Men whistling loudly

[BlueSpotty]

Does anyone else get fed up with men that whistle loudly and tunelessly in public? It's so rude! And before anyone says that women do it too, I can't say I've ever noticed a woman doing it!

I was just browsing in a small shop. A man came in, whistling extremely loudly, which was annoying in itself but then he came and stood right next to me and started browsing there and whistling right in my ear!

After a couple of minutes I said, politely 'Can you stop whistling in my ear please?'. He looked so shocked, as if it was the most shocking thing anyone had ever said to him, then just said 'How bloody rude!' and gave me a filthy look.

I carried on looking for a few minutes and he did stop whistling but kept giving me dirty looks until I left the shop.

also, surely the association with men whistling AT women doesn't pass you by?

In my 60 years on this planet I have never once heard this.

'also, surely the association with men whistling AT women doesn't pass you by?

In my 60 years on this planet I have never once heard this.'

I've never heard this either, DidoLamenting

Wtf dido you have never heard of wolf whistling?

I like this clip

You've never heard of wolf-whistling? Now who's being ridiculous. You seem intent on belittling women's reaction to this for some reason. If it doesn't bother you, that's fine, perhaps you haven't had to endure the same amount of harassment as others and that's why, or haven't experienced it as a space invading/pervy behaviour, but many other here have. Let's agree to disagree that we've had different experiences rather than you basically calling women 'feminazis' for objecting to a behaviour they don't like, as is our right.

This thread isn't about wolf whistling it's about whistling a tune.

God I tell you what I really hate is when men have the temerity and outright gall to be out and about in public being male with intent to male. Sometimes their mere existence is oppressive, unwelcome and an affront to decency.

My mind is blown that anyone is unfamiliar with wolf whistling, even if they haven't had it directed at them personally.

AntiSocialInjusticePacifist It's been explained by many women here why exactly it can be (not always) intrusive. You don't have to have had that experience yourself, but it would be decent of you to not belittle and gaslight women for stating how it bothers them. Many of us have been sexually assaulted, and maybe we are being over-vigilant for this reason, but that's hardly our fault.
mastertomsmum Yes, I'm aware of that, and I stated that the association with wolf-whistling is perhaps what is a little unnerving, as when it happens in an enclosed space with a stranger you have to figure out what the intention is behind it, whether it's harmless or directed at you. It's basically to do with unpredictable or unusual behaviour of a unknown man in close proximity, just as if a man was walking closely behind you. And before you start, I'm not saying all men who walk closely behind you are evil either, but women have to constantly asses their environment for safety.

I think this thread has touched a nerve with some habitual whistlers who don't like thinking of themselves as the annoying fuckers they are

People used to whistle a lot more.

Someone whisting a tune wouldn't bother me at all - in fact I am known to do the same (I'm a fully-fledged woman, btw).

It seems a bit grumpy to complain about whistling/singing/generally being cheerful. It is not the same AT ALL as wolf whistling, which is aimed at a particular woman.

Everyone is familiar with wolf whistling, it’s just an entirely different ballgame.
Anyone seriously imagining a random passerby whistling away to himself is whistling at them in a display of male dominance has a very, very damaged outlook on life.
They very likely have no notion that you’re there, and whistling is really not a way to assert themselves or get your attention.
Agree with pp, it’s kind of embarrassing that this is in one of the feminist boards.

IrmaFayLear As I've said, it all depends on the context. People are allowed to find it annoying in any case, whether someone is being cheerful or not. In movies, whistling is often used to connote menace, so it's not inconceivable that it's used for that purpose on occasion.

Anyone seriously imagining a random passerby whistling away to himself is whistling at them in a display of male dominance has a very, very damaged outlook on life.
We're not talking about random passersby, we're talking about men standing in close proximity. The OP talked about it happening in a shop and he was whistling in her ear, at best inconsiderate.

I'd suggest for those that don't understand the annoyance at men whistling, rather than this being a case of 'feminazis' getting offended by everything men do, it's simply the case that some women are more sensitive to noise.

No, everyone understands that people get annoyed about things that other people do. I know many people for example who are annoyed by the noise of children in public. I am personally very annoyed by teenagers talking about stupid things on the bus. That does not necessarily lead to the conclusion that these things should be prevented or that they are meant to be annoying, or even that they are thoughtless. Some teens are thoughtlessly loud but many are just enthusiastic and not terribly self-aware. Some men are also quite sensitive to noise btw, that is not at all a female thing.

I don't see how it's so inconceivable to you that men could possibly use this as a display of dominance.

Sure they could. But being able to imagine something doesn't mean it's true.

Do you have some reason to think a particular man is doing this - if so, that might be indicative of that man. To say that it is the reason all or most men do it seems a harder claim to make and we've seen zero evidence for it presented. Especially since we know that women who whistle don't seem to always do it as a display of dominance, clearly there are other reasons a person might whistle. It also seems that women are less likely to whistle because whistling in women has been discouraged - if it hadn't maybe we would have equal numbers of male and female whistlers.

@UpfieldHatesWomen that's sort of my point, absolutely ANYTHING a man can do (or even not do in some cases), can be triggering to a sexual assault survivor. Maybe a man perhaps might do a casual whistle whilst coming up behind a woman on the street (before perhaps crossing it) just to sort of let her know and not be a lone set of random sinister footsteps so as not to out and out startle her? I would personally associate whistling as much more of a "lost-in-their-own-thoughts" sorta thing than as a dominance display.

Thank you for accepting there might be an element of over-vigilance going on, and of course that is never a fault on the part of any individual survivor.

For the record the gentleman in the opening post does sound like an asshat. Carrying on with behaviour you know has annoyed someone IS a dominance display, I was more referring to the conversation having moved on to whistling in general.

You've never heard of wolf-whistling? Now who's being ridiculous

Well it would be if that was what I said- but I didn't. I have heard of it, have never actually heard it happen.

This thread wasn't even about wolf whistling.

It also seems that women are less likely to whistle because whistling in women has been discouraged - if it hadn't maybe we would have equal numbers of male and female whistlers. But doesn't this prove the point that whistling is an activity that takes up space, and therefore men sometimes do it to space invade? You've admitted that some teens are thoughtless with their noise, and I would suggest that some men are too (and women, though not so much as whistlers). It would be fair to say that it's not the whistling alone that's the problem, it's when it's coupled with a man standing too close, for example, that makes it disconcerting. In general, when you are alone with a male in a confined space, lets say an elevator, they tend to either keep silent or make pleasant small talk. If I was in a lift with a man whistling, I'd just find it odd that he would break that cultural norm, that's all, and so would question why he was doing it.

Dido Yawn, see reply to mastertomsmum above about wolf-whistling. And it's never happened to you? Well great, that must mean it's never happened to any woman ever then and anyone who says so if wrong, eh? Great logic.

But doesn't this prove the point that whistling is an activity that takes up space, and therefore men sometimes do it to space invade?

Um, no, I am not even sure how you would come to that conclusion. I mentioned upthread about my grandmother who not only thought whistling was unladylike, but that drinking beer out of the bottle was unladylike. That doesn't show that either of those things are always or even often about taking up space. Even if women were discouraged from doing it because it made them noticeable, it does not mean it is wrong to sometimes be noticeable.

I don't think anyone has claimed that someone might not whistle to space invade. I think on occasion people do it to be annoying. Sometimes they do it to announce their presence when they think being quiet would be awkward or a bad idea. Sometimes they do it because they have a song stuck in their head. Sometimes (probably often) it is a habit.

But there have been all kinds of posts acting as if this is a male thing, that all men who whistle intend this, that women, even if they do it less, do it for different reasons (or not even seeming to notice that women do whistle as well.)

All of that is really just speculation, and assumptions about all men having bad motives that aren't based in any material reality.

I mean, how many times have you been stuck in a lift with a man whistling? With a woman whistling?

I have been in confined/public spaces with men in close proximity whistling numerous times, which is why I'm commenting! I can't pretend to look into a man's mind - I'm not Layla Moran, after all - and say what his intentions are, only that it feels invasive to be stuck somewhere subjected to someone else's noise. I've only ever noticed men whistling like this in public and it may not be intentionally dominating the space, but just a natural sense of entitlement to make noise, leave mess etc. Similarly I have only ever seen men playing music on public transport and contributing to noise pollution in this way, I've only ever seen men throw trash from the windows of there cars - I'm sure some women do these things, but it seems disproportionately male.

their, obviously

There has been no gaslighting on this thread. All the less polite stuff has been from those alleging an innocent activity like whistling a tune is threatening.

Bringing wolf whistling into the discussion is misleading

UpfieldHatesWomen Mon 09-Mar-20 13:16:51

I have been in confined/public spaces with men in close proximity whistling numerous times, which is why I'm commenting! I can't pretend to look into a man's mind - I'm not Layla Moran, after all - and say what his intentions are, only that it feels invasive to be stuck somewhere subjected to someone else's noise. I've only ever noticed men whistling like this in public and it may not be intentionally dominating the space, but just a natural sense of entitlement to make noise, leave mess etc. Similarly I have only ever seen men playing music on public transport and contributing to noise pollution in this way, I've only ever seen men throw trash from the windows of there cars - I'm sure some women do these things, but it seems disproportionately male

Sorry - but this is really not on. I'm going away now as I can't bear to be around sentiments and testaments of misinformation like this