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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bunbury’s Public Service Announcement 3.1

999 replies

GirlDownUnder · 12/08/2019 13:44

The useful Bunbury Guide to Spotting Community Disruptors is constantly evolving.

The best research and advice is not to engage with community disruptors and trolls. As ever, if you suspect troll activity, report it to MNHQ.

This is a continuation of the first Public Service Announcement thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3438714-Bunbury-s-Public-Service-Announcement-2

Thread 3 was deleted with this note from MNHQ; We're sure there will be a Bunbury 4 around soon, but we'd be grateful if we could draw a line under the issues raised in this thread if there's to be a new one.

If and when you see threads plopped into FWR, especially a curious repeat of well worn topics, maybe check for poster history before engaging.

There are a number of posts/posters/threads that are reproduced on Twitter or Facebook to foment controversy using screen shots & flagging to either MNHQ to have threads or posters deleted. Sometimes, it’s used to approach commissioning editors with ideas for articles. It’s a tiresome tactic that we’ve had several community disruptor posters who themselves post the comments that they then highlight elsewhere as purported evidence of racism, religious intolerance, anti-men sentiments, or transphobia.

Some helpful links can be found in the first posts on thread 2 (linked above) but in essence FermatsTheorem recommended “that in the absence of a block/hide poster button, I suggest the following strategy (given that you're talking to the lurkers).

Do not name check the sealion. Instead, respond to a depersonalised paraphrase:

"It is sometimes erroneously suggested that blah. Blah is wrong for the following reasons (short and pithy). If you need more information re. debunking blah, here's a link."

Then (this next step is important to combat derailment) go back up thread to the last useful contribution to the discussion, make sure you do name check that contributor, and pick up the discussion from that point.”

OP posts:
Thread gallery
23
JessicaWakefieldSV · 18/08/2019 18:24

Yes, you get jail time first and then permanent exile. I’ve concluded it’s easier just to lurk. I’m only here for the tea and biscuits.

GirlDownUnder · 18/08/2019 18:30

I’m only here for the tea and biscuits.

That would be a waste Jessica, you have a voice and story that’s worth listening to. It’s why you’re being noticed.

Be mindful of the ‘rules’ and the ‘lurkers’ even if it’s a pita and keep talking Flowers

OP posts:
ThatDoctorEM · 18/08/2019 18:54

Thanks GirlDownUnder and Jessica I never knew about the MumsNet jail and the exile.

No, I have not provided organ tributes to Thighs. What one's does she want?

GrinitchSpinach · 18/08/2019 20:05

Are you interested in vestigial organs/structures, Thigh? I’m afraid I’m out of appendices but I do have a tonsil or two to offer.

ThighThighOfthigh · 18/08/2019 22:28

Oh, we'll take anything, we're avid recyclers. We're currently redesigning the human body, it's rubbish. I can't even see the back of my head which is annoying.

2BthatUnnoticed · 19/08/2019 00:01

Jessica don’t stop talking, we need you!

I think there has been some regulatory capture here.

Btw I hadn’t realised Jenn Smith had been racist, when I posted on that thread the other day, I’m shocked and disappointed. Sorry for my post which was a bit clueless.

GirlDownUnder · 19/08/2019 00:18

I think there has been some regulatory capture here.

Yep.

OP posts:
GrinitchSpinach · 19/08/2019 02:28

Jessica I'm not up to date on what's happened with you (jail???), but I just want to chime in and say that I value your voice around these parts and would miss you if you retired from FWR, so please don't.

Thigh, I am ready for my tonsillectomy, and you could take a sinus too (more trouble than they're worth) but I expect the good drugs in return.

2BthatUnnoticed · 19/08/2019 03:14

Apropos of nothing, I had a random thought the other day.

Sometimes an authoritarian Dad applies control over children indirectly, by requiring Mom to ensure they meet certain (often unrealistic) standards. Mom lives in fear of the kids falling short, whereupon she will feel the full wrath.

And so devotes energy to policing the sanctioned behaviour (whatever private thoughts may be). This feels easier and safer than saying “No.”

Once the dynamic is set, the standards “required” in order to keep the peace can be increased.

Thigh it was nice how you came onto Thread 3.0 the other day - sisterly! Unless, of course, you were just after organs? Grin

JessicaWakefieldSV · 19/08/2019 08:19

There’s a suspension system with a second chance or permanent ban. Seems fair enough except what gets you there isn’t always IMO. It’s hard to stay within the rules if they aren’t always enforced evenly so I just can’t be bothered any longer. I appreciate everyone’s posts and updates on important things so best to abide by rules by not talking and using this to stay informed. It’s a good resource forum & that’s how I’ll use it.

ThighThighOfthigh · 19/08/2019 08:24

2B i don't generally weigh in on adult discourse but the stick they were beating you with was just inaccurate. How are you feeling, liverish? Toxins flushing? Are you a smoker?

ThighThighOfthigh · 19/08/2019 08:29

2B interesting thought re the parenting dynamic. It's done in subtle ways too. So many people (me included) talk of having a lovely Dad and a nag for a Mum. I had to parent for many years before realising Mum had dealt with all the shit while Dad went out to an interesting job. Of course she was perpetually pissed off and he was ready to play.

GirlDownUnder · 19/08/2019 08:37

2B your random thought is very interesting.

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ThighThighOfthigh · 19/08/2019 08:56

If you imagine something as simple as dental appointments for the dc i just can't imagine a father (in an intact family) making the appointment and then following everything through without referring to the mother. Yet the other way around is commonplace.

The father may take them, or be told to make the appointment. But to hold the information independently, no. And it's the mental admin of family life that is tiring. Always being "it".

LangCleg · 19/08/2019 09:05

For Thigh - the mental load:

english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

FermatsTheorem · 19/08/2019 09:14

Good to see you back from the naughty step Jessica. I find your voice invaluable, specially talking about racism and the ubiquity of sexual predators within sport.

(Of course the first of these is why our watchers have you targeted. You mess with their straw person narrative of "it's only white women", and you also mess with their attempts at cultural appropriation when you point up the reality of 3rd genders in Pacific cultures. If they view women talking as dangerous, then women talking from an informed position are doubly so. Can't be having that now, can we?)

FermatsTheorem · 19/08/2019 09:17

Thigh me too! My mum died when DS was a baby and one of many things I feel sad about is that I never got the chance to say "sorry for taking you for granted - I understand now."

ThighThighOfthigh · 19/08/2019 09:54

There you are Fermat don't you remember you got married many months ago to me and Naked? We talk of you often and wonder why you left us.

I agree re Mums, it took me parenting teens then YAs to get it. It's sad isn't it, I'm sorry you didn't get enough time.

VickyEadieofThigh · 19/08/2019 10:10

I do like that some of us are visiting the Thighs and that Thigh is dropping in over here.

Good sisterly sharing.

ThighThighOfthigh · 19/08/2019 10:27

We provide soothing harvesting to all RFFs. We're a single sex space.

LangCleg · 19/08/2019 10:31

Thigh - I refer you to the latter pages of the AGP Help thread. Some organs going spare right there.

ThighThighOfthigh · 19/08/2019 10:33

Thanks Lung but we're OK for vestigal organs.

FermatsTheorem · 19/08/2019 10:40

Oh god Thigh it's all coming flooding back. It's like one of those Vegas weddings presided over by Elvis that you forget about the next day when you've sobered up. (In fact, was it presided over by Elvis?)

ThighThighOfthigh · 19/08/2019 10:45

No, i think you exited when i demanded you team up with the other science honeyz for weapons development. I say Manhattan Project you say Goodbye.

TinselAngel · 19/08/2019 13:08

One of the best things that came from our doomed expedition to pastures new is the alliance between the Thisters and the Real Fanny Fighters.