Half of all women will be carers by age 46

[Kit19]

I work in this field and am not remotely surprised. The entire care system would collapse without family carers - men become carers too of course but generally at a later age and more likely to care for partners rather than parents

Do you think though, that it is precisely because it is disproportionately women who are carers, it affects how society perceives? Do you think if it were mostly men who took on caring responsibilities that it would be undervalued, not supported through the welfare system etc. Would it be seen to be of much higher value?

If women weren't absorbing a disproportionate share of caring duties, which are statistically half men's problem to sort out, and made men take half of the responsibilities I do think there would be more will to put support structures in place.

I don’t think anybody cares what sex carers are. I think they care about keeping their heads down so they are not asked to pay for support.

No one cares because they are mostly women!
It is a feminist issue.

I don’t think anybody cares what sex carers are. I think they care about keeping their heads down so they are not asked to pay for support.

I don't agree with this, I think if male company directors and executives were being called away more to deal with caring duties rather than relying on wives and sisters etc. things would be very different.

I don’t think employment works like that. If you keep being called away to care, you lose your job or fail to progress. It doesn’t matter what’s in your pants. It’s a “disability” issue not particularly a feminist issue.

Ah one of those people who is blind to patriarchy.
Fine then, it doesn't exist, racism doesn't exist either, aren't we all so lucky!

Or I just don’t agree in this instance?

I’m sure you know far more than I do, after all what possible experience could I be bringing to the discussion? What a thoroughly odd and unpleasant view to express.

I must OF COURSE be blind to male privilege, and unaware of racism, otherwise I would meekly agree, despite lived experience, that the crushing effect of dehumanising and devaluing our disabled population isn’t the problem. It’s ALL about who has the vagina. I’m not sure I’m the one showing my blinkers here.

I don’t think employment works like that. If you keep being called away to care, you lose your job or fail to progress

But if it happened to men more they'd be more invested in dealing with the problem, and as it's still mainly men heading up companies and in Parliament they have more power to do something about it.

I must OF COURSE be blind to male privilege, and unaware of racism, otherwise I would meekly agree, despite lived experience, that the crushing effect of dehumanising and devaluing our disabled population isn’t the problem. It’s ALL about who has the vagina.

It can actually be both.

Scary. I was forced out of the workplace for a long time as a single parent to two children, couldn't afford the right childcare. Only back in the workplace 3 years really and I will not be jeopardising my job when my parents need care. My brother will be forced to step up. He will NOT be going in to his well paid important job every day leaving me to do it.. I will not. This is my time. I am a single parent with two children to put through university and an x who doesn't pay maintenance and I've no pension. It cannot happen (me giving up my job).

Yes it can be @EverardDigby , I don’t think it is, but unlike you I can hold a different opinion to you without needing to draw any conclusions about your views on male privilege or racism. Shall we paint me as stupid, anti-Semitic and rich too? None of it is true or necessary for the discussion in hand but it does mean you don’t have to discuss why you think it’s a particularly feminist issue. So all good

I didn't say anything about racism nor am I making you agree with me, I'm discussing the issue in relation to gendered social structures on the feminism board, not quite sure why you're taking that approach to me.

Apologies I meant @AnotherEmma

I’m sorry I conflated both your voices.

So what IS it (beyond numbers) that makes you feel this is a particularly female issue?

It's the economy of the family unit.

It's USUALLY the woman who earns less.

It's USUALLY the woman feels she OUGHT to do the caring.

It's USUALLY the man who expects that his wife will do it.

So, no one thing, but all of the tendencies. The perfect shit storm of lower pay, social conditioning, guilt, women being devalued by society as they age.

I know in my family, I will be seen as heartless for not jeopardising my job but my brother will not be seen as heartless for not stepping away from his job. Because his job is so much more important than mine. He earns more certainly. But I value my job.

I'm aware that when the time comes, it's going to be hard to withstand the pressures.

Also, I have actually done a stint in a nursing home. I have cared for my children. I'm probably better suited to caring. It will be hard.

And I'm not unusual. These families dynamics are not unusual.

Why aren't the numbers sufficient, @5zeds? A much greater proportion of the work that women do is unpaid. What else do you need?

I think it's the same or at least a similar issue as childcare in general, the workplace is still structured as you said so that only people without significant caring responsibilities are able to get on, and those of us that can't just stay behind every night, have the ability to drop everything for work in a crisis or busy period, travel, carry the mental load required without needing to worry about what's going on at home etc. struggle to progress. And those people who are able to get on tend on the whole to be men, and the people at home facilitating their family life tend to be women. I think there are a few issues here, firstly work could be structured differently with different expectations - in Scandinavia I understand you're considered incompetent if you work long hours as it's viewed that you can't get your work done in the time available - that's quite a different culture from here. Secondly women are socialised to be more caring, both in relation to thinking it's important in the first place, but secondly in understanding and being capable in what's done. And thirdly I think we're judged more harshly (and possibly more likely to take that judgement to heart because of course being caring is part of our female role so we're failing as women if we put our careers first) - I certainly feel that people expect me to do more than my brother for my parents, well actually parent as one just died, and actually fourthly, which is probably connected with 2 and 3, it's me that everyone contacts rather than my brother, though he could do all the family coordination just as well.

I think we just said the same thing bonkers though your post was better structured!

"the crushing effect of dehumanising and devaluing our disabled population isn’t the problem. It’s ALL about who has the vagina"

As Everard rightly said, it can be both.

Turns out some posters don't like us to point out that certain issues are feminist issues because they primarily affect women... hmm, if that's your stance, maybe don't post in feminism chat?!

Yes there are higher number of women caring for their parents BUT that is their CHOICE. Men are better at putting in boundaries.

If women refused take on the bulk of the caring, adult social care would have to step in to replace that care. I will never waste years of my life being a full time carer, I want to maintain a parent-daughter relationship with my parents that does not depend on a caring role.

Absolutely, yes, yes to all of that @EverardDigby

Luckily, my parents are still ok, but with a long stint of 100% responsibility for childcare behind me, I know that that my situation is RARE for men and yet depressingly common for women.

It's depressing that people feel they have to explain why this is a feminist issue tbh. Anything that disproportionately affects women is a feminist issue.

Some choice. I do think women would benefit from refusing to step up, but the thing is, it'd be their OWN parents suffering from that ''protest''. The protest would be good for women in the future but the short term repercussion of the protest would be their own mother or father suffering.

Exactly @slightlyBonkersQFA

Unpaid care is mostly provided by women with the state relying on them to carry out care tasks so that their relatives don’t need to be cared for by the state

Paid care workers ads also disproportionately female & get paid ab appallingly low wage. Caring is seen as women’s work ie the stuff they should do cos women so no need to provide decent wages, working conditions and pension provision

That’s why it’s a feminist issue