I spotted a preferred pronouns badge in the wild

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

I was in a shop today when I noticed that the person behind the till was wearing a big badge in the trans flag colours with the words "They Them" on it. It's the first time I've seen one of these and it just set me to wondering what the point of them actually is.

If I'm participating in a retail transaction with a shop assistant, I'm not going to be using their third person pronouns. At most, I might say "you", as in "Could you put it in a bag, please?", but surely I'd only say "he/she/they" if I was talking about that person to someone else? Perhaps I've missed something, but it seems like a way of drawing attention to one's special status in a situation where people might otherwise not notice.

And anyway, if I hadn't spent so much time reading about this stuff on MN, I would probably have assumed that They Them was the name of some band that I hadn't heard of. There was The The back in the day, after all...

I've always wondered about Maria with the swearing on the bible in Court I swear by Almighty God that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Then she was forced to lie about the correct sex of her assailant and her compensation was reduced because she inadvertently used her assailant's correct sex.
So where the fuck is being kind there? A woman was beaten around the head by a male person that identified as female and the victim was ordered to lie in court. Under Oath.
Again what's fucking kind about that. Not very much.

ask me about my pronouns

OK. Why the fuck do you need special pronouns?

Maybe it's the most interesting thing about them?

I'd react exactly the same way I would to a badge reading "Ask me about Jesus" - nope, no thank you, I am not interested in being evangelized at.

The badge is actually saying:

“When you talk about me when I’m not present, I insist you refer to me in a certain way”.

I will not be dictated to as to how I will discuss people who aren’t even around.

I can’t imagine I will ever be in a position where I have to state my pronouns but if I do I will be channelling Titania McGrath and going for she/ra

I like it when people indicate their preferred pronouns. It makes it easier to be polite.

Do you find it hard to be polite broomstick ?

But the only way third person pronouns matter in terms of politeness is if the person in question isn’t there and you want to be polite about them when discussing them with others. This only matters if you’re worried those others would dob you in, or think you’re an evil T*rf for not complying. Given I don’t care any more about being dobbed in or whether people think I’m transphobic, due to the vagaries of that term, I now refuse to be compelled to talk about someone how they want if that’s not how I view them.

It’s like Donald Trump saying everyone must call him The Greatest President Ever and thinking we will all do it, particularly if he’s wearing a badge saying the same.

OT but I'm so, so glad to have littlbrowndog back...

I like it when people indicate their preferred pronouns. It makes it easier to recognise when the conditioning to which I've been subject since birth because of my biology is being played and I'm being gaslighted.

There was a trans prison in Scotland who wanted prison staff to call them Mighty Almighty (can't remember the actual name because really, which is more memorable?).

Refusing to call someone Mighty Almighty when they are in prison for doing Very Bad Thing - impolite?

Prisoner, not prison. There are no trans prisons, although that's not a bad idea, it would certainly make more sense than putting transwomen in with female prisoners.

Kittens 😂

Maybe they have really crap customer service and they want to make it harder to identify them from their colleagues.

I don't understand what a badge stating "they, them" is asking me to do. Can someone please explain

Go find a member of staff who's less likely to shout at you?

Dictating how others speak about you to other people is facist nonsense

”Absolutely, I was talking to a colleague the other day, and I called another colleague a N***. Someone overheard me and now I lost my job. Bloody fascists.”

Ok, I think the pronoun thing is ridiculous, but we do make judgements on how people talk about other people and it isn’t fascist to do so

Neither "he" nor "she" are slurs with centuries of racism and an international trade in human beings behind them.

For example I’m 1/3 on way to MN ban because on reporting on a radio conversation by a trans person. Who sounded 100% of one sex but who identified as another. Radio given no more visual clues just a voice. I accidentally typed the wrong pronoun.

I didnt swear or act aggressively (I’ve been called far worse on those boards myself and screamed at, without anyone finding that unacceptable) be mean or threaten or say anything racist or otherwise phobic. But it was suffice to a crime to be on way to ban forever. It’s not that people are “just being asked nicely” to try and remember someone’s changed how they feel, it’s potential if you get it wrong to end up in all sorts of trouble.

No wonder people feel forced at gunpoint into accepting these baffling changes and want point the over whelming unfairness if you get it wrong.

Thank you for articulating what my issue with this is - trying to control what people say about you when you're not there, as if it will make any difference to you whatsoever. It's Thought Crime really, isn't it? I bet these people are constantly disappointed that there aren't any gendered first and second person pronouns that they can get offended by.

Unlike some, who apparently struggle to be polite to others unless they have written guidance, I don't find it difficult to show common courtesy to people I have trivial interactions with throughout the day. If someone I knew personally started insisting on neutral pronouns, I would obviously try my best to do what they wanted, but I would probably limit any time I spent with them for fear of slipping up and being hauled over the coals for transgressing. I don't have any real-life friends who would bother with any of that stuff because we're all too old and boring, but I have backed off from a few casual Facebook acquaintances because it's now more trouble than it's worth to interact with them.

I was in the museum caff on Sunday and some young woman serving behind the counter was wearing one of the stupid, attention-grabbing, 'I'm centre of the world me' things. I did actually fill in a feedback card saying how exclusionary it was to people with learning disabilities and so on but I couldn't find a box to stick it in. This was also in Liverpool seeing as a PP has seen them around. I didn't know we were now the woke capital. Can't see the nans down Greatie wearing them tbh.

a shop assistant is one situation where I could see the point, if you believe in such things.

if you want to praise good service or criticise poor service to the manager you should be able to do so confident that what you say won't be ignored due to the only thing being noticed is the gender of the pronouns you use. and in a shop it's one of the few situations where you might need to refer to a stranger in the 3rd person within their earshot.

I guess there are circumstances where it might arise, e.g. if you were complaining about them or if you had to come back with a query and were asked which assistant had served you.

Well, you could say something like "that assistant with the blue hair.."

I think that this pronoun minefield will end up with everyone simply avoiding using pronouns at all.

Most places have name badge don’t they so you can say Alex Jo Sky was very helpful/unhelpful without needing to refer or know how they identify.