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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Half of all women will be carers by age 46

147 replies

Kit19 · 21/11/2019 07:59

I work in this field and am not remotely surprised. The entire care system would collapse without family carers - men become carers too of course but generally at a later age and more likely to care for partners rather than parents

OP posts:
5zeds · 24/11/2019 10:30

There’s no need to apologies @BadgertheBodger I think people naturally go on the attack when they think you are refusing to see oppression.

I’m often quite uncomfortable posting on the feminist boards because my primary interest isn’t so much feminism but exploring how that is reflected in the disabled communities fight to be heard, seen, valued, and respected. It sometimes feels wrong to be doing that and sometimes fine.

I do find the need to characterise each other as feminist/mysoginist/slave to the patriarchy/card carrying feminist, unhelpful. (I’m not saying that’s what you were doing, but it is a vibe that I think holds back thoughtful exploration of ideas here sometimes). I think we are all a mixture of those things.

In this instance I don’t think it’s the predominantly female population that’s key I think it’s the dependents and attitudes to them.

As far as quick access to care goes, that’s not the case here at all. I have heard the same sort of thing expressed about long term care of the severely disabled too. Along the lines of “there’s plenty of support available if you access it correctly”. It’s bollocks. There is almost NO support available and what IS available is often inadequate to the point of being unsafe. I would like to believe it’s better elsewhere but I don’t.

EverardDigby · 24/11/2019 10:38

As far as quick access to care goes, that’s not the case here at all. I have heard the same sort of thing expressed about long term care of the severely disabled too. Along the lines of “there’s plenty of support available if you access it correctly”. It’s bollocks. There is almost NO support available and what IS available is often inadequate to the point of being unsafe. I would like to believe it’s better elsewhere but I don’t.*

At least we all seem to agree on this!

(Though it's not obviously a good thing that it's all so crap)

AuntyElle · 24/11/2019 10:53

“Yes there are teams at the council who provide care in emergency situations while a care package is waiting to be set up with an agency.“

ukgift, excellent. I’ve been in this situation twice in the last year, so can you be more specific, give details? As despite spending hours talking to an emergency social worker, hospital social worker, ASIST, the reablement service and district nursing, there was no provision for this. NONE. The social worker phoned over 10 local care agencies to try to get a few days cover. Most of whom I’d already called.

And the problem wasn’t because I was unable/unwilling to step in. I was fully available, but my dad needed a full hoist so two people were needed four times per day. That was the hospital’s criteria for discharge.

So please share the solution as I expect to be in this situation again. Cheers!

AnotherEmma · 24/11/2019 12:33

"I’m often quite uncomfortable posting on the feminist boards because my primary interest isn’t so much feminism but exploring how that is reflected in the disabled communities fight to be heard, seen, valued, and respected. It sometimes feels wrong to be doing that and sometimes fine."

I don't see why you would post in the feminism boards if you're not interested in discussing things from a feminist perspective and you want to reframe things as being about disability. We can discuss both, that's absolutely fine, but if you claim that it's not a feminist issue at all, and disability is the only issue, it's not surprising that people are going to object. It would be very annoying if all the feminism chat threads got derailed by people with their own agenda claiming it's not a feminist issue.

5zeds · 24/11/2019 16:10

It’s ok @AnotherEmma I received you don’t want me posting here loud and clear earlier in the thread.

My primary (not only) interest is disability rights and I find the feminist board in part well thought, debated and interesting. I don’t agree in this instance with the conclusions others are drawing but I’m still interested in their thoughts. One of the strengths of MN is its lack of barriers to interaction.

AnotherEmma · 24/11/2019 17:14

Well anyone is free to post wherever they want (within the talk guidelines), but as far as I'm concerned, it wouldn't bother me if you weren't dismissing the fundamental argument that this is a feminist issue.

5zeds · 24/11/2019 17:30

I’m a big girl. I think I can cope with you feeling “bothered” that I won’t blindly follow whatever you dream is an appropriate feminist response on any issue.

As an aside I didn’t dismiss any fundamental arguments, I asked a question, and gave my opinion. Hardly board wrecking or particularly contentious.

HeIenaDove · 24/11/2019 17:37

www.theguardian.com/society/2019/nov/23/million-families-cut-universal-credit-benefits-debts

More than a million households on universal credit – 60% of everyone receiving the payments –are having their benefits cut to repay debts and loans.

Data sourced under the Freedom of Information Act show that in May – the most recent month for which figures are available – 1,048,000 universal credit claimants had a deduction of their benefit payment out of 1,759,000 claimants who received any universal credit payment that month.

The figures exclude deductions for fraud and sanctions. Nearly a third of all people on the troubled welfare scheme are having more than a fifth of their payment cut, often to repay loans that some claimants received to tide them over during the five-week wait for their first payment to arrive

Charlotte Hughes, an anti-austerity campaigner who provides support and advice to benefit recipients, said universal credit deductions come up as an issue in her work every day. “Everyone is being hit by deductions in one way, shape or form. I don’t know anybody that actually receives the full amount of money that they’re supposed to get.”

She added that many claimants were having to use food banks as a result. “Your health suffers, your housing situation suffers, you can’t eat properly, you worry, you stress. It’s just never-ending.”

Gillian Guy, chief executive of Citizens Advice, said: “Our evidence shows many people on universal credit are struggling to make ends meet, and that deductions are contributing to this.” She said the government should introduce affordability tests when recouping debts from claimants.

The government’s flagship welfare scheme rolls six benefits into one, but has been beset by problems and is years behind schedule. Government adverts promoting it were banned as misleading earlier this month.

Your health suffers, your housing situation suffers, you can’t eat properly, you worry, you stress. It’s never-ending
Charlotte Hughes, anti-austerity campaigner
The shadow work and pensions secretary, Margaret Greenwood, said: “This is yet more evidence of just how badly universal credit is failing. Harsh, punitive Conservative policies that take no account of what it is like to live on a low income are pushing people into poverty rather than protecting them from it. Labour will scrap universal credit, end the five-week wait and the benefits freeze and ensure that our social security system supports any of us in time of need.”

A separate freedom of information request shows that universal credit claimants who are having their benefits deducted to repay debts and loans owe an average of £903. About 570,000 households owe more than £1,000, including 80,000 people owing more than £5,000.

Guardian Today: the headlines, the analysis, the debate - sent direct to you
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The largest deductions are often due to overpaid tax credits, incurred when claimants earned more than expected under the existing tax credit system. Many of these debts date back many years

Minutes of a meeting of welfare rights advisers in October 2018 show that Neil Couling, the head of the universal credit programme, “admitted that the government over the last 18 months has demanded a push to recover old debt and has provided UC with extra funds to do this”.

Sarah, from Lancashire, is one claimant affected by this “push”. Unable to work for health reasons, she lives with her partner and daughter. The government has been deducting more than £100 a month from her universal credit payment, mostly to repay tax credit overpayments dating back to 2009. The level of the deduction changes each month, as does the amount of benefit she receives, making it impossible for her to budget.

“If I owe money I’ll pay it back,” she said. “I have no qualms about paying money back that I owe. But my argument is, ‘Why are they taking such a big chunk of my money?’ Over £150 some months – that’s a lot of money. That’s like two weeks’ worth of shopping, that they’re taking off me and we are running out of food.”

She started claiming universal credit in 2017 after leaving full-time work to become a part-time paid carer for her uncle. A car accident and subsequent diagnosis with osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia forced her out of paid work altogether

The deductions are forcing her to borrow from her family. “We’re robbing Peter to pay Paul. We get our money today, we get our food shopping, we always make sure our bills and everything are paid first, and then we pay back whoever we owe. So we end up with no money left.”

On top of her tax credit debts, she is also having £50 a month deducted for a loan that she never borrowed. After the Observer spoke to the Department for Work and Pensions about Sarah’s case, it accepted that the loan deduction was a mistake and pledged a refund, while agreeing to discuss recovering the tax credit debts at a more affordable rate.

The DWP said: “Safeguards are in place to ensure that deductions are affordable, and in October we reduced the standard maximum deduction rate from 40% to 30% of the standard allowance. If someone is in financial difficulty because of deductions they can ask us to look again at their claim.”

HeIenaDove · 25/11/2019 01:38

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AuntyElle · 25/11/2019 08:57

@ukgift2016, I really hope that you’re going to come back to the thread and give more details about the council teams that provide emergency bridging care?

HeIenaDove · 25/11/2019 15:56

WTF It was an article about an investigation into a care home.

5zeds · 26/11/2019 06:15

I read the article before it disappeared. I’m not clear what point you were trying to make with either article? I assumed you’d posted on the wrong thread by accident.

ukgift2016 · 26/11/2019 06:39

@AuntyElle I do not know the full circumstances of your situation. From your post I am guessing your dad was in the hospital when this was happening, appears they were trying to source a care package before he left. This would not meet a crises team response as he is in the hospital and can stay there until a POC can be found.

EverardDigby · 26/11/2019 07:30

UkGift my DF wasn't in hospital, maybe you could read my response to you earlier in the thread and tell me what I should have done differently.

ukgift2016 · 26/11/2019 07:57

@EverardDigby I DID respond to you. Your father would not be prioritized for emergency support either based on the little information you have given me.

isabellerossignol · 26/11/2019 08:17

Nope it does not work like that, if someone needs support then support can be set up very quickly.

Carry on being martyl but the support is there.

So when you posted this, you didn't really mean it?

EverardDigby · 26/11/2019 08:44

ukgift I sent you a further reply seeing out in more detail exactly the reasons I said I couldn't look after my dad 1. my mum was in a life threatening situation in hospital, 2. I am a lone parent with no one else to look after Dd, 3. I have a potentially life threatening cardio vascular condition myself.

If these are not good enough reasons to get support, what exactly would be?

Bear in mind my dad was dead six weeks after this conversation so it's not exactly that I was exaggerating his need.

AuntyElle · 26/11/2019 11:50

No, ukgift2016. He was out of hospital, first agency placement broke down (unsafe practices) and I was calling council, SS, ASIST, GP etc to find a few days cover before the next agency could start. This is the situation you described. There was no provision available. Zero.

Genuinely, if this temporary emergency care exists, please share how to access it. Who to contact.

AuntyElle · 28/11/2019 12:27

Genuinely, ukgift2016, I would really appreciate your response. I am terrified that my dad’s care provision will break down over Christmas, and as he is emotionally abusive to me I am no longer willing to step in and do personal care which involves multiple episodes of double incontinence every day.
We have tried a few agencies, towards the top of the market, and they are not reliable. We have been sent a carers who were literally dangerous, eg in using a full hoist, and in encouraging dad to do things beyond what was safe and recommended in his care plan. Once the agency could not provide a replacement due to snow restricting trains.

If, as you say, ukgift2016, there is some emergency provision from the council that I can try to access in that situation, then please provide details. 🙏🏼

EverardDigby · 29/11/2019 05:55

Yes @ukgift2016 I'm still waiting too.

ConfessionsOfTeenageDramaQueen · 29/11/2019 07:07

My mum is effectively a part-time carer for her mother (who thankfully now has a full-time carer) despite having 2 brothers. They just left it to her to do.

I 100% know my brother will do the same to me. I can see it already.

Unlike childbirth, caring isn't only something women can do.

The older I get the more of a feminist I feel myself becoming.

EverardDigby · 29/11/2019 08:37

My brother does some stuff, nowhere near as much as me, and he only does it to fit in with his schedule, but creates more work for me by wanting me to tell him what to do!

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