Feel like I'm shouting into a void.

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Or ended up in a parallel universe.

Trying to explain why self ID is an issue and I'm getting called a terf and told that my rape is my problem to deal with.

So basically, don't be scared of men, shut up and deal with it little woman.

Patriarchy at its finest. Yet I'm the one being told I'm not a feminist.

Usually it's Facebook or Twitters. Yeah?

Do what I do - just come here and not bother with those other places. You won't missem as much as you'd think.

I know. The world has gone batshit.

Was this real world or Twitter? My experience of real world is nobody knows about it and can't believe how dumb it all is. Mind you, I've not mentioned it in college or places like that that may be woke.

My brother is a woke bloke and shared that bloody stupid tweet from the fish studying academic saying sex isn't binary because fish or something. Have you seen that one? It isn't worth seeing.

In the real world people don’t know about this agenda and when they find out they are horrified. I mentioned it to a work contact last week - she knew nothing about it - and this week she’s emailing me news stories about Selina Todd. 100pc on the GC bus.

No one in the real world buys this crap. The real issue we have is regulatory capture.

yes, that is the problem
on other issues I've been concerned with in the past, persuading public opinion has been a challenge, not so with this, turning the tide will mean people in power/with influence will have to publicly admit they were wrong, and I'm not sure how we achieve that

Facebook of course.

But a real life friend (ex friend now!) And her sister and her friends piling on to call me all sorts of names and tell me my rape isn't important.

Jesus how dare they!

So sorry. They are no loss. Unfriend and mute them now. No point trying to win an argument with opinions like that, you have already found out they will say ANYTHING to try and win, no matter how hurtful and wrong

This sucks OP, I'm sorry, you shouldn't be silenced. Stand firm if you can. It's tough.

I am so, so sorry. This is horrific.

Have you got some support, some people to talk to? There's us here, of course (though Relationshps or Chat might be a gentler board).

Unfortunately, you're seeing what's behind the mask of 'progress'.

Naked hatred of women.

I'm so sorry.

Your experience as a rape survivor matters.

I've unfriended and blocked. I'm guessing they now think they've won

Apparently me being raped is not important because it wasn't a transwoman that raped me.

When I explained it was a man... With a penis... So I would rather not have them in my safe spaces I was told I was disgusting and using my rape to justify transphobia.

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this from ‘friends’ rather than just strangers on an Internet forum as is the usual way. I saw a tweet very recently - posted by a feminist site which I used to like - which said ‘your problem isn’t with trans women, it’s with predatory men, try and remember that’. And I felt totally belittled, patronised, and angry. My problem as a rape and multiple sexual assault survivor is with predatory men AND any women/trans women who are fighting to allow any men into my safe spaces, thank you very much. That includes - obviously - self ID. Guess my experiences and subsequent PTSD don’t matter.....

This was the last message before I told them to go fuck themselves and blocked them.

your argument is null and void

Fuck those absolute raging asshats. Well done on blocking them.

Goodness your 'friends' sound awful. At least you see them for who they are now.

The worst that happened to me was i got told how terribly vulnerable transwomen are and then unfriended when i challenged their stats.

Apart from being a vicious thing to say; it shows a lack in critical thinking because those 'statistics' are just batshit, aren't they.

I see that "47% of trans people commit suicide" lie is still circulating.

Yep.
It's just difficult as the friend was someone I recently had round and relied on. Someone I told everything too about my current problems.

My partner left me a week ago. 12 years and 3 kids and he just upped and left.
My mental health is really bad. I have severe depression, auditory hallucinations, so I'm hearing voices, I have the early intervention team involved, they're putting a CAF in place to support me with the children's multiple needs (11 year old has heart problems as hearing loss, 6 year old has something called selective mutism so she can't speak out of the home, and 4 year old has behavioural problems)
I've had to quit work as he was a SAHD, and it triggered the move to UC so now I'm skint until the end of February.
My Ehlers Danlos syndrome is leaving me in agony, I think it's the cold, and my memory is gone completely, so my 11 year old is having to remind me of things like packed lunches.
And on top of all that I'm autistic and struggling with flashbacks of my rape and abuse.

I get that lots of people - luckily for them - don’t understand what it’s like to live in fear after rape. How it curtails your happiness, freedom, future. How your flight or fight is constantly engaged and a seemingly minor thing such as unexpectedly encountering a man in a bathroom - or any enclosed or isolated space, as bathrooms often are - can be truly terrifying.

I understand they don’t get it and try to have some patience with that. I’m glad they don’t know. But what really really fecks me off is when people cannot bother for one second to TRY to understand in return what living like that must be like, and just say ‘it’s not a big deal’ or as in your case ‘your argument is null and void’.

Also very interested in where they have got the notion that sexual assault doesn’t take place in public spaces at any sort of concerning rate. Personally and professionally I beg to differ.

Yes@GoosesGeeses and with all the predatory-men-turned-transwomen who feature in the crime sections daily. Which will probably be enough to get my post deleted.

Cross post. Very sorry indeed to hear about your other issues. Flashbacks are a horrendous thing. Glad you are getting some support put in place. Well done you for being amazingly strong and resilient in the face of adversity. Your kids are lucky to have you.

Thank you.

Yes, it's the refusal to even considered others feelings that annoys me so much.
They are bending over backwards and performing some pretty impressive mental gymnastics to support transpeople, but can't think maybe, just maybe, women have a point.

I'm so sorry, OP. It's happened to me as well - people I really loved and valued.

When this shit fully hits the fan there are going to be a lot of embarrassed women with apologies to make.

I used to share female spaces quite happily with transexuals before the great TWAW brainwashing/ MRA campaign got regulatory capture left right and centre. Never had an issue. But things have changed hugely and transgenderism is very different to old school transexualism.

I always got the idea the latter felt honoured to be welcomed into female spaces and that they knew following acceptable social norms and quietly fitting in was a big part of showing respect for that honorary status given by the more vulnerable sex to select members of the stronger. How times have changed.

That post is crazy, they are obviously not very coherent thinkers and have believed a lot of untruths. 47%, that seems obviously bollocks, I don't know why someone would not check that.

The most rational core of what they are saying, I think is, to what extent can individuals personal experiences dictate or direct public policy on rights issues for others. In itself that is a reasonable question that doesn't mean individuals experiences don't matter. They have already fully bought into the idea that TWAW and should have all the rights other women do. They are arguing in a circle but this is a very common mistake, a lot o people do tis without realising it. But if that is their starting point they will inevitably see any attempt to restrict TW from toilets as wrong. We wouldn't say for example, that a woman who had a traumatic experience of assault from another woman should be allowed to go into the mens toilets, because that would infringe on the rights of the men to privacy. They are seeing this as similar.

More and more I think that what needs to be challenged for these people to "get it" is the medical/scientific basis of their assumptions about gender identity and sex.