Men whistling loudly

[BlueSpotty]

Does anyone else get fed up with men that whistle loudly and tunelessly in public? It's so rude! And before anyone says that women do it too, I can't say I've ever noticed a woman doing it!

I was just browsing in a small shop. A man came in, whistling extremely loudly, which was annoying in itself but then he came and stood right next to me and started browsing there and whistling right in my ear!

After a couple of minutes I said, politely 'Can you stop whistling in my ear please?'. He looked so shocked, as if it was the most shocking thing anyone had ever said to him, then just said 'How bloody rude!' and gave me a filthy look.

I carried on looking for a few minutes and he did stop whistling but kept giving me dirty looks until I left the shop.

Unlike Layla Moran I can't look into peoples hearts and know mens intentions. I think we should draw a line where there are deleberate acts intended to impose dominance such as expecting you to move out of the way on the pavement, manspreading where there is adequate leg room, repeatedly being talked over, and so on. I really don't think you can put whistling into this category - though i do agree it can be annoying.

What is this tilting to one side lark? Do some men really do this, or is it a joke I just haven’t got?

or is it a joke I just haven’t got?

I think it's a joke. A poster upthread said that she could come on mumsnet and say absolutely anything about men and that she finds it annoying, and loads of people would agree eg saying that men all tilt to one side just to show their dominance over women. I think that's what she meant anyway.

What is this tilting to one side lark? Do some men really do this, or is it a joke I just haven’t got?

I think a pp said it as a joke because of how ridiculous this thread is. I think she said that people could say a man did anything and posters would jump on and agree how awful it is. She then said "leaning to one side".

You could use breathing, scratching their head - any innocent gesture.

I think it’s cultural. I’ve only ever seen older native British men doing it. If someone did this in the setting of my cultural background they’d probably be taken for a psychiatric evaluation.

Oh, right. I thought so, but I’ve seen it twice on the thread so wondered what I was missing!

You what, Regina?? Was that a joke too? . Beginning to feel a bit lost here, people are weird...

Yep someone at work does it and it feels very territorial, I detest it. I'd lay money he doesn't do it when he's in a private space of his own like a car.

Oh, right. I thought so, but I’ve seen it twice on the thread so wondered what I was missing!

Not sure if the 2nd poster was being serious. If she was, it kind of proves the point of the first poster though.

What is this tilting to one side *lark?
*

Apologies.

The original comment tickled me.

If you need light entertainment for IWD and haven't seen the DSA 2019 Convention Highlights please watch.

Only serious note the young woman at the podium should get a medal for patiance, she can barely get a sentence out with out being shouted over by the woke blokes at the end of this clip.

Just wondering what kind of men most of the posters on here can bear to be around. Is there a type that is acceptable/inoffensive, or are all men just basically really annoying?

I agree with the poster. Whistling in public is about taking up space. I know it's not a conscious strategy, but it really does signify that someone has taken ownership of the public realm. I really don't mind it out on the street, anonymous, etc, but once you start getting into confined spaces, it's dominating.

Other things I find annoying that men do to dominate space:

• huffing/puffing/sighing loudly. This happens a lot on trains. Guy clearly wants attention and clearly expects me to ask. I don't.
• playing music (usually men but not always)
• taking up space. Manspreading. I do it back to retaliate. This happens a lot in meetings and the workplace. Displays of entitlement. Think of Jacob Reese-Mogg lying across the front bench.

auldcraw

As the comments on say "Comedy gold"

I liked the point about halfway through where someone asked what exactly were they talking about and voting on.

You seem to associate with cretins, Busy. No men of my acquaintance huff and puff until I ask them what’s troubling them. I’m not buying that it’s a male “thing”.

Or that whistling is about taking up space.

Some of the comments on here are man bashing. Weird to say it’s practically only men who whistle and bizarre to think its power play.

I think that back up the idea that women shouldn't draw attention to themselves in public or try to own the space - but it's fine and right for men to do so.

So would you then advocate that women whistle more often?

I think many of the posts on here are the reason feminism gets a bad name / not taken seriously.

Yes.

@Thisismytimetoshine these are just random blokes on the train, not my acquaintances.

And it's not whistling, it's whistling in inappropriate places. But perhaps I've been in London too long where the objective is to fade into the crowds.

When I've encountered it, the whistling and/or humming seems more like a way of keeping himself company, self-generated background music, as it were.

What's irritating about it is that he's not thinking about its effect on you, whether it's territory marking or anything else. He's doing his own thing and you don't exist.

The obliviousness of extreme privilege. Accompanied always by surprise and hurt at being misunderstood ("I was just whistling! Jeesus. Get a life.") when one of the background nonentities insists on being considered.

I hate whistling. Some men have to make their presence known.

I'd suggest for those that don't understand the annoyance at men whistling, rather than this being a case of 'feminazis' getting offended by everything men do, it's simply the case that some women are more sensitive to noise. Those on the autistic spectrum are intensely bothered by certain everyday sounds - engines etc - and whistling would certainly fit into a similar category of a piercing noise for some. Others are immensely bothered by the sound of other people eating, for example, and it's something hard-wired in the brain. www.bbc.com/news/health-38842561
I stand by the idea that at least in some cases, when done in a public place, it's deeply entitled, in the same way playing loud music on a phone on public transport is. It shows that either you don't care if you're a nuisance to other people, or you don't even consider how your noise affects others.

Your explanation might cover a small number of people , not just women, but on the whole I'm sticking with the theory of a certain type of feminist just being determined to find something to moan about.

UpfieldHatesWomen

Well yes, I have misophonia so I understand about noise. But it really is not just men who make these noises - I cannot stand the noise of other people eating, rustling bags, humming - these are all done by women too. Children screaming of screeching also triggers me. Are women who eat or children who scream also asserting their dominance in a space? I'd say that they are just behaving normally, just as men who whistle are.

Honestly, this thread just makes a mockery of feminism.

I don't see how it's so inconceivable to you that men could possibly use this as a display of dominance. Every other behaviour under the sun can be used as a dominance display, so why not whistling? It's making a noise just as is shouting, singing, playing loud music, or as we see with boisterous little boys, banging loudly on drums, screaming at passersby, calling out etc That's not to say it whistling is always used in this way, of course not, but I've definitely experienced this, as have other posters. For example, a workman in my home whistling to himself as he works, I've absolutely no issue with. A bloke standing close to me in a shop, whistling in my ear - inconsiderate at the very least, vaguely odd and encroaching on my personal space.

...also, surely the association with men whistling AT women doesn't pass you by? I think part of the reason why it's unpleasant as a woman is that in that moment you're figuring out whether or not he's whistling AT you or not and whether or not you're in a potential harassment situation - and I'm talking about situations when you find yourself in proximity to a random stranger in a public space as I described above. Unfortunately, due to the amount of street harassment many women have to deal with on a regular basis, you can't blame us for being vigilant in this way, and so a whistling sound might get our backs up when it's done in a confined space or in close proximity, especially with no-one else around. I do think some men do it in certain situations in order to tread the line between being socially acceptable and invading a woman's personal space.