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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Well, I've just come out as GC on Facebook...

233 replies

SapphireSeptember · 10/06/2020 00:15

I watched this video this evening, and decided I couldn't keep quiet anymore. So I shared it on Facebook, along with the caption 'women are women, women's rights are human rights,' and thanked JK Rowling for standing up for women.

A male friend of mine replied with 'transwomen are women' said it was a TERF-y video and asked if I'd posted it accidentally. Angry Guess he's no loss as a friend.

OP posts:
Maria53 · 10/06/2020 00:17

Grin asked if you posted it by accident - honestly!

Good for you but it's ridiculous that we can't have differing opinions now without fearing the loss of our friendships.

Lardlizard · 10/06/2020 00:22

What’s gc

LockdownLump · 10/06/2020 00:23

I want to share, but I am not on social media because I'm scared of what I would say .

I'm a fucking coward. But I work for a trade union where sexism is rife and where twaw rule the world.

I am sorry and am scared to say that women are women. Wtf is wrong with me

PheasantPlucker1 · 10/06/2020 00:25

Ask him the differenece between himself, and and a transwoman.

What does he have that a women doesnt?

Whatsnewpussyhat · 10/06/2020 00:29

Tell him his misogyny is showing.

I post some stuff on FB. Mostly get no response but I know it's read because I get told in person. I have been blocked by one person. Still friend but I know she blocked my posts from her wall. She's one of the smartest people I know but very much thinks trans are the most oppressed ever. It's completely out of character and I suspect she's protecting someone young in her family from my views. She's also the biggest Harry Potter fan. Grin

SapphireSeptember · 10/06/2020 00:30

@Maria53 Absolutely! I still feel a bit jittery but I need to be braver about it. A female friend of mine calling JKR an 'transphobic bitch' was nearly the last straw, that video was the last one, it made me cry and I just thought, 'that's it, I'm done.'

@Lardlizard GC= Gender Critical. Or as I like to think of it, rational.

OP posts:
ShinyFootball · 10/06/2020 00:32

Good luck, and well done. I wish I was as brave as you :)

testing987654321 · 10/06/2020 00:33

Well done!! I think I lost one or two people but have also had useful conversations.

NonnyMouse1337 · 10/06/2020 00:35

Don't be too hard on yourself, LockdownLump. A lot of us have to think about our jobs or the jobs of our partners and stay quiet or avoid getting dragged into any discussions.

We all do what we can. There are more tangible ways to help instead of social media posts - donating to crowdfunders, signing petitions, emailing politicians, examining public policies and other material for gender ideology and bringing them to wider notice, maybe even placing a cheeky sticker in certain locations, filling in consultations, speaking to close family and friends in person - like raising questions and doubts without sounding preachy or accusatory, and so on.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 10/06/2020 00:36

Iam sorry and am scared to say that women are women. Wtf is wrong with me

Nothing, and not cowardly to protect yourself. My work is stonewalled. I bite my tongue. I need my job. Too many quick to point the finger at the witches.

Somethingkindaoooo · 10/06/2020 00:37

A male friend of mine replied with 'transwomen are women' said it was a TERF-y video and asked if I'd posted it accidentally
Bless. Like you couldn't work out the internet....

AtrociousCircumstance · 10/06/2020 00:39

Can you summarise the video? I don’t want to watch it. I can’t mix any more fury into my feelings about this, not today. I’m too angry about it all and I’m too scared to come out as GC on social media.

If I voiced GC ideas at my workplace I’d be fired.

When I read your thread title I inwardly flinched - it’s so what I want to do but I’m not brave enough. Yet.

Destroyedpeople · 10/06/2020 00:40

I got called a 'cockroach' fir saying the same thing on fb. .....
Don't let it upset you. Is he really a 'friend?

testing987654321 · 10/06/2020 00:44

For those who don't feel they can be put at work you can still write to your local MP. Tell them your concerns. The bigger the mailbag they get on this the more likely they are to challenge legislation proposed.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 10/06/2020 00:45

Good for you. I work in a school and we’ve been warned our sm has to be squeaky clean. Crazy to think stating biological facts can be seen as offensive.

SapphireSeptember · 10/06/2020 00:57

@LockdownLump Honestly, it's taken me YEARS to get to this point.
@NonnyMouse1337 has some good ideas, (I've had some interesting conversations at work about this.) I don't post much on FB that isn't music related.

@AtrociousCircumstance Daniel Radcliffe stuck the knife into JKR and trotted out the 'transwomen are women' mantra. Kellie-Jay was talking about the things that happen to women and girls on a daily basis and was visibly upset. She was asking people to not stay quiet about it anymore. Please don't get fired, I understand that fear.

@Somethingkindaoooo Lol. Grin

Thank you for all your support. Smile I await the morning with glee, one of my female friends was ranting about JKR the other day, so I don't think she'll be pleased with me. Oh well.

OP posts:
Jintyfer · 10/06/2020 00:57

Me too Saphire!! Well done, I know it takes guts.

I did it on Monday night by sharing my disgust at the rape and death threats JKR was getting. I just can't keep quiet when I see injustice and, well, the JKR stuff tipped me over the edge.

BUT I created a "restricted list" so I could hide it from certain people. I went through my whole friends list (about 600) and added them one by one to the list, work related people and some others I just couldn't absolutely trust not to call me a bigot. Took ages but it was worth it, and gave me the confidence to post.

AND it started a really good discussion. Most people said nothing, but that's ok.

THEN I posted Posie's Daniel RATcliffe Video today.

I've found it empowering. 💪

BaronessFloralBunting · 10/06/2020 00:58

Atrocious, if you're already angry, dont watch it today, but in summary, it's Posie Parker blisteringly angry, taking apart Daniel Radcliffe's despicable, arrogant apology for JK Rowling's tweets. It's incredibly moving, too, she's in tears for some of it. I recommend watching it but only if you can afford to be bouncing off the walls cross for a bit afterwards. Cathartic is the word I have seen used most.

How any fucking idiot man can watch it and thing it's appropriate to call a woman names afterwards, I don't know. Well, I do, it's the stench of woman-hatred. Don't worry OP. You lose nothing when you lose men like that from your life.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 10/06/2020 00:59

Tricky times for biology teachers then Oh

asked if I'd posted it accidentally
Arrgghhh! Angry

MrsPeacockInTheLibrary · 10/06/2020 01:04

I'm very interested in this - thank you for sharing your experience and the video.

I teach trans students who I have kind, supportive relationships with. It kills me to have to be silent about being GC at work when I advocate many things - racism awareness, LGBT, feminism, human rights through a campaign/ debating group we run.

I was also part of a HP group that is avidly JKR terf/ we see you/ death of the author - but I have never said anything there. Maybe that's where I should post all the stuff I've held back and then just quit in a rage. But I would not want to cause distress etc to vulnerable people - like my students - three females who now identify as male and have new names and pronouns. My job and relationships take priority - but it's why it's so good to see other voices on here.

Katypyee · 10/06/2020 01:04

Trans women ARE women!

BaronessFloralBunting · 10/06/2020 01:08

Nope. TWAM.

Women are women. Women and girls matter.

MrsPeacockInTheLibrary · 10/06/2020 01:08

@Katypyee

Trans women ARE women!
OK, I'll bite. Without reference to gender stereotypical roles - how are they women?
spongedog · 10/06/2020 01:08

I work in a school. But will no longer be silent on GC matters.

I am concerned about the number of women who will not speak out. Who do you think is speaking out?

Clue: it wont be men. It probably wont be young women. It wont be older women (perhaps retired) who dont really use social media. So that leaves women aged between 30-60 to be speaking up about our rights, our experiences, our lives and the impact this nonsense is having on our lives and that of our families and friends.

The more of us who do speak out, consistently, politely, but all the time - the more likely it is that things will change. Relying on others to do your work for you will not move this along.

BaronessFloralBunting · 10/06/2020 01:17

Bang on. And courage really does call to courage. The more I have spoken up, the more I have seen friends begin to realize that they can too, and the more we do, the more we understand that fear is the only thing keeping us down. The more we grasp that, the less oppression can keep a grip on us. Women really do matter. You're not second class, you're not the support humans, your lives and experiences count and you can make things better for all women globally and in the generations to come, and you are not alone.

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