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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

"Mumsnet statement on moderation with regard to..."

771 replies

RaveOnThisCrazyFeeling · 30/12/2019 17:31

@MNHQ, I am wondering if the statement sticky at the top of this section needs a new, more accurate, less misleading title.

A large part of the difficulty that women encounter in discussing these issues comes from the framing of the issue as being about 'trans rights'. This implies that feminists are arguing against the equal rights of trans people, which of course isn't the case at all. It also disregards the fact that women and their rights have any stake in the issues being discussed - it makes it all about trans people having rights, or not having rights, and to the casual, uninformed observer that reinforces the TRA narrative that women are a privileged class denying the rights of oppressed transwomen.

In fact, women are the historically and systemically disadvantaged sex class, and so ha e a very large stake in legal and social understanding of sex and gender.

Might you give some consideration to changing the thread name (and OP as appropriate) to "...discussion of sex and gender" rather than "discussion of trans rights"?

OP posts:
WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 07/01/2020 22:32

I wonder how the office meeting went?

Seeing as people refuse to see or take on board why things might get removed even when posters have said what probably was the problem, I honestly wouldn't blame them if they've just decided to think "fuck it", leave it as it is and drink gin instead Grin

Fieldofgreycorn · 07/01/2020 22:32

I now recognise your username,

You now recognise it, from when, 5 posts ago when you highlighted the other occasion from earlier today?

it was really just intended as a stimulus for discussion

And as my old granny used to say: stimulus my arse.

I’m out of this discussion now.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 07/01/2020 22:35

You now recognise it, from when, 5 posts ago when you highlighted the other occasion from earlier today?

I'm guessing at it was meant in one of those noted ways that tend to get spurted out at posters if they disagree with something

HandsOffMyRights · 07/01/2020 22:36

@MNHQ my first post on this thread.

Bypassing the deliberate derailments, can we change the sticky please as per the OP's request, to relect the feminism board?

Sex and gender, as mentioned several times, gets another vote here.

SawingForTeens · 07/01/2020 22:44

There have been many threads discussing these speech-restrictions, and MNHQ never engage or change their rules

Here's one from a thread from ?last year?:

"My problem with the guidelines - apart from the lack of clarity and consistency - is that they are predicated upon a fallacy.

The fallacy is that it is biologically male trans people who are the vulnerable and oppressed minority, and, ergo, women who are the invulnerable/powerful and oppressive majority.

That is the clear subtext of the opening statement. Trans people are the “vulnerable and oppressed minority”; women - not vulnerable or oppressed - are just cross at having our free speech curtailed.

This denies and disregards entirely the reality of so many women’s lives, not just in the rest of the world but here in the UK. Women as a group are still ourselves vulnerable and oppressed. Despite being just over half the population, we are still a minority when it comes to positions of power and influence, political representation, equal wealth and status; our freedoms and rights are still massively curtailed and blighted by the shocking levels of male harassment, violence and sexual violence against women and girls.

This denial is the TRA narrative, canonised. It’s propaganda, and it’s untrue.

I know Justine made that comment about her life would have been a zillion times harder if she’d been trans. I don’t even understand what she meant. Did she mean if she’d still been a female person who was trans, or a male person who was trans? Because they’re very different realities.

And the reality of the life of the truly vulnerable biologically male trans people - the ones who really do, or did, live their lives in fear of attack and assault (by men), who were/are constant subjects of ridicule, who really couldn’t find a safe place in society - that reality is very different also from the lives of people like “call me Caitlyn” Jenner, Pips Bunce, Dr R McKinnon, Shon Faye etc etc etc.

As a society, we have been so quick to embrace the narrative that biologically male trans people are the most vulnerable, oppressed minority ever; and yet we are in stubborn denial about the extent to which misogyny is still embedded in our culture. (And correspondingly about the extent to which male privilege is enjoyed by all males relative to females.)

The very fact that “transphobia” is now an excommunicable offence in the liberal world of today, while “misogyny” barely elicits a yawn, is a direct result of that male privilege.

We still live in a male-dominated world, a world where it’s written into our everyday language that the default human is male, where male people are vastly over represented in positions of power, the media, the creative industries, sport... everywhere. (Except childcare and “sex work”, of course.)

We still live in a world where women are vulnerable relative to men, where a woman’s word is worth less than a man’s, where all the existing societal structures have been created by and for men.

Women still can’t get justice when we’re raped, sexually assaulted or abused. Or killed in a “sex game gone wrong”. We still disproportionately bear the impact of austerity measures, are still the ones more likely to be the carers if our child has a disability or SEN, still far more likely to be the victims of DV, still have to struggle to make our voices heard in so many settings - remember Obama bringing in that policy of affirming what women were saying in meetings because otherwise they were just being talked over and the credit for their ideas given to men? How many times have we heard women telling the same story right here on MN?

I don’t even know how to begin and end a list of the ways in which women are still negatively impacted by being female in a society which is intrinsically biased against us, and of the ways our female socialisation works against us, it is so extensive and far reaching. Women write whole books about it, FGS. There even used to be entire uni courses about it - till they all became “Gender Studies”, of course. Because heaven forbid we women have anything for ourselves.

This is the backdrop against which a minority group of male people is being positioned as vulnerable and oppressed, and female people as all-powerful oppressors.

This is the backdrop against which women are, once again, being silenced, told to watch our words, told our opinions and the way we express them are unacceptable.

The guidelines say “We don’t allow posts which are derogatory or aggressive towards trans people.” (Nothing about posts which are derogatory or aggressive towards women.)

But this is NOT a conflict between “vulnerable trans” and “powerful women”, with the concomitant expectation of women that they cede some of their “power”, and tread softly around trans vulnerability. That is the lie that has been peddled by trans rights activists, the lie on which the whole edifice rests.

Trans rights activism must necessarily hide and distort the true power relations between the sexes, it must invent the notion of female people having “cis privilege” over biologically male trans people, it must make us out to be the aggressors and trans people our defenceless victims. There is no trans rights activism without this conjuring trick; the reality of the power relations between the sexes is too stark otherwise, to those who would see themselves as liberal and progressive, at least.

This is why we HAVE to be able to talk about and name the sex of those activists. This is why it is pertinent to every single part of the discussion. It is not being “mean” or “uncivil”; it is the single most vital piece of information there is on this topic. MN guidelines say we mustn’t go on about it because it is “an aspect of their identity that they have explicitly rejected”; I say a person’s sex in not an aspect of their identity but a matter of physical and sociological reality, and in terms of this “debate” it is the one thing that MUST be transparent, that HAS to be constantly referred to.

It is women who are under attack here. Female people under attack from male people, male domination of and control over female people, just like the rest of the sodding history of the world.

All the threats of violence - actual, literal, physical violence - have been one way. As have the acts of violence. All the attempts to shut down the “debate”, to silence the opposition - one way. GC feminists have never tried to stop any trans people from speaking; trans rights activists are hell bent on trying to stop women who challenge them from speaking.

What is actually happening to women here is a form of persecution.

There is a concerted attempt by members of the group that already has more power to take away rights and protections from the group that has less power. It is bullying and emotional abuse of women and girls. And, in a classic display of DARVO, we - the genuinely less powerful victims - are being framed as the bullies, the mean girls, the ones who just don’t want to give our “power” up. And then being monstered, threatened, vilified for trying to speak up.

So - not only are we being abused, we are being punished for protesting about our abuse.

That’s what’s going on here. That’s the point that the Guidelines ignore or deny.

This is a familiar pattern for those of us with too much experience of abuse from those with more power than us. Look at what happened to Savile’s victims, the ones who tried to speak out before the world was ready to acknowledge what he was. The girls in the home that he abused, who were punished for saying he’d abused them.

The reason we have to keep referring to the fact that biologically male trans people are male is because that’s the whole crux of the matter. It’s not their “transness” that’s the issue here, that was ever the issue. This isn’t about “transphobia”. The issue is their maleness. And the privilege and power that gives them in relation to those of us who are female.

Why is it that there are literally no ways in which men as a group have been negatively impacted by the current trans rights movement? What rights, freedoms, protections have they lost, do they stand to lose? None whatsoever.

Men who don’t want to share their gym changing rooms with a “transman” don’t have to. Gay men who don’t want to let “transmen” into their sauna don’t have to. Men’s sports records are perfectly safe from biologically female athletes, no matter how much testosterone they take. Male primogeniture was specifically safeguarded and excluded from the GRA.

Men are not being referred to in NHS/charity information as “ejaculators” or “prostate havers”. They can still use the word “man” to describe themselves, without being accused of being exclusionary to anybody.

Unlike their male counterparts, biologically female trans prisoners are not clamouring to be housed with prisoners of the opposite sex - and we all know why that is. It is disingenuous to pretend we don’t.

We live in a world where male people hold the balance of power. Where male people still have power, both physically and socially, over female people. Where female people are still very much the second sex. You cannot take this historical and ongoing reality out of the equation.

There is no symmetry. And because there is no symmetry, it is not and never can be socially just for any male person to “identify into” womanhood/femaleness.

It would be good not to be the second sex on our own forum, in the movement for our own liberation, in our own consciousness. In other women’s consciousness. Obviously MN wasn’t founded to be a feminist rallying point, but the FWR board is intended to provide that space. And MN wouldn’t exist at all without the work of all the feminists who went before.

Come on Justine and MNHQ. Wake up. Please. You will actually one day find yourselves on the right side of history if you do."

We could have written that yesterday. Are we still going to be writing that next year?

LangCleg · 07/01/2020 22:48

Are we still going to be writing that next year?

Yes.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 07/01/2020 22:57

At this point Twitter is allowing freer discussion than MN is, arguably.

2BthatUnnoticed · 07/01/2020 23:19

Freaking hell. If people find posts on mumsnet so upsetting, just block the site FFS.

I would not have commented on that thread myself. But I see a massive double standard here.

There is a thread on reddit of trans persons recalling how they stole clothes from their moms, sisters or wives (!) who did not know or consent. Serious boundary violation involving masturbation, massively offensive to me and many woman. But banal stuff on MN is what is constantly policed.

Women don’t have the social power to police other people’s spaces.

There are nuanced, “totally inoffensive” posts here, but TRAs never engage with those. They specifically look for things that will offend their Twitter following. Talk about white fragility.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 08/01/2020 00:08

Freaking hell. If people find posts on mumsnet so upsetting, just block the site FFS.

Nah, I love MN, I've been here years, I don't love all the posts and opinions on here though (does anyone ever agree with everyone?!) so not about to block (maybe I should though as would get a hell of a lot more done Grin )

There is a thread on reddit of trans persons recalling how they stole clothes from their moms, sisters or wives (!) who did not know or consent. Serious boundary violation involving masturbation, massively offensive to me and many woman
That's Reddit though. Totally different site. They've presumably got their own rules and moderation? (Wouldn't know, know about it but don't really go on it)

GrinitchSpinach · 08/01/2020 00:14

Well that’s a barnburner of a post, Sawing. Hear fucking hear. (And I off I go to copy and save it in case it, like many useful things, disappears...)

Stellwagen · 08/01/2020 00:42

Yes, great post Sawing. Stirring.

FloralBunting · 08/01/2020 01:22

I vividly remember reading that post the first time. It was instant classic, much like Barraker's pronouns are Rohypnol metaphor, and I believe it galvanized many because it highlighted exactly what's going on with great clarity.

And still the issues remain and still the gadflies hover round taking their little bites, and still we persist. Only with much more sunlight as each person detransitions and each transwidow feels she has enough support to say 'hold on a minute...' and each parent realizes Stonewall have been training schools to lie to children, and eventually critical mass is reached and all these smug, creepy misogynists crawled back under their rocks until the next big movement.

Come on, MNHQ. Get ahead of the curve in standing for women's rights. Set the pace and live up to your reputation. What the hell do you really have to lose?

OccasionalKite · 08/01/2020 01:38

Seriously. This is Mumsnet.

There is a dedicated Relationships board, for example, that has the honorable purpose of helping women with the practicalities of getting themselves and any children, out of toxic relationships.

Why is this exact same principle overturned when it comes to men who claim to be women?

Feminism and Women's Rights? Why are men allowed to dictate what women talk about?

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 08/01/2020 01:44

Feminism and Women's Rights? Why are men allowed to dictate what women talk about?

You'd have a point if half the time people on this board weren't trying to police how women ought to be speaking/replying if they aren't automatically agreeing with everything.

FloralBunting · 08/01/2020 01:46

buzz buzz.

OccasionalKite · 08/01/2020 01:48

And yes - the fact that that title hangs there are the top of the page:
"Talk » Feminism chat"
"Mumsnet statement on moderation with regards to trans rights"

"Trans rights". That pinned post emphasises that trans rights are what are important here. On the women's rights board.

Women can fuck right off.

Oh, for fuck's sake - the sole pinned top post on the feminism board, is a post telling women that we cannot speak freely about certain particular things that men are doing, to the serious detriment of women.

OccasionalKite · 08/01/2020 01:50

Ha ha! Rattled, are you, Willis?! Smile

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 08/01/2020 01:59

Ha ha! Rattled, are you, Willis?!

Confused Grin
Nope, not at all lol I was AGREEING with you ya silly billy!
You'd have a point if you weren't complaining that people were doing the exact same thing that people do to others on here, bit pot kettle black

GirlDownUnder · 08/01/2020 02:19

buzz buzz

Grin
MoleSmokes · 08/01/2020 04:36

Two more "unwritten rules" to trip up women wanting to discuss Women's Rights and Feminism - that can get them perma-banned for three infractions in a six week rolling period - that I have learned from this thread:

1. We are not allowed to use the term "Peak Trans".

Seriously??? The name of a blog and website that only came about because a women in her 60's with osteoporosis and multiple shoulder fractures was physically assaulted out of the blue by at least three . . . people . . . only one of whom has, to date, been arrested but who was subsequently convicted of "Assault by Battery".

An event that has arguably contributed greatly to the growth of a mass movement of women in the UK, organising to protect women's rights? (Womens Rights - remember the URL for this Board is "https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/" )

An event in which the physical assault of a women with a past history of supporting trans people has been systematically misrepresented as an attack by a "massive TERF beast" Hmm (all 5 foot whatever of her 60+ year old self) . . . err . . . this small, rather frail woman apparently physically attacked several . . . people . . . some of them pretty hefty-looking 6 footers? Is that why that term is so . . . "offensive"?

Why might some . . . people . . . want that term deemed verboten?

Might it be because if anyone stumbles across that term and wonders what it means and resorts to an internet search engine that they find this?

www.peaktrans.org

or this ?

Please have a think about what you are colluding with @MumsnetHQ when you ban a term like "Peak Trans".

When I was just lurking here it was an unfamiliar term that I first came across on Mumsnet and so I searched and . . . WOW! . . . this happened! THIS is what happens to women when they just want to meet, when they just want to talk, when they just want to listen, when they just want information??

What happens is - they are physically attacked??

You are happy to collude in burying these facts @MumsnetHQ ? What the hell arguments were put to you and that you accepted as reasonable for you to agree to put this into the unwritten rules of women "being nice" to appease people who physically assault women for wanting to discuss Women's Rights?

(That is the URL of this Board remember - "womensrights" - not "transrights"!!).

2. We are not allowed to discuss individuals who put themselves into the public eye if they also happen to be trans

Anyone else - gloves off. If they happen to be trans - special rules apply.

Again - are you serious??

What is so special about trans people? We KNOW that The Big Lie is that trans people are killed/kill themselves more often than any other demographic group. This BS has been debunked so many times. Have you not been paying attention MumsnetHQ?

Reference the recently deleted thread started by OP @Justhadathought which I think was not a derailment in this discussion but went to the heart of it.

The thread deletion message reads:

"Deleted as we try not to let threads pick apart private individuals (even when they're on the telly)."

Err . . . excuse me . . . but is that rule being applied across all Mumsnet Boards in relation to all "private individuals (even when they're on the telly)"?

If not - why not?

Are you at all familiar with the term "double standards" @MumsnetHQ ?

That was a Thread opening a dispassionate, academic, objective discussion about a public performance of "gender" that was very relevant to current discussions. If there were any individual posts that strayed from that objective they could have been deleted. No, the whole discussion was closed down and deleted.

Why?

------

As per my previous post in this thread - the current policy of appeasement of TG interests is doing nothing to "create a more civil and mutually respectful conversation" and everything to make Mumsnet "a place that feels inherently hostile" to anyone who is Gender Critical, both women and trans people who are Gender Critical.

You nailed an insipid, appeasing tri-colour flag to the mast in 2018. When FFS are you going to re-write this, and the unwritten rules, to recognise and respect the women who are being put up against the wall for only seeking to protect women and children? You are called Mumsnet - that is your USP - not "Trans Rights" ??? Hmm

www.mumsnet.com/info/trans-rights-moderation-policy

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 08/01/2020 05:27

I have to point out re Mole's second point that there was a recent AIBU thread in which people were discussing the clothing and appearance of Prince George in great detail. He is a child, and the future King. So, any random trans person apparently deserves more protection from personal commentary than the future monarch, who is currently 6 years old. Which is really quite remarkable.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 08/01/2020 07:03

You beat me to it Kittens, I was just about to reference that very same PG thread, not to mention the dozens of threads which have ripped apart every tiny nuance of how Meghan Markle appears in the media.

I have screenshot Mole’s post (albeit in sections as I’m only on a phone) ahead of the inevitable deletion...

fuckitywhy · 08/01/2020 07:05

"Deleted as we try not to let threads pick apart private individuals (even when they're on the telly)."

Okay. Then apply that to every single person discussed from now on.

GirlDownUnder · 08/01/2020 07:17

I have screenshot Mole’s post (albeit in sections as I’m only on a phone) ahead of the inevitable deletion...

If it helps, you can archive MN pages by copying the URL and pasting in to archive.li/

An MN page can sometimes take a while to archive because there is so much code.

I’ve archived this page here archive.li/cakvx so we have at least Sawings and Moles posts.

Just in case, because ya know, accidents happen, and someone’s finger might slip and hit the delete button.

fuckitywhy · 08/01/2020 07:18

When you think about it, every thread, on every person, is about a "private individual". Do people have a right to ask any questions about anyone?

Could an irate spouse who's discovered a thread demand that it is taken down and the user banned? That person has a right to not be discussed after all, even if we don't know their name.

I didn't see the thread mentioned but the logical extension of that ban message rule is "don't say anything about anyone".

Swipe left for the next trending thread