Body positive book for toddlers!

[WomanBornNotWorn]

Great idea - helping small children

mobile.twitter.com/Transgendertrd/status/1199056010520023040

A bit of a shame to derail yet another thread based on your assumptions about a book that you haven't read Hooves ?

It's a lovely heartwarming book and any parent can safely read it with their children. Well done Transgender Trend.

Sure, it's complex. And luckily, most pre-schoolers have parents or carers who can attend to their picture book needs and provide them with a range of books that entertain and that help them come to terms with their own experiences.

So long as people with objections to 'this' book, are also objecting to all children's books positive about children's bodies, that don't adequately deal with the complexity of disability and disease in 'other' books, then all is well.

It's also fricking complex when your teen wants to cut their penis off. I encourage all parents of pre-schoolers to start sending their children the message that this book endorses - one body(self), no other body(self), bodies (selves) can be appreciated, used, respected, even when the body (self) is difficult, because one body, no other body, and all else is fantasy.

I bought it straight from transgender trend, and will buy a couple more copies for friends.

I presumed Hooves must actually like this book as she has been determined to keep this thread at the top of the board.

There is a whole realm of other issues this book doesn’t adequately cover that we could now go on to discuss to keep the thread at the top to promote this book: Brexit, religion, how to undermine democracy through backroom lobbying...

Uncompromisingwoman

So why couldn't someone, when I first asked the question, in fact even now just post an example of how disability is dealt with in the book?

If it's so lovely and so positive what's wrong with giving an example?

The feelings of children with disabilities towards their bodies are very complex. Their bodies are different and special but also cause them pain and let them down.

Thank you. Precisely what I've been trying to say. I don't think those feelings can be waived away with a simple "love your body".

Weebarra - I think I understand.

But I think the focus of Transgender Trend in publishing this book was to try to the stem the trend of socially and medically transitioning children whilst they are still discovering who they are - let kids have the space to explore themselves and their sexuality, most importantly find their identity.

And by identity I mean who they are, what they like, what they're good at doing, what hobbies they enjoy, what they want to read, do they like cats or dogs or horses or none, do they like girls or boys, do they prefer (if a girl) wearing their hair long or short. Do they like grime or do they like indie music.
Before throwing puberty "blockers" at them, castrating, providing hysterectomies, mastectomies at them because they haven't worked out what they "are" yet and life is so awful and confusing for children growing up right now.

I can see how this book might not be quite right for your children though - and you must find all of these conversations quite depressing.
Perhaps Rachel and Jessica may be able to write something for you and others in your situation 💐

We have posted an example. The author has as her Twitter banner an image of a child in a wheelchair taking part in a tug of war. I have already described this image.

It's probably more about free expression and freedom to like and dislike different things. That clothes are the costume of your body, not actually you. Whereas today's children are brought up to think that their clothes and style matter more than them. It shows how interchangeable this is. And that bodies come in different

This this this 💕

@drspouse which example is this? Sorry - Mumsnet app is not playing nicely

But I think the focus of Transgender Trend in publishing this book was to try to the stem the trend of socially and medically transitioning children whilst they are still discovering who they are - let kids have the space to explore themselves and their sexuality, most importantly find their identity.

I asked this earlier though and it was refuted. If that's what it's about why can't people be honest about it?

The author has as her Twitter banner an image of a child in a wheelchair taking part in a tug of war. I have already described this image.

Ok? I'm not disputing that children with disabilities take part in sport.

My original point was that it's understandable that children with a disability may not feel positive about their body, they might not love it, particularly when it affects what they can and cannot do in their life. Why must we have to deny our reality in order to counter the trans issues being raised in schools? Can children, or adults with disabilities, not speak honestly about their bodies, their feelings about their bodies, their sadness or disappointment about their body just in case another child may or may not have gender dysphoria?

Can children, or adults with disabilities, not speak honestly about their bodies, their feelings about their bodies, their sadness or disappointment about their body just in case another child may or may not have gender dysphoria?

Is it really the case that all matches, all heat, all warmth, all light everywhere must be banned - that indeed, the very Sun itself must be blacked out and dimmed - in order that all these strawmen not catch fire?

No kantastic all lights don't have to be dimmed but why do disabilities have to be co opted to prove some kind of a point in relation to children who want to transition?

If the authors want to make the point about the sex we are born with is fixed but that other social constructs are flexible why not make that point on its own?

I'm not sure why sex and disability and race have to be compared with each other?

And to say that is a straw man is saying what about children with disabilities?

I'm a bit that it goes straight into 'liking pink' and 'liking blue'. Why choose the colours that are associated with stereotyped gender roles? Can we not escape the pink/blue dichotomy?

It sounds like a great book otherwise but I have to admit I sighed a bit inside, partly because I have been steering my DS away from making a big deal about 'liking pink'.

You really like to occupy women's attention with pointless repetitive nonsense don't you? I feel like I've been roped into the "throw your sippy cup on the floor" game. But here, I'll answer your questions.

why do disabilities have to be co opted to prove some kind of a point in relation to children who want to transition
this is not happening
If the authors want to make the point about the sex we are born with is fixed but that other social constructs are flexible why not make that point on its own why not make that point on its own?
the authors are not making that point and i believe very few toddlers would enjoy reading your proposed essay.

I'm not sure why sex and disability and race have to be compared with each other?
no one's doing that
And to say that is a straw man is saying what about children with disabilities?
absolutely sweet FA.

So a pp said this

Acceptance and celebration of our bodies - even with what are sometimes seen as failings - seems like a generally good thing to me.

Is this not what the book is about?

I really don't see that hooves.
You're right, some children with some disabilities might hate their bodies. It might cause them too much pain and the idea of loving it may seem ridiculous and unrelatable. I'm not educated enough on the matter to get into a philosophical debate with you about this specific matter however I will say I don't feel such a debate is suitable for a small childs books.
But let's say you publish such a book as you describe, it would make some disabled children with some disabilities rather needlessly depressed when they are capable of some self-acceptance and self-love. Can you see how even what you describe would be also terrible for some disabled children? Because there are people out there with different frames of references than you. Some black children may live in places where they are beaten due to their skin colour, it may seem impossible to love their body. Shall we just have an all-white able bodied book about children accepting themselves?

This book is not about developing an existential crisis in small children, it's about love, acceptance of how you're born and how others are born. Yes, it highlights the very best. Disabled children joining in how they can, there is a picture of a boy in a wheelchair holding one end of a skipping rope. He is happy, in acceptance he can't jump and joining in how he can. But you're right, not every disabled child can join in that much or at all. But many can.
I think a book that's message is 'your disability is a bit shit. You can't join in, you're different, you're body is failing' is going to cause more harm to disabled children on a whole than 'love who you are and join in how you can, because you've only got one body.'

ThreeLittleDuckies

Well of course I don't want to have a book that says that. Where did that come from?

Why does not saying that you must love your body despite disability mean that you say your disability is a bit shit?

My point is does this book shut down a child's ability to say that they aren't happy because they are left out or can't join in or because they are in pain because they are being told that they should be happy with their lot?

The picture you describe of the boy in the wheelchair holding the skipping rope just ranckles with me. I was that child (not in a wheelchair but forced to be the by stander).and it didn't make me happy because I wanted to join in fully, not enable other children to have the fun while I just had to watch. I don't know, it just feels a bit like children with disabilities are being exploited by this book or patronised in some way. That it's saying don't feel sad that you can't join in with the skipping, enjoy turning the rope so that the other children can enjoy skipping because what's important is accepting your body just as it is.

Maybe it is important for children with disabilities to accept their bodies so that they don't grow into people like me but is a book like this the way to achieve it?

Oh for the love of God, can you start a s/o thread Hooves, please, if you must continue to hyperfocus on the hypothetical (so far as you know, because you haven't, and won't read it) dangers of this book ?

I would be quite interested to read a BROAD discussion of how disability and illness is or isn't treated in children's literature, but hyperfocusing on one picture book out of all the picture books released in 2019 - and one you haven't seen or read - seems pretty fucking rude to me.

I mean, what do you want women to say ? "Terrible book, we must be sure that toddlers know that sometimes they were given the wrong body! 'Cos that's a fucking lie. Nobody gets the wrong body. Not even you.

I mean, what do you want women to say ? "Terrible book, we must be sure that toddlers know that sometimes they were given the wrong body! 'Cos that's a fucking lie. Nobody gets the wrong body. Not even you.

Except that I haven't said any of that nor said anyone else should say it.

Why can't children (and it's meant for age 3 - 6 isn't it, so not toddlers really) have it acknowledged that they may not be happy with their bodies if their bodies cause them pain or to miss out on doing the things that they want to do? It's like no one can now say they aren't happy with any part of their body for fear that it will be seen to encourage someone else to transition.

Why must people with a disability feign happiness if they aren't in order to possibly stop someone else from transitioning?

If the book is meant to be about acceptance then doesn't that mean accepting the true person, not the person you hope they are? If a child with a disability is sad because they can't run around at school but are offered an operation that might help them achieve that should they refuse the surgery because you want them to accept the body they are born with? This all encompassing "accept your body as it is" is problematic when you apply it across an entire population.

Write the book. Seriously. Disabled and unwell children need books that speak to their specific experiences, as well as to the more general experience of being a child in a reality-denying, body-hating culture. If there's a gap in the market for that book, write it. When it's done and published, tell me, and Il'll get it stocked in the shop I work in. Or if there is a book out there that already does the above wonderfully, again, tell me the name and I'll stock it.

There is room for this book too! Our kids are growing up in a body-hating, reality-denying culture, that has become more and more narrow in what it allows certain kinds of bodies to be and do.

It's a real stretch to say that this book, which again, you haven't read! is telling children with physical disability they can't utilise medical care to improve their physical functioning.

I am done with discussing this book with you now. I think I've been more than fair. I hope you will consider moving any further conversation you want on disability representation in children's literature more generally elsewhere.

Oh for the love of Gaia!

Seriously. Disabled and unwell children need books that speak to their specific experiences,

I agree but I wouldn't presume to be an expert on all forms of disability nor on anyone's experience apart from my own.

OK. So no-one should write any children's books at all, and if they do, they should ceetainly be sure to mention that no child, other than those experiencing the authors exact life, health and body circumstances, should read it. AKA fiction is dead, long live the tedious memoir, sorry kids, no story for you tonight.

ARRGGHHH. You've done my head in, Hooves. I'm not sure if that was your intention or not, but if it was, congrats, you suceeded.

Honestly, have you ever been to a book launch ? What you've done here is kinda the equivalent of crashing a launch and spending the entire party bailing the celebrating people up telling them how bad the book is. It's very rude behaviour.

It's a real stretch to say that this book, which again, you haven't read! is telling children with physical disability they can't utilise medical care to improve their physical functioning.

Apparently it shows a kid with a broken arm. I wonder if the kid is wearing a cast, or whether, as one might expect from the rather idio(syncra)tic interpretation of body positivity being pushed on this thread, the kid's arm is just flopping around all bent in the wrong place.

I rather suspect the former, and that the kid is shown wearing a cast, despite the mean, evil message of body acceptance that would indicate you just have to accept your broken arm as it is and let it dangle and be extremely sad about it.

OK, I probably shouldn't have laughed at that last para, Kantastic, but I did. Thanks for the chuckle.