Trying to do social distancing when you're invisible

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

I am a middle-aged woman, and I'm more or less used to being ignored in public. Usually it's quite pleasant to be able to get on with my business without being bothered, although the downside is that I get bumped into and barged off pavements a lot, mostly by men my age or younger.

I thought that in these times of social distancing, people would be extra-vigilant and careful to look where they're going, but no - the same thing is continuing to happen. When I go out for my daily exercise walk, I'm being constantly forced to step into the road or duck into random doorways and side streets to avoid people coming towards me in the other direction, with clearly no intention of moving away. I don't know if they genuinely don't see me, or if they do and just assume that, being a woman, I'll be the accommodating one and get out of their way. And yes, it is still men who are doing it. Is this another example of men taking their space in the world for granted and expecting everyone else to fit around them?

I deliberately don't give way, especially In London. I occasionally get bumped usually by someone on their phone but usually they chicken out first. I use a stick when walking any distance which helps. I don't advise any one to copy me though as my comeuppance may be lurking.
Not now of course as I'm stuck indoors due to being in the vulnerable group.

I've not experienced that at all. Everyone I've walked towards, make or female, has been at equal pains to distance themselves. I think we're all just much more aware of each other at the moment, whereas normally we barely notice the people around us.

Joisanofthedales normally I do that, but at the moment I'm not really willing to risk it. I was called a "fat bitch" by a man once when I failed to throw myself into the road to avoid him - in these times, I can imagine a much worse response somehow.

saraclara my experience is different. I would say that on the first day of lockdown, people were being careful, but now it appears as if the novelty has worn off and some are being alarmingly blase about it.

I have never experienced this pre or post Coronovirus.

As someone who is always first to step aside I've been observing this too, and wondering if it will make the ones who don't, think on - and change in future. Who knows?

I'm normally accompanied by several demanding children and I barely notice other people although we must pass them. I'm not sure who gives way so it's probably them!

I commented on this to friends the other day. On the whole, women were careful, but men kept moving into my attempts at social distancing. I think men see women’s space as terra nullius and just walk on through.

There was a letter in the Times saying someone spotted a man out for a walk with two long canes, one in each hand. When anyone approached him, he raised the canes to horizontal - they were six feet long, and precisely maintained the required social distancing!
Maybe you could adopt that, OP!

Are you short? I often don’t see people who are bellow eye level to me to be honest. I’m not sure there’s much to be done on the part of short people though, the tall ones just need to try to be more observant.

Patriarchy Chicken! Men bowl along the street, women scatter out of their way. I've started to not move, see who moves first.

I mentioned it to my (female) friend who had no idea what I was talking about. Now she hates me as once she's seen it she can't unsee it! And it drives her mad. She'll tell me how many men she played patriarchy chicken with on her 30 minute walk to work.

The only men I've encountered on lockdown (I'm in Spain) not looking where they're going have been on the phones, as much as women. Otherwise we are all avoiding each other and crossing roads to get distance, men and women equally.

This last few months I have felt invisible while out on walks and runs. I often think about it and thought it again on Wednesday while being told I was an idiot for asking people to maintain 2 metres by simply moving to same side of the path.

Then I was reminded of this article.

www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/i-walked-like-a-man-for-a-week-and-heres-what-i-realized/2019/11/25/78e3e968-0bcd-11ea-bd9d-c628fd48b3a0_story.html

I'm not especially short - just average height. I am fat, though, which you would think would make me more visible, but it really doesn't.

Patriarchy chicken! Thank you, I knew there was a term for it and it wasn't just me making the whole thing up.

I used to get annoyed with shoulder basher male dominance displays when I gave a bit of space and the men gave none. Now if they don't do the slight necessary swerve I just stop. It is astonishing that they suddenly discover how to swerve out of the way of a woman standing still but cannot do the same for woman walking.

I have been wondering if wearing a mask would help people remember to keep their distance.

It’s definitely a thing. And unbelievably still happening now. I was in our local supermarket early this morning. Most of the women were observing social distancing but the three or four men in there weren’t remotely bothered about just strutting straight in to what they wanted. Everyone in there this morning was, by my estimation, 50+ apart from the younger guy from a delivery company who just barged through everyone

Ha! Apples yes! I just focus on the middle distance and stride purposely. It seems to work. And if it doesn’t I just keep on striding.

I agree with Eoin!

Previously I would have stood my ground, sometimes I have actually stopped eg when a group of young people so engrossed in themselves just think the pavement if for them!

And 9 times out of 10 someone with a baby buggy.

And some of it is to do with people unable to move without a phone clamped to their ear.

But I definitely get the impression that they think older short (mayabe fat!) should automatically move aside for them.

But now, because I have no faith in other people, and would be beyond angry if i came down with coronavirus because someone just didn't think about social distancing, I feel like I am doing some mad dance down the street trying to not pass too close to people.

Never experienced the invisible middle aged woman thing, just make more noise!

Watching people getting to grips with social distancing in a supermarket, the women are all very aware of where they are in relation to others. Overwhelmingly, the people who don't seem to notice there is another person by their elbow, or recognize that they need to wait for the other person to pass before ploughing ahead, are men. All my colleagues and I have noticed it, to the point that one person said it must be the manspreading reflex finding a new outlet.

I find locking my shoulder and just colliding if they don't move quite satisfying.

Though needless to say, not at the moment.

One thing that always confuses me in threads like these is who sets the "rule" on who has right of way?

Usual and customary behavior. Custom.
In the area where I live everyone almost always holds doors open for one another. This came to a screeching halt a few weeks ago. We are developing new customs.

The only two people who have not observed social distancing have been middle aged men, one in the 45 minute queue for the chemist who kept getting closer and closer to me and the other who barged past me and DD in the supermarket making physical contact and then got aggressive when DD pointed out the 2 metre rule to him. Both seemed to be really impatient, like being a metre closer to the chemist door and barging in the door as I opened to leave would make a difference.

In contrast I had a really nice conversation at a few metre distance was a woman in the cat food aisle!

Just fake a cough as they get near you. They’ll soon move.