point to lead them to where they are. It's great you treat them with professionalism but it's not the same as giving a nod of acknowledgment to LGBTQ people.

Bad decisions? Rape, child abuse, murder is a bad decision?
That's the language of MAPs, of paedophiles. Sinister euphemisms.
.

Your alphabet hides criminals too, Reynhard Sinaga for instance. Why pretend otherwise?

Everything comes back to safeguarding.

JackiFazaki what on earth are you on about?

Why do LGBTQ people need a nod of acknowledgement in a medical situation? Especially when barbie has explained how medical professionals will be as impartial and objective as possible in their treatment of everyone?
Bizarre that anyone thinks they deserve to be singled out this way in a perfectly neutral environment.

You are extremely confused, Sapphos. Arguing from a place of confusion is not a good look.