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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Julie Bindel - there-s-nothing-empowering-about-the-sex-work-on-onlyfans

113 replies

LadyBBKing · 16/04/2020 14:30

Someone may have already posted this (sorry, working stupid hrs at the moment, haven't been keeping up) but has anyone seen Julie B's latest article? The comments on the Twitter feed are disgusting. I've only had a 3 min look but ugh.

twitter.com/bindelj/status/1250397469189513216?s=20
www.spectator.co.uk/article/there-s-nothing-empowering-about-the-sex-work-on-onlyfans

I for one love the writings of a select few of the Spectator journalists so (if you're reading this Julie) I think kudos to her for this being published here, many of my more woke friends have left reading the Guardian and BBC because of horrendous CV-19 reporting.

OP posts:

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 20/04/2020 13:35

Other people not sharing your hyperfocus on cults doesn't mean that they're seeing the situation incorrectly. I'd suggest that it more likely means that you're seeing everything through a very narrow and specific lens, and that it's unreasonable to expect everyone else to adopt that same lens.

hoodathunkit · 20/04/2020 13:45

I do not expect anyone else to "adopt the same lens".

People are very welcome to hold different views and disagree.

I value debates where people hold a variety of viewpoints and are open to changing their views conditional on new insights and data.

I am not trying to persuade people to think the same things as I think.

I am opposed to debates where people are no-platformed and people refuse to consider new data and different ideas. These are not debates, they are just people repeating cerished beliefs based on confimration bias.

I simply would like readers to keep an open mind and consider their positions as provisional, as this is an analytic stance, a scientific stance, a rationalist stance and it should be a feminist stance surely?

Feel free to carry on as you were :)

I'm off out but may post later

HorseRadishFemish · 20/04/2020 14:07

Yes notbad excellent post.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 20/04/2020 14:19

Again, suggesting that people should revise their entire analysis of how the sex industry works because there are some cults that use sex as a recruiting tool is really very silly.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 20/04/2020 14:50

Yes notbad excellent post.

Completely agree.

SirVixofVixHall · 20/04/2020 15:30

The responses are so depressing. Very young women with their breasts out, or their bums, calling Julie “Karen”.
I despair at the world my daughters are going out into.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 20/04/2020 15:33

I despair at the world my daughters are going out into.

It's incredibly depressing to see young women being socialized to see their ability to give men erections as the primary measure of their value.

SirVixofVixHall · 20/04/2020 15:37

Yes. It is so bleak to see this. It is like the fifties, but where women have less respect and less value than my mother had, while being told that now we are all equal and women have so much power. The ultimate in gaslighting.

QuentinWinters · 20/04/2020 16:00

This raises an important issue that most people unfamiliar with the sex industry often fail to understand; for the most successful earners sex is not the primary commodity, the primary commodity is intimacy, or the illusion of intimacy

This is just the "lonely man" narrative (see also: dad paying for sex for disabled son; man in his 60s who has been long term single)

I don't buy it that these men don't realise they are paying the woman to give an illusion of giving a shit. They know the women don't care, but they would rather get their orgasm with some plausible deniability than face up to the fact they are fucking someone who doesn't want to fuck them.

I am totally fed up of never talking about men on these threads. If a man wants emotional intimacy, they could make friends or get a counsellor. They don't need a prostitute.

And what about the multitude of married/in a relationship man who use these "courtesans"? Maybe they should be focussing on intimacy in their marriage.

hoodathunkit · 28/04/2020 11:35

I am totally fed up of never talking about men on these threads. If a man wants emotional intimacy, they could make friends or get a counsellor. They don't need a prostitute.

You suggest that this man who seeks intimacy would be better off seeing a counsellor.

I think this is a reasonable suggestion and in response I would like to take a look at some of the therapists that this man might find should he decide to take up your suggestion.

There are so many therapists to choose from

Let’s start with Rachel Foux aka Rachel Gold who can be seen alongside a number of “experts” in sexual health / sexual medicine / sexual therapy (some with conventional qualifications and some with dodgy / made up qualifications and some with both) in the now defunct website of the British Association of Sexual Educators or BASE, a website I have posted about before that is worthy of significant scrutiny.

Ms Gold / Foux was on the board of BASE and her qualifications / accreditations are listed thus

Rachel Foux BA (hons) BASRT (Assoc), MAC, APPPAH
source: (scroll down)

<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130427065018/www.baseuk.org/static.aspx?pg=AdvisoryBoard&m=aboutus" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20130427065018/www.baseuk.org/static.aspx?pg=AdvisoryBoard&m=aboutus

According to an archived page of one of her now defunct websites (there are a few of these) Foux / Gold was a founding member of BASE
Source: (scroll down)

<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20110812043000/www.householdcompanion.com/About-Us-Rachel-Foux.asp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20110812043000/www.householdcompanion.com/About-Us-Rachel-Foux.asp

Apart from Ms Foux / Gold’s conventional qualifications her interest in less conventional forms of therapy are indicated in her personal website that contains the following text (emphasis mine):

"Having spent more than two decades training in a wide range of therapeutic modalities that support sexual health and wellbeing, I am confident that my method of sex and relationship coaching, is the most impactful and fastest approach to reawakening sexual intimacy and pleasure. I am deeply grateful for the many inspiring and wise teachers and healers that have encouraged me and influenced my work. My extensive professional training has included individual and relationship counselling, psychosexual therapy, coaching skills, alongside a portfolio of massage, natural health & healing, shamanism, vibrational medicine and yoga qualifications.

My personal sexual healing journey has included an immersion into tantric and Yogic traditions, for which I continue to be an avid student. I consider myself to be an Intuitive practitioner, profoundly inspired by the natural world, especially the magnificence of the sea and the forest. I love my work and feel immensely proud to be part of a new wave of sexual healers, that can offer clients both professional and leading edge services that really do transform lives."

source:

<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20200426081127/www.rachelgold.co.uk/rachelgold-sextherapist.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20200426081127/www.rachelgold.co.uk/rachelgold-sextherapist.php

Ms Foux / Gold describes her services further on her “how I work” page that includes the following text (emphasis mine):

"Somatic Sex Coaching
I am passionate advocate of somatic style sex coaching, which in simple terms, means sex coaching that involves some form of body-orientated therapeutic touch. I sincerely believe that somatic coaching offers an experience beyond what is generally possible in traditional sex and relationship therapy, as it involves body-touch or body-based experiential learning, rather than just talking and understanding issues.
Recent neuroscience research has shown that sex coaching that incorporates some form of hands-on coaching, results in true transformation, rather than just gaining an understanding of your patterns which does not always lead to lasting change. Trauma and emotional wounds can be locked into the body and this requires gentle encouragement, often in the form of touch, to release these memories and begin the healing process.

All my coaching sessions incorporate an element of somatic coaching, although this is always discussed in detail and full consent gained, at the beginning of every session. Somatic coaching could be anything from teaching a couple how to hug, to exploration of the senses, to breathing practices that enhance your future love making.
All somatic experiences that I facilitate, are strictly boundaried and never reciprocal. All touch happens only from me to my client and is included in the session for the purpose of education and healing.”

source:

<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20180902180401/rachelgold.co.uk/sex-courses.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20180902180401/rachelgold.co.uk/sex-courses.php

Please note the following from the above page

I. She uses touch to work with the body, although states that this is a one way thing (she touches the client and not the other way round
2 She claims to be able to recover traumatic memories that are locked in the body. This is an extremely common claim from these kinds of practitioners. I have serious concerns about how such practices can lead to false memories and false allegations of sexual abuse
3 She states “I abide by the professional ethics of the Association of Somatic and Integrative Sexologists.”

This last statement is immensely concerning as the Association of Somatic and Integrative Sexologists is an unusual and concerning organisation with very strong associations, via the people involved, with the paedophile Deer Tribe cult.
source: (via the wayBack machine)
<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20180909031732/www.the-asis.org/board" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20180909031732/www.the-asis.org/board

A hint that Ms Foux / Gold may have rather flexible boundaries in relation to her services can be found via this fascinating website for the Glastonbury Tantric Temple, that features many “healers” involved with the Deer Tribe and with tantric / kundalini yoga cults.

<a class="break-all" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130718075613/www.glastonburytantrictemple.co.uk/Tantra-BodySexCoaching-Bristol-Somerset-RachelGold.asp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">web.archive.org/web/20130718075613/www.glastonburytantrictemple.co.uk/Tantra-BodySexCoaching-Bristol-Somerset-RachelGold.asp

Like many interesting sex therapists, psychotherapists and others who exist in this liminal space somewhere between a sex worker and a therapist Ms Foux has been promoted on BBC Women’s Hour, in fact she has a significant media presence.

I will post more "therapists" later

hoodathunkit · 28/04/2020 12:10