Feel like I'm shouting into a void.

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Or ended up in a parallel universe.

Trying to explain why self ID is an issue and I'm getting called a terf and told that my rape is my problem to deal with.

So basically, don't be scared of men, shut up and deal with it little woman.

Patriarchy at its finest. Yet I'm the one being told I'm not a feminist.

That was a vile message that was posted you OP, absolutely vile and lacking in empathy - whoever said this is a naked hatred of women is correct.

And people should never use the threat of suicide like that - and completely misleading stats - to get what they want. That one's n the abuser's handbook. Along with emotional blackmail.

(Glad you told them to go fuck themselves!)

Yeah, all the "woke" people I know are "comfortable with unisex spaces and don't see the issue if you're in a cubicle"

I find this hard to understand. I like and spend a lot of time with men. I used to be in a job where in some contents I shared a tent with men and was often the only women. None of that bothered me. I don't, generally speaking, feel a lot of fear about men.

I still strongly prefer single sex spaces in some contexts. I'm willing to grant that some of those preferences may have a strong cultural component, but I don't think that is true of all of them. Sex differences are a material reality that has real impact on people and the sense of privacy is important.

NotTerfNorCis

It is distressing to some people to feel that way. But that means mental health issue.
They clearly have problems if they hate their body so much they want to carve it up and mutilate it.
So surely we should be treating the cause of these issues?
We don't cut off the limbs of people who feel their body parts don't belong so why are we mutilating genitalia?
And that's what it is. Mutilation.

I'm autistic. If trans had been a big thing a few years ago, I would have been pushed down that rabbit hole as I always felt I didn't fit in.
I'm not a girly girl, I'm not one of the sporty girls, I don't wear the same clothes (I wear what's comfy) and I don't fit in with any crowd.
So it left me feeling isolated and I could quite easily have been led to believe I was trans.

That scares me. I'm so glad it didn't happen to me. But it scares me for my daughter. Who suffers from extreme anxiety and is really not very stereotypically girly (apart from loving pink and unicorns) she loves dinosaurs and transformers, robots and cars, she wants to be an astronaut and a judge, is obsessed with space and wants to rule the world.
All things that are "boyish"
Is she going to be told she's trans and that's why she can't speak? Because she feels uncomfortable with her body?
That thought is terrifying because she's an amazing and wonderful girl.

that means mental health issue.

I agree. It's obvious, but these days we're supposed to pretend it's natural variation, like being gay.

It's ridiculous.
I asked my 11 year old what he thinks if trans.
He is extremely loving and open and wants the best for everyone. And I know they've discussed relationships in school during pshe lessons.

He said it's stupid and they need to find out why they're so sad before letting people decide they're in the wrong body.

So even my 11 year old grasps it. So why can't full grown women?

It's just baffling the amount of mental gymnastics they make to come to these conclusions.

An autistic zebra! Who says you don't fit in?

Some people you wouldn't want to fit in with. Your ex friends being a prime example. And they say people with autism lack empathy.

My kids are ASD. One of them will be really vulnerable to this, so I completely hear you. It bemuses me that the Tavi are all, gosh, we have no idea why so many autistic girls are on our lists now!

Are they for fucking real? I could give them a list this minute on why. It's blindingly obvious to anyone who knows a damn thing about ASD in women.

And any friend who is more worried about getting her woke card stamped than she is being sensitive to your experience of rape is no loss. What an absolute donkey she is.

Susan yep, autistic zebra
I quite like being a zebra actually, it means I get to freak people out by twisting my wrist 360°

Wellbehaved it is scary. So very scary.

That friend who says "...we can't base planning on the idea that people might break the law."

Do they lock their house and their car on exiting? Why?

So sorry to hear this HerRoyalFattyness. Your friends should be supporting you about your rape. You do have Mumsnet and you would be very welcome on Spinster too (where there are no restrictions on what you can say).

Primary and secondary age girls grappling with menstruation need a single sex space where they know no boys are timing them in the cubicle, listening for the rustle of cellophane coming off a fresh tampon or for the lid of the little bin going. They don't want to be caught rinsing a mooncup at the basin, either.

That seems perfectly obvious to me. Other girls' presence is embarassing enough.

Why have schools and vulnerable children been made the frontline of this battle? The possible answers are open to some sinister interpretation.

Oh no. According to my ex friends, children wanting single sex spaces in school only feel that way because their parents are bigots.

So as a child they would be absolutely cool changing/showering after PE with a teenage boy? Sleeping in the same girl guide tent? And they’d be happy for their little girls to change and compete with boys in gymnastics? Lose their place on sports teams? Miss out on sports scholarships?

Yeah, right they would.

🤷 apparently so.
I call bullshit of course.

As a teenage girl I'd have been mortified to have been getting changed in front of boys. It was bad enough doing it in front of other girls

According to my ex friends, children wanting single sex spaces in school only feel that way because their parents are bigots.

It's really worrying and upsetting to think that young girls themselves could feel they are wrong for wanting single sex spaces because of adults imposing this type of accusation on them.

Before I ever discussed anything GC with my 12 year old, she told me the new layout for her school includes mixed bathrooms and changing rooms. She has many concerns about it, the main one being period related.

Ashen as I said, my 11 year old (year 6)
DS is very critical of this.

He completely understands why he needs privacy away from girls and why girls need privacy from boys.
He knows about periods and how they affect girls (I have horrendous ones) and his friend started her period when she was at our house. She panicked and i provided supplies.
She came out of the bathroom bright red, DS told her not to worry and walked her home. He understood that she was embarrassed and Just wanted a bit of privacy and space.

He is angry (after discussing with his teacher) that children are being told they're in the wrong body for not adhering to stereotypes.

I'm hopeful that if enough of us raise our children to question this, it will mean self ID is scrapped.

It's awful that schools are implementing mixed bathrooms and changing rooms.
Children need privacy from the opposite sex.
And I know all too well what teenage boys can be like.
I was literally pinned down by two boys while another put his hand up my skirt. (And I got suspended because I kicked him in the head)
Mixed facilities makes it easier for incidents like that to occur.

Your son sounds lovely royal.

I had a similar experience in school and it's terrifying me that my DD will be in a bathroom with boys as old as 18.

I would hate for it to impact her in the way that she will start to not want to go to school when she has her period, but at the same time completely understand why she might feel that way.

indeed
It is a worry.
My brother is 17 and in sixth form. I can't imagine him sharing a school bathroom with 11 year old girls.

Of course I was meant to bold ashen not indeed then.

It's strange to think of my brother sharing with a young girl, but putting myself in that young girls shoes I can see how they'd be terrified of a six foot tall lumbering idiot waltzed into the bathroom. And he's a good lad! Never mind these who are actually up to no good.

Those poor children
It makes me so sad and angry that these girls are suffering. These children are being put at risk. And for what? To make some men happy?
Fucking shit.

Solidarity, Royal!

It is indeed fucking shit.

That's disgusting. My heart goes out to you HerRoyalFattyness.

Jeez

Whoops... I think I may have caused a family rift!

Their mum just messaged me to apologise on behalf of her daughters and tell me she agrees with me

People who are breaking their necks to be cool and 'inclusive' (shudder) arent thinking about real-life instances - only the highly emotive (dubious) stats on suicide, and 'isn't is terrible that these poor people...'

I have only come across 2 like this in real life. One is single and has no kids or nieces and tries very hard to be cool and Mr Laidback.

The other is an absolute 'Momentum' Corbyn lover - I usually avoid politics as I was brought up in a very old school labour (fairness for all) and don't recognise this lot - but I mentioned in passing when the gymnastics association stated that they would allow male children to change with females - and compete against the girls.

I wasn't making a point (as I haven't the strength) but it obviously clicked as he has a little girl and he is religious these days. He now gets that single-sex spaces are important and that some people - golly-gee-gosh - have bad intentions.

It's amazing isn't it?
I'm so glad my family aren't "woke"
Even my brother, at 17 fully understands the issues around self ID and says drag is just another way for men to belittle women and reduce us to femininity when we are much more than that.

NotTerf
That stat ... did I read correctly that it was based on 27 people? So a very thorough and far reaching study?

But yes OP, I'm sorry for that message. Well done for putting your head above the parapet though that takes lady balls .---- At least you know who's a misogynist in your circle.