I spotted a preferred pronouns badge in the wild

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

I was in a shop today when I noticed that the person behind the till was wearing a big badge in the trans flag colours with the words "They Them" on it. It's the first time I've seen one of these and it just set me to wondering what the point of them actually is.

If I'm participating in a retail transaction with a shop assistant, I'm not going to be using their third person pronouns. At most, I might say "you", as in "Could you put it in a bag, please?", but surely I'd only say "he/she/they" if I was talking about that person to someone else? Perhaps I've missed something, but it seems like a way of drawing attention to one's special status in a situation where people might otherwise not notice.

And anyway, if I hadn't spent so much time reading about this stuff on MN, I would probably have assumed that They Them was the name of some band that I hadn't heard of. There was The The back in the day, after all...

I was just reading the biogs of some a actors in a tv series. One plays a non binary character (which I thought was supposed to be female at first but hey)... I had to rub my eyes at this quote though...

(It’s confusing when they are constantly referred to as ‘they’ in interviews though...)

“I looked up the word ‘Female’ to discover for the first time the phrase, ‘Assigned female at birth, assigned sex at birth,’ and I thought, Oh my gosh, we’re all assigned a sex at birth based on a quick glance at our external genitalia and then gender roles, gender stereotypes, gender expectations are placed on top of that.”

“(Actor) described this as “a real light bulb moment,” which helped them realize, “Oh my god, I have an assigned sex but that doesn’t define my gender identity.”

ACE IS GREAT presumably refers to asexuality on those Walker Art Gallery colouring pages. Why the living fuck do children need to know what that even is??

I know!!!! So so inappropriate. The young staff looked a bit embarrassed when I made that point but stuck to their guns regardless.

Pan is the plan is the most worrying, encouraging children to aim for having no sexual orientation/boundaries

“Oh my god, I have an assigned sex but that doesn’t define my gender identity.”

Do these people realise that none of us conform to gender stereotypes? Or have they never drawn their eyes away from their own navels for long enough to notice what anyone else is doing?

Pan is the plan is the most worrying, encouraging children to aim for having no sexual orientation/boundaries

Plan...chart, map, whatever...

@ShesDressedInBlackAgain This Is The Day has to be my favourite tune, ever

Scouse Brow in the video would have just been emo 10 or 15 years ago. This is in part what happens when all the normal youth subcultures have vanished.

I must admit the OP’s original question is what comes up for me when I think of the ‘preferred pronouns’ badge. At what stage of oddness would one be at to refer to someone in the third person in their presence? I must further admit it’s the lack of grammar in ‘they’ and ‘their’ that makes me twitch - I’m looking around for the other person. That aside, if someone wishes to be known by particular names or pronouns, it is courteous to comply, and in the spirit of good manners and respect to do so. I don’t like it when my choice of Ms as a title is not respected, or I’m addressed as Mrs DH’s surname.

if someone wishes to be known by particular names or pronouns, it is courteous to comply, and in the spirit of good manners and respect to do so.

Good manners and politeness? Fuck that.

fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/

LordPrifFekko and ErrolTheDragon
Re Baby in Board badges, do you mean the ones suggested here tfl.gov.uk/transport-accessibility/baby-on-board ?

The ones that are very helpful and commonly used on the tube at rush hour to make it more bearable for pregnant women?

Or was it some others that you were sneering at?

Bezalelle. Thank you for the link. I won’t engage in a debate about preconceptions around words and meanings. I will suggest we detach the abuse of power within patriarchy from biological sex - I would, for example, argue that Thatcher was very much part of the patriarchy.

I’ll continue to respect how someone wishes to be described, until and unless I have evidence their choices are somehow damaging to me.

if someone wishes to be known by particular names or pronouns, it is courteous to comply

Death by a thousand cuts.

There's nothing courteous about guilt tripping people into lying, especially not when there's an implied threat behind it.

I don’t sneer, I comment and make observations.

BlouseAndSkirt
Yes, that's the ones I was thinking of when I said they could be useful, I wasn't 'sneering'

if someone wishes to be known by particular names or pronouns, it is courteous to comply

Names, yes. Pronouns, no.

A name relates to the individual. It is 'theirs'.

Pronouns relate to the speaker. If they belong to anyone, they belong to the speaker, not to the person the speaker is describing.

TLDR: What Bezalelle said.

I know this is an English language board, and the difficulties with ESOL have been mentioned, but does this question on preferred pronouns come up in other languages? Especially those with gendered nouns?

We are all being"encouraged"to go pick up ours from the student Union on campus to "show our empathy and inclusion of the trans community".

I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than go into the SU generally so I remain resolutely badge less. I'm sure the push to wear them will get more forcible as time goes on since no one seems to be jumping into it at present (our bunch generally lack sufficient motivation to be very woke)

How large is this timid and unassuming community - and I mean the real community not the stonewall version (which seems to be pretty much everyone)?