Another rough sex defence

[Imnobody4]

I'm really at a loss to comprehend what has happened to the jury here, I'm speechless. Juries no longer serve justice.
metro.co.uk/2019/11/04/man-cleared-savage-attack-girlfriend-claims-injured-weird-sex-game-11039580/

@WhineUp I was just about to catch up on your thread. Buts I see it's gone.

Shame, I like reading all the MRA try and win mumsnet.

Did you know that us feminazis who hate men are all RACIST now?

Strangling people during sex is just fucking weird and dangerous. Seeing as it keeps ending in women either dying or men using this as a cover up for murder something seriously needs to be done. There needs to be a campaign. Or god forbid some sort of law like if someone dies of strangulation during sex it’s murder. Because frankly It was probably murder.

I find it weird that, whenever the female strangling apologists turn up to say how much they love it, they always seem to spell it "chocking". Do you think it's some bot that is alerted by mentions of these sorts of cases? They always overshare details of what they allegedly like, and they always wang on about choice and kink-shaming. It's like there's a script.

(i also have noticed the "chocking" thing. Maybe Russian bots?

I doubt that's a bot thing tbh. I have to write 'choking' a lot because of my job and often mistype it the same way. I think autocorrect assumes you are more likely to be chocking up a car than choking anyone.

I just find the alternative - that there really are significant numbers of women who like being strangled, slapped, spat on, and verbally abused during sex - distressing and repulsive. And the fact that you are accused of kink-shaming if you state the (obvious, to me) opinion that it's not healthy or desirable to be turned on by your own degradation in that way.

I'm being accused of kink shaming on Twitter. Well I'm going to kink shame. We need more kink shaming. As well as a law against strangulation similar to the one in New Zealand.
Any time I see one of these strangling apologists pop up in these threads I am going to report the post.
It would be nice if MNHQ could take a stance on this.

These cases are just so appalling - thank you for your work on this WomanDares - I'm going to write to my local candidates to ask their stance on the legal changes needed.

Interesting if you scroll down that metro article to the headlines below. Both instances of male violence but no mention of men in the headlines.

The way these cases are reported are often so passive they leave the gendered nature of crime out.

I am with you FannyCann , we need more “kink” shaming.

We are sliding down a slippery slope.

The pro kink movement is about eroding boundaries. Porn is the main tool they are using.

I'm sure there are many young women who engage in "rough sex" willingly. Because porn is telling them its normal and what men what. And there are plenty of sadistic men lining up to indulge. These happy masochists, along with the happy hookers, empowered strippers and content porn actresses (who I think 95% of the time are mra trolls) are reinforcing the belief that the hyper sexulised up for anything women is normal, how should be.

We're going to have a generation of young girls injured, disturbed and at worst dead; because they have been coerced into being fuck toys to streams of men, all in the name of empowerment.

Anyone fancy starting a new thread in AIBU? As a woman in my mid-twenties who has to deal with the pornsoaked pillocks, this issue is important to me - but I've little left in me today. And I refuse to be fucking silenced on this. This is the 2nd thread on the choking issue that's been pulled.

I don't think I can have seen your threads @WhineUp
What reason was given for them being pulled?

On the one hand some of these threads are very eye opening, and in their way, the porn apologists who jump in to tell how great and empowering all these kinks are do serve a certain purpose on the learning curve. But I don't think that really justifies much tolerance of some of the posts I have seen on some threads.
I would really like MNHQ to take a stance on this if they haven't already (maybe they have and I'm unaware?). Choking/strangulation are extremely dangerous, it's not fun/play. New Zealand have passed a law against it. We need a similar law in the UK.
I would like zero tolerance of the enthusiasts who come on these threads. Couldn't Mumsnet get behind the we can't consent to this campaign and show their support by banning the promotion of certain unsafe practices and putting that in the posting guidelines?

Pulled because of explicit descriptions of sex - whether it was the kinksters' enthusiastic ramblings or the actual descriptions of injuries sustained by women in the criminal cases, I do not know.

FannyCann let me know if you need a hand on twitter

E.L.James and her Fifty Shades franchise has to take some responsibility for this.

Nothing that men do surprises me, including their allies in the legal profession.

Thanks WomanDaresTo
It wasn't a full on pile on! Ploppers on a thread about poor Grace Millane. I think they realised they were outnumbered. Anyone who comes on threads like that to say what fun xxx is and it just needs to be done right etc can fuck right off and I'm bloody well going to kink shame them and if they want to accuse me of prudery they're welcome, I will keep on kink shaming them.

It's not even bloody kink shaming.

Its biological reality.

There is no safe way to do this and if you get into choking people you could kill them.

The men who I was in touch with both said their girlfriends were the ones who wanted it and they liked it because the women did. To me that's not enough reason to do something so unsafe and risk a fucking GBH/murder charge. Leaving aside any connection with how misogynistic it is.

You know some of the research around second-hand harm from being exposed to egregious incidents?

I'm seriously wondering what the harm would be from being on a jury where all of the others accepted, "She coerced me into rough sex and for reasons best known to myself I persisted past the point of harm until her death. Although I was stronger, bigger, and the one who was demonstrably weaponising various objects, I had no choice".

I find these threads very difficult and often end up thinking about them on and off all day. I’m trying to make myself read them though, because the women involved deserve to have their stories heard and to know that they have someone standing beside them.

We’ve had a number of friends and family of the victims post on past threads so it’s definitely not just posting into a void.

Rhiannon, if you or any of your loved ones read this, know you have solidarity here. I am so glad you got away and survived to give this testimony, even if it didn’t result in a guilty verdict. Your strength is inspirational.

And to the friends and family of Grace, I am so sorry for your enormous loss - if you haven’t already done so, do consider contacting the charity SAMM (support after murder and manslaughter), who were invaluable to my family when dealing with the aftermath of murder and the particular type of grief it creates.
Hopefully Grace will get the justice she deserves.

I don't think that kink-shaming is particularly helpful because shaming women for enjoying things that could be described as kinky is not going to protect women more. There is a vast range of things that could be described as kinky, most of which are not harmful. It's the harmful and degrading practices that we want women to be comfortable to refuse and men to not see as erotic. Shaming won't achieve that. We need to educate young people about pornography, about the reality, about the harm, coercion and abuse involved in almost all of it.
We also need a judicial system that recognises violence for what it is and disallow the notion of consent as a defence.

I don't believe for one tiny minute that the women ask for this vile abuse but even if any woman ever did ask for any dangerous practice then what in God's name goes through the heads of these utterly shit men.

The law needs to say, I don't care if it was a game, I don't care if you didn't mean it, you killed someone and now you need to pay the price. Then they would not be able to use this utterly cowardly ridiculous reason.

Is there any charity or party or group working on this area. I want to donate to them. It's time the law represented women fairly. It's fucking failing right now.

that any women