"An open wound...": horrific detransitioner story

[Lamahaha]

No words for this. A 16 year old coerced into going the whole way up to genital surgery.
The result is heartbreaking.

sexchangeregret.com/27-year-old-man-regrets-having-surgery/?fbclid=IwAR2tl9j0hCdvvvkIBcvZjEAdrw28fUeKdv_-PsGSi1dqxZ0nh1DkBSWXgTo

WARNING: very graphic quote. If you think it's TOO graphic I'll report it. Not sure about MN rules. But I think we need to see this up front. Especially lurkers on the fence.

I tried to have sex with a man 8 months after my bottom surgery and I felt disgusted with myself for having him penetrate a pool of bacteria. Blood came out of the cavity during penetration and I could see he was uncomfortable with the looks of the vulva and with the feeling of the vagina on his penis.

He knew I was trans, I told him, but he had never dated a trans woman before.

I was diagnosed with bacterial vaginosis around 1 year post op. The vaginal cavity was full of unhealthy bacteria, despite me douching with isobetadine regularly.

At this point it became very clear to me that what I have between my legs is nothing more than a surgically created wound.

I honestly don’t understand how this surgery is even legal. It butchers a healthy body and comes with life threatening side effects.

victims patients

wtf do you think we are chained to operating tables and experimented on.

also mine works fine thank you very much. I have a slight nerve issue in my right leg but on the whole it was fine. a high posentage are though it can take upto 2 years post op and most people get very frustrated it's not instant.

I just find the complication rate for this surgery is so appalling considering these are healthy body parts prior to surgery, that I don't think it should happen at all. Tbh I think this surgery should be banned.

Leave sex out of it for a bit. To take one other type of complications only, the figures I am seeing in papers show 30-50% of patients demonstrating serious complications of continence which affect their lives significantly- both urinary and faecal. The papers suggest that lifetime specialist monitoring is required to avoid major continence and urological problems. Problems appear to worsen over time, and by 'over time' the papers mean a period of three years, which is pretty good follow up from a research point of view but pretty short if you're 18 years old with a long lifespan ahead of you.

I mean, wtaf? Suicide prevention is actually pretty good in this country. We've made huge strides in it. Stuff like reducing the size of paracetamol packets has made a difference. In the US this was considered too restrictive on individual freedom to be introduced. Why would anyone in THIS country say the solution to high suicide rates in trans young people is to fucking butcher their healthy mitigation and voiding systems? Anyone volunteering to wipe up the spilled piss and hand them the painkillers for their persistent infections?

Micturation system not mitigation.

Bespin the GRC isn't currently and should never be an option for young people. If by young people you mean under 18s.

Affirmation is an issue because if you have doctors and adults confirming a notion, it will become real. There's instantly much less scope for questioning. That's surely not a surprise or psychological phenomenon to you?

PurpleCrowbar

Well that's your view, there is very much a managed period for young people infact all people in the nhs.

also good for you, when you meet young trans people you might understand there issues better.

ah I see the americans are here, must be bedtime or morning to you all. have a lovely day. Night night

Given the unreliability of Mermaids suicide statistics, I dont buy their argument. Susie comes across as someone who desperately needs to justify her own actions. I think there is a massive danger that some children, perhaps with asd or trauma end up believing that transition will solve problems, when it won't. And that they may well end up far more unhappy (and a lot less healthy) 5, 10 even 50 years hence than if they had not.

(And the clip of Susie Green and her mother laughing about the childs penis is beyond awful. What mother does that.)

I think there is a massive shortage of research, particularly research not carried out by vested interests ...including academics like Sally Hines. And that this means consent cannot be informed consent.

I also believe, based on knowledge of two young people who believe they are trans, and of their worried but supportive parents who would like them to take time over any decision, that affirmation only approaches in schools, amongst social workers etc are a disaster. Teenagers can be fickle and bolshie and suggestable and insecure. By definition they lack experience. They need to be encouraged to be cautious before making life changing decisions. There needs to be sensible gatekeeping to ensure the most vulnerable are protected.

There appears to be very little support for families beyond Transgender Trend, who are slammed by the trans community, for a watchful waiting approach. This is wrong.

Glad though that you agree on the Webberleys . What shocked me was that there was a history of on line doctoring including thinks like looking at photos of moles and skin blemishes, before they settled on prescribing hormones. More money there I presume.

Bespin, I've been hanging out with non gender conforming people for 5 decades. I work with young people. I would absolutely be headed down the trans route myself if I were a teenager now.

That whole 'oh but if only you MET some young trans identifying people...' trope is OVER. You're talking to people who are not unfamiliar with gender questioning young people.

I was that kid, I've taught that kid, I'd rather that kid didn't get sterilised given that there's an over 80% chance that they've got a 'not actually a trans adult at all' adulthood to look forward to, if we can all only keep them safe from dubious characters who are desperate to see them under the knife after a couple of years of unresearched drugs 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think there is a massive danger that some children, perhaps with asd or trauma end up believing that transition will solve problems, when it won't.

This is and as always been an issue in the whole. of the trans community. transition does not solve all your issues infact it might give you some others but what it might do is life the constant thought about your gender and mean that you can start to address the other things.

also transgender trend do not support families they just published a panflet once and have done little since.

Yes, isn’t it funny that a woman who circumvented UK clinics to access life-altering medications for her child, then circumvented UK law to access an illegal operation for her child, then continues to push for both of these treatments for other people’s children, isn’t well liked on MN.

I think there is a massive danger that some children, perhaps with asd or trauma end up believing that transition will solve problems, when it won't.

Do you mean that they shouldn't 'transition'? Drugs & surgery would be a mistake? For some children?

How can you be sure you've got the right ones?

Bespin, thank you for sharing your perspective. Rose of Dawn is promising to make a video covering trans and young people but is clearly struggling between a personal experience of dysphoria and the obvious need to protect young people.

I am glad that there is agreement on the need for caution.

My experience of a child who was determined they were the opposite sex until the age of eight, but who then completely grew out of it, will be different to yours. I am so glad my child got through it before the whole Mermaids thing happened, and it seems clear that we need to understand what lies behind the effective epidemic of ROGD amongst teenage girls. We also need to know a lot more about the long term effects of hormones, and thecrisks of surgery.

Shutting down debate and labelling people terfs and transphobes does nothing to protect young people. So again, thank you for engaging.

Needmoresleep

our experience of young people will be the same, I have meet a number of young people who have grown out of it, or come for a bit identified as trans and then decided they are not, or that they are non binary which people on here don't seem to like either even though most non binary people don't seek any form of medical assistance.

I often feel sorry for Rose as she is struggling a lot on somethings but pushes away from the community that could support her in those struggles, which seems to have started due to her not liking other student trans people. I can understand that, I do think there are small groups that look to control the agenda on both sides of this and the rest of us are just swept up in it all.

both sides are now shutting down debate, you only have to look at how much this board is now policed. if people are allowed to talk eventually they find the things they have in comman not the things they don't.

I appreciated wpuk's early attempt to try and include all voices before people started pushing them to the side. I didn't agree with most of there stuff but at least it was a conversation not just a rant.

Yes, I view this person as a victim. Of grooming and gross medical negligence, and of a climate that allows affirmation without question then turns the other way when they try and tell everyone their problems.

My friend massively thanked me when I shared that article with him for talking him out of it.

Bespin
You talk about 'trans children'. Can you be more specific about who you would consider to be a 'trans child'. Are these just the children who are disgusted by their own sexual organs, or are you also referring to children who don't conform to gender stereotypes? Or do you have another definition?

Do you believe that a child who has not gone through puberty can consent to treatment which will leave them infertile and with no sexual function?

Thank you Oldcrone, I was going to ask exactly this.

No one can ever answer my question regarding what a trans child is.

And this is fundamental as it's starting to be banded about in schools and even schemes of work etc. And no one has an actual clear definition of what this is.

Good questions Oldcrone

More than 80% desist with wait and watch.

Suicide stats banded about have been debunked.

Blockers increase suicidal and self harm thoughts.

Blockers research shows they cause harm including medical castration and put children on a pathway of further transition - so the 80% that would desist are damaged by hormones and possibly even surgery like in this heartbreaking story.

Any surgery is dangerous and permanent so no surgery should be performed on the healthy bodies of minors.

Comorbidities need to be assessed and dealt with prior to considering transitioning anyone.

No one under 18 can be legally considered trans and nor should they ever be. No medical proffessional should be harming the healthy body of a minor, through drugs or surgery - first do no harm!