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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Teacher's Account - PHSE inc Beastiality and Sex Toys -11/12yr olds

92 replies

OhHolyJesus · 16/01/2020 21:55

From Safe Schools Alliance. Makes me want to home school my kid. Apologies for the formatting.

I am utterly horrified at what was taught at a PSHE lesson at my school recently. It was to a group of children, most are 11-12 years old. It is so, so much worse than I thought.
The topic was LGBT and Diversity. The kids were taught that biological sex is your anatomy (genitals etc), however, male, female and intersex are genders and are on a spectrum. They were told that people can identify however they want -- as male or female. Some people identify as neither; some identify as non-binary. The teachers spoke about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. They explained a lesbian is attracted to ‘other women’, but it was clear that if anyone can identify as a woman then ‘other women’ may actually be men. ‘Cisgender’ was also mentioned and the kids were told that ‘a cisgender person is someone who identifies with the sex they were assigned at birth’. Sex and gender were conflated throughout the lesson and sometimes they were used as synonyms. The kids went home thinking God knows what.
The kids were also told briefly about bestiality, sex toys and masturbation. I really, truly wish that I was kidding. I don’t know who brought up bestiality but the teachers should have shut this down immediately and explained that it is inappropriate, not to mention illegal in the UK. Nothing of the sort. One of the teachers said it was a sexuality whereby some people are attracted to and have sex with animals. It was talked about like it is completely normal. The other things that were taught, were sex toys and masturbation. The kids were told about how people “pleasure themselves”, that some women use a vibrator and some men masturbate to pornography.
I feel disgusted and disheartened. I feel a lesson like that should be reported to the headteacher and the governors but I don’t think it will be dealt with appropriately. The school has form for not taking safeguarding seriously. I feel like I’m going mad and I’m wrong. I know I’m not, but it feels like it. I hope that the parents will say something. They must. Some of the boys [in our school] act a lot older than their age. They are always making inappropriate sexual comments or asking inappropriate sexual questions. I suspect some are also watching pornography online. A couple are obsessed with murder, rape [of girls], suicide and corporal punishment. The sort of PSHE lesson I witnessed will do nothing to challenge their unhealthy attitudes to sex, relationships and women.
We also have a student who is transgender. A girl who identifies as a boy. We were told to use male pronouns to use for her. There was no discussion. I don’t think this is in [the student’s] best interests but I felt unable to say anything. A teacher was reprimanded by a colleague for using ‘she’ for this girl. I [have been] forced to lie to a student. She used ‘she’ for the [transboy] and was told off by a teacher. I am being forced to actively lie. I feel that I cannot safeguard my students effectively. I am worried and scared for the kids-- especially our girls – what they’re being told and being forced to use mixed-sex toilets. At this point, I think that the only thing that will stop all this madness is some poor young girl being harmed. The local council is in meltdown. [We] have sent them two letters. They haven’t responded to the second one but from the response to the first one they don’t see any safeguarding issues. Ofsted and the DfE are on board the trans train. The DfE is funding Mermaids. Who are teachers supposed to turn to?
Teacher, 32, England

OP posts:
terfsandwich · 16/01/2020 22:02

Horrifying. Whistleblow to the press?

RuffleCrow · 16/01/2020 22:12

Nightmare. Yes, whistleblow to the DM & The Times. I think it's also a human rights issue. Children have the right to freedom of conscience, as do teachers.

Hope Starmer gets in as Labour leader - we need a politician who actually understands the law to forensically examine what's going on here. I'm not certain that he will with Momentum breathing down his neck but i have a hunch he's secretly GC and it's reassuring to think that he could.

Aesopfable · 16/01/2020 22:21

She is wrong - it won’t stop because some poor girl was harmed. Women and girls have been harmed and are continuing to be harmed by this ideology.

SarahTancredi · 16/01/2020 22:50

What cc are you? This sounds like the respect yourself campaign that Warwickshire county council apparently dropped .

It contained graphic descriptions of porn terms that kids had no business knowing

Those poor kids Angry

OhHolyJesus · 16/01/2020 22:58

I've posted on AIBU and it got deleted twice for being goady...how is this goady?

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OhHolyJesus · 16/01/2020 22:59

Is this teacher being unreasonable? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3797573-is-this-teacher-being-unreasonable

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SarahTancredi · 16/01/2020 23:03

I dont know why its considered Goady.

Between campaigns parents fought to shut down that were beyond despicable and tv faces openly stating kids should be shown poen In schools it's a very real concern .

But us women on the feminist board should know our place I guess..

Kittens.puppies knitting shoes omg is that Gucci..

OhHolyJesus · 16/01/2020 23:06

I think Lanurk must have reported it - I don't think threads get deleted unless they are reported, maybe that's not accurate.

If the moderators think that a parenting forum shouldn't talk about what children are being taught, based on the account from a teacher, then...well... I guess is better shut up...

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Evenquieterlife33 · 16/01/2020 23:10

That’s horrendous. For anything sex related I think schools should have to provide parents with lesson plans before the classes. If it’s all so normal and just plain old helpful no school should object to that??

SarahTancredi · 16/01/2020 23:10

Ironically the reporting is more given that allowing kids to he exposed to adult porn terminology and descriptions that most find abhorrent has to be allowed to be spoken about along side LGBT issues or LGBT issues cant very covered
, well what does that insinuate for heavens sake. Most lgbt people would agree that it has no place amongst children so what are they even angry about

BuffaloCauliflower · 16/01/2020 23:14

You’re totally right about the sex and gender discussion, but masterbation is normal, kids often start exploring their bodies young and absolutely should know this is ok.

sammybins · 16/01/2020 23:23

beastiality? masturbating to porn? using sex toys at 11 years old? When adults discuss stuff like this with kids, didn't we used to call that 'grooming', and 'sexual abuse'?

OhHolyJesus · 16/01/2020 23:23

But not with sex toys and not about how to do it? That's what you figure out yourself, through self discovery, I mean everyone is different and wants to masturbate in different ways!

I'm all for being told they aren't going to go blind after having a wank! It is normal and children know this, I don't think there needs to be an in depth discussion about it.

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FemaleAndLearning · 16/01/2020 23:25

I agree with EventQuieterLife parents should have access to any resources they use to teach sex and relationships. I believe being honest with kids but seriously 11/12 year olds do not need to know about sexual fetishes e.g. beastiality.

Evenquieterlife33 · 16/01/2020 23:28

Agreed. There are things that adults cannot get into the detail of because the distance must be maintained for decency and safeguarding of kids. You can say it’s normal to masturbate. That’s it . There’s the line. Full stop

OhHolyJesus · 16/01/2020 23:29

Any more details than that Even would be a breach in safeguarding would t it?

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HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 16/01/2020 23:31

Jesus OP, it's like posters are in another dimension in the AIBU thread.

Of course masturbation is completely normal and kids should be taught that exploring your own body is natural and never wrong.

However, there is absolutely no need to discuss sex toys/porn/beastiality ever with children - I can't believe that this even needs to be said. What the fuck is wrong with people - I feel like there is a mass grooming going on of society and hard porn/fetish is so normalised that we think its okay to discuss with children.

snowblight · 16/01/2020 23:34

Any evidence this actually happened?

HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 16/01/2020 23:38

Snow, I think this was posted anonymously so most likely not.

Copperleaves · 16/01/2020 23:39

I'm not sure what the evidence would be? It's an anonymous report, as the teacher won't want to be identified. So we can believe it or not believe it, up to us.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 16/01/2020 23:43

Similar stuff was online as part of a council endorsed PSHE resource, there were threads here about it.

Aesopfable · 16/01/2020 23:44

snow we may not have 'evidence' that this particular lesson was taught beyond what was written here. But why wouldn't you believe it? We know the materials these lessons are taught from are being presented by councils for teaching with.

5zeds · 16/01/2020 23:51

I’d suggest telling the students to show their parents any notes/work from the class. The parents are likely to complain and the issue will be “outed”.

FemaleAndLearning · 16/01/2020 23:56

It sounds like the teacher gave an account to SSA and someone has flagged it up here for discussion. I'm going to email my school to get a list of resources etc. they use. Even if your school's materials are good it is worth getting them so you can be prepared about any follow up questions at home.

It is a worry if teachers are feeling powerless over these materials, I can see it getting worse as we head to September 2020 as there may be lots of organisations jumping on the bandwagon to offer materials to schools or offer to give the lessons.

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