Men whistling loudly

[BlueSpotty]

Does anyone else get fed up with men that whistle loudly and tunelessly in public? It's so rude! And before anyone says that women do it too, I can't say I've ever noticed a woman doing it!

I was just browsing in a small shop. A man came in, whistling extremely loudly, which was annoying in itself but then he came and stood right next to me and started browsing there and whistling right in my ear!

After a couple of minutes I said, politely 'Can you stop whistling in my ear please?'. He looked so shocked, as if it was the most shocking thing anyone had ever said to him, then just said 'How bloody rude!' and gave me a filthy look.

I carried on looking for a few minutes and he did stop whistling but kept giving me dirty looks until I left the shop.

This is utterly ridiculous. You've never seen a woman littering, never seen a woman play music on her phone? You must walk round with your eyes and ears shut then.

I regularly pick up litter dropped by people and give it back to them - men AND women, often on trains people look listen to music or films without headphones in - that's men and women.

What I see a lot of are women talking very loudly on their phones on train - what's that indicative of? Women giving their children things to eat while they shop in supermarkets and then just drop their wrappers - what's that s sign of? People chatting loudly in the cinema or theatre - that's mainly women but occasionally men, what's that indicative of?

All I think when I see this is that these people are bad mannered, not that they are dominating the space.

mastertomsmum It's not misleading, women have to deal with street harassment on a regular basis, it's perfectly reasonable to consider this in relation to wolf-whistling. Men often make noises at women to try to get their attention, whether it be whistling, calling out, hissing or something else. It's therefore reasonable that when out in public, if an unknown man is in close proximity, making noises, you might wonder whether or not it's being directed at you, especially if there is no-one else around.

Yes, 9/10 time I see men dropping litter, not women, and it's men playing music loud on buses, I've never seen a woman do this. Trains, granted, are more of a mixture. Only the other day I saw a man in broad daylight pissing in the street, no qualms. I've seen women pee in alleys when drunk late at night, but would never imagine a woman to stand on her own in the street in broad daylight and simply crouch down and piss like this, men simply feel more entitled to be out and about, taking up space, making noise. It's also men committing the vast majority of sexual harassment, or are you next going to suggest that women do this just as much as men too?

How did this get from whistling to sexual harassment?
This thread gets more and more bonkers.

If a man whistles and a woman doesn't hear it, is it space invading?
I like a philosophical question.

It's not 'bonkers' and simply saying that without engaging with anything that's been said doesn't make for any kind of point. It got from whistling to sexual harassment because when a random male stranger is in close proximity to a woman in public, those with good manners or any kind of sensitivity know not to get too close and cross any boundaries by behaving in unexpected ways, for example not walking too closely behind a woman. When male strangers behave in unexpected ways in close proximity to a woman, it's natural that a woman might wonder why that is. Whistling in many cases is harmless, but I maintain I have experienced it from creepy men standing too close, looking me up and down or then making inappropriate comments. It might not have happened to you, but it does happen. I don't understand why some posters can't see that whistling can be used in this way, it doesn't seem to be that much of a wild claim to me, and it's clearly an experience many of us have had.

I hardly ever notice men whistle. Last time must have been years ago.

I haven't noticed this and it doesn't bother me.

Spitting really does and that's always men IME. Twice at me, when I was younger

But whistling, don't notice, don't care.

I've seen a lot of threads on here about whistling, seems it really really winds some people up.

It's not 'bonkers' and simply saying that without engaging with anything that's been said doesn't make for any kind of point.

I've engaged several times in this post, but I don't see how someone who thinks women drop litter as much as men must also think women sexually assault as much as men, too.
It's crazy to draw that logical leap.

I live with a whistler, it's constant. I can't listen any song without being forced to hear his shitty rendition of whatever's playing. Dick!

How can people engage though when what is being said is irrational?

Of course anything can be done in an intimidating or harassing way - someone could smile in such a way as to cause fear but that doesn't mean that any man who smiles in public is doing so to cause fear.

Posters on here are complaining about men "whistling in their ear" but that is blatantly untrue. To be able to whistle into your ear the whistler must be touching you. That type of contact in public is obviously going to elicit a response. These men aren't whistling in your ear are they, they are simply whistling in your vicinity. In all likelihood they haven't even registered you let alone doing it deliberately to frighten you or antagonise you.

If you are accusing innocent people of committing harassment when they are doing entirely innocent behaviours then the problem lies with you rather than them.

I don't see how someone who thinks women drop litter as much as men must also think women sexually assault as much as men, too.
It's crazy to draw that logical leap.
I personally find it bizarre that anyone would argue that women are as anti-social in public as men when I see the opposite every time I leave my door, but there we are.
Of course anything can be done in an intimidating or harassing way - someone could smile in such a way as to cause fear but that doesn't mean that any man who smiles in public is doing so to cause fear. No-one has said it's any men, but some men.

These men aren't whistling in your ear are they, they are simply whistling in your vicinity. In all likelihood they haven't even registered you let alone doing it deliberately to frighten you or antagonise you.
They'd have to be blind to have not noticed me when they're standing right next to me and there's no-one else close by. I'm not saying they're necessarily aiming to frighten or antagonise either, but they are invading space, possibly testing boundaries or drawing attention to themselves. I can accept that some women on this thread haven't experienced this, but I don't understand why there are some on here so intent on telling women that this has happened to that it never happens. Women are usually pretty good judges of when men are being creepy, we have enough practice at it.

I'm a loud sneezer and nose blower.......I also have rhinitis. It isn't intentional, it's bloody embarrassing tbh.

It's a toned down, maybe even subconscious version of wolf whistling (so not intentional harassment at least). Otherwise why do so many men suddenly pipe up whistling once they clock a (usually) young, good looking woman? It's been said upthread and I notice it too. Sign of a creep.

I’m back, I just read that men have been known engage in ‘hissing’ to catch women’s attention. Use of the word ‘hissing’ is very offensive.

Back to whistling - I will look out for men whistling tunes to attract attention to themselves in a manner that could offend and if I ever see one that does this I will start a thread.

Meanwhile, myself (female) and the milkman (definitely just whistling for his own pleasure) will continue to whistle

I personally find it bizarre that anyone would argue that women are as anti-social in public as men

Good job nobody has said that.
Women on this thread are telling you that they whistle or have loud sneezes but you're ignoring them because it doesn't fit with what you already believe to be true.

Do we really know that women are less anti-social than men in public? Wouldn't that depend on what we'd class as anti-social?

I will agree that men are more likely to pee in odd places, but I think that's down to the practicalities.

I had a boss who would whistle while he walked down the department at the start of each day..."look, I'm here everyone!" He was very full of himself. He may as well have been holding a blackboard and scratching his fingernails down it, the sound was intolerable. Disturbing staff you'd think he would want to be working but no, we had to pay attention to his arrival. He didn't whistle at any other time.

The one that is increasingly driving me mad is men on trains (no it's not a manspreading one although that annoys me too) who cannot trust a woman to press the door button at an appropriate nanosecond once the doors become unlocked. They will twitch behind you, or be outside the train jabbing the button in a "how dare woman try to use technology for I am manly man" manner (I swear they'd use their penises to press it if they could) and woe betide you have the window open to do the handle on the old slam door trains... they'll yank it from your fingertips to make sure THEY do it first.

This is all just a matter of interpretation though.

People on trains are impatient. My god, a few weeks ago, Mile End underground at 8.30 am and we were 10 deep on the platform waiting for central line trains. Everyone of them was already rammed when it came in and it was every man and woman for themselves, people were pushing and shoving, elbows out. Both sexes doing it equally and that's normal for rush hour in London.

Same as pushing the button - I'll do that if the person in front of me is dithering. Same as at a pelican crossing - too many times I've assumed that the first person there has pushed the button, when they haven't, so now I'll push it when I get there, even of others are already waiting. Now, because I'm a woman you likely won't think anything of it but if a man were to.do.ot, for the exact reason that I'm doing it, you'd be thinking he might as well do.it with his penis or he's doing some.sort of macho button pressing display.

It's verging on paranoia to assume that anyone doing normal everyday things are doing it to get at you.

That’s not what people are saying, though. They are saying it’s irritating and more likely to be done by men, because men are less likely to have been taught to be quiet and not take up space.

And other people are saying whistling is nothing to do with taking up space, nor is it aimed at women who happen to be in the vicinity.
You can feel oppressed by it if you choose, it doesn’t mean there’s any nasty motive attached, or indeed any motive at all that concerns you.

You can feel oppressed by it if you choose, it doesn’t mean there’s any nasty motive attached, or indeed any motive at all that concerns you. As you haven't been present at the many different examples described on this thread, I'd say you're not really fit to judge whether or not anyone is choosing to be oppressed or if there is actually more to it and the men described are being creepy/space invading etc. To be honest I put this overbearing whistling lark down as just a minor annoyance and not something I lose any sleep over, but why are you so insistent on defending the creepy and/or overbearing behaviour of men on this and not listening to women? We're going round in circles here, it's been said many times that it's not just the whistling but other factors in combination with it - body language, proximity, comments also made, being looked up and down, being in a confined space, power relationships of the man to the woman (when they work together for example) and other behaviours going on at the same time. I can only assume so people feel very defensive about this because they are whistlers themselves!
Here's another example anyway: In school the pervy woodwork teacher/assistant sidling up to me whilst whistling, looking me up and down then making a comment about "you'll end up in trouble, you will", presumably a judgement passed because I was a working class girl who wore short skirts and had developed early, rather than being anything to do with my behaviour or grades which were always good. I still remember it now, bleurgh. I've had similar instances of a bloke standing by me whistling and then going on to make some sort of inappropriate comment, it seems like these men use it as a way into an inappropriate conversation. I will not be told by strangers on the internet that these things didn't happen or that I'm determined to be oppressed just because it hasn't happened to them.

I’m not defending creepy or overbearing behaviour in the slightest, I just don’t agree that whistling falls into that category.
I’ve encountered creepy behaviour from men, in common with most women. Still not remotely bothered by anyone choosing to whistle in the street.