Sophie Beresiner - The Times - Baby Born from Surrogate Mother

[OhHolyJesus]

Sophie writes about the birth of the baby girl she had through surrogacy. I've been reading her column as my interest in surrogacy has grown and whilst the paper gave space to Rebecca's story, the surrogate mother, I want to remember the women who went before her, both in terms of egg donors and pregnancy attempts. I hope they are all well and not suffering in any way, wherever they are.

I thought this an odd comment:

"I, for some mad reason, kick into vanity mode and set about styling my hair and worrying that I didn’t choose the right outfit. It was difficult because it had some strict requirements: it had to be comfortable, be openable at the front for skin-to-skin contact, be cheap in case it gets birth-goo on it, be amazing because I need to make a good very first impression. The best first impression there ever was. No pressure."

And this, from Rebecca:

"Sophie makes me sound like a perfect angel in the column, which I’m really not; I’m just normal. And I’m so happy I could give her story a happy ending. I’m not sure I’m ready to use the word proud out loud yet, but I’m working on it."

I wonder at Rebecca's motivation, underneath all the usual "I want to help" stuff.

At a time of a global pandemic and immense pressure on the NHS, including maternity services, a room was made available for Sophie to stay with the baby overnight, away from Rebecca.

Sophie clearly adores Rebecca so I wonder how much she paid her and whether, as the newborn cloud descends whether they will stay in touch and whether Sophie will be hiring Rebecca again for her reproductive services in the future.

Here is a copy of an email I received from the Law Commission in March for you Dozer.

An ongoing consultation with plans to formulate final policy to recommend to government.
I sincerely hope government will not uncritically accept the recommendations.

We are getting in touch because you responded to the Law Commission of England and Wales and the Scottish Law Commission consultation on Building Families Through Surrogacy: A New Law. We are writing to give you an update on the project.

We had a large response to our consultation and are very grateful for the extent to which a wide range of stakeholders have engaged with us on these important issues. We are analysing those responses carefully and continuing to engage with stakeholders about the views they have expressed. We are also carefully monitoring the evolving case law around parenthood and birth registration.

After we have completed our analysis we will move to formulating final policy and finalising the detail of the scheme that we will recommend to Government. We will also be working with Parliamentary drafters to produce a bill. In light of the extent of stakeholder interest and the evolving case law, we anticipate that the project will run longer than previously planned, until early 2022.

Thank you for your interest in the project. Please refer to the project websites for the latest information and updates:
https://www.lawcom.gov.uk/project/surrogacy//_
https://www.scotlawcom.gov.uk/law-reform/law-reform-projects/joint-projects/surrogacy//_

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Law Commission - Comisiwn y Gyfraith
Property, Family and Trusts Law Team
Tîm Cyfraith Eiddo, Teulu ac Ymddiriedolaethau
1st Floor, Tower, Post Point 1.53, 52 Queen Anne’s Gate, London SW1H 9AG
(access via 102 Petty France)
Web: www.lawcom.gov.ukk_

Remember the recommendations include erasing the rights of birth mothers by making commissioning parents he legal parents of the baby at birth. This is in direct contravention of the recommendations of the United Nations Special Rapporteur on the sale and sexual exploitation of children.

www.ohchr.org/EN/Issues/Children/Pages/Surrogacy.aspx

Recommendations also include lifting the current ban on advertising services in relation to surrogacy and a minimum age of 18 to be a surrogate mother.

My own 18 year old DD attended a consultation event with me. She commented that although she was legally an adult she felt she was still vulnerable and deserving of protection from exploitation.
With payments of up to £60k many gap year students being targeted by advertisements on Facebook and other SM could well feel tempted to fund university by having a surrogate baby.
Is that the amazing career trajectory we want for our daughters?
To be a breeder?

Sorry Dozer what I meant was the process of reform is in full swing, rather than being considered, the public consultation is closed and the first steps towards reform are being made, so in full swing as in, in progress.

The responses are being reviewed, as Fanny notes but it's on the Law Commission's 13th programme of reform and not something that's a vague possibility. It is happening whether we like it or not!

This one is at it again. I cannot bear her bleating.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12671913/It-took-decade-two-miracle-children-surrogacy-feel-guilty-moaning-motherhood-theyre-here.html

I don’t know anyone who has had a baby through a surrogate but I know lots who have had IVF and every one of them feels that level of guilt over feeling that some bits are difficult because it was something so desperately wanted. So I can understand her feeling like that - she’s a normal mum feeling normal mum stuff.

But the whole “she has a special place in our heart” because of the surrogacy is just bizarre. As if the rest of us conceiving naturally are just like “yeah he’s not special because I just shagged and ta da”. It’s a regular thing with difficult conceptions and I do understand why (even my close friend felt like this and said it when her SIL got pregnant while she was pregnant “she couldn’t let me have this time for ME even though I’ve been through so much to get here”), but it’s basically wrong.

I guess she’s got to write about something and now she’s just a mum of two, there’s not much more to say! Although I would prefer to hear about her relationship with the surrogates, whether her daughters have been told who they are etc.

She is unbearable.