Sunshine and cool air

[WrathofFaeKIopp]

There is special place for women and girls not far from Badley Fuckitt where there is sunshine blue skies and clean cool air.
There is a sunny terrace for sun worshippers and a shady nook for those who prefer cooler air.

With no holidays expected anytime soon, some of you will be in need for a bit of rest and recuperation.

I haven't worked out how to get there yet. The portal to Badley Fuckitt is out of action. The one that used to be in Tesco's biscuit aisle is out of action as it is undergoing deep clean.

I wonder if any of you lot possess the knowledge to find your way to this special place reserved for females only.

And the only Corona here is an ice cold beer.
Cheers. 🍺

A nicotine vest? Is that like a suicide vest, only with fags instead of explosives?

Anyway, I don't want to spoil the mood, your blue sky and cherry vodka place seems lovely, Wrath. I will plant some beans in the compost bin portal and see what comes up.

Not a suicide vest if you don't mind.

Just a regular vest stylie made of nicotine patch fabric.

You won't want to take it off.
You won't be able to take it off

You will come through your portal serene and unscathed.

Oh hello!

I'm sorry, I didn't read the OP properly re beer, so I brought bottles of bright green and red fizzy pop from my childhood instead.

I really do love you lot.

Can the portal be like The Fat Lady at the entrance to the Gryffindor common room in Harry Potter? She could ask us what the definition of "woman" is and if we get the answer right she lets us through.

I was thinking more along the lines if the guy on the bridge in Monty Python and the Holy Grail but I think Harry Potter references are much better

Also, I only use my iron for hama beads - so my 'ironing pile' is not something that can be given a kick or I'll be picking a squillion tiny bits of plastic off the floor.

I'll have to find another entrance.