Old lady.... why is this still an acceptable insult

[FrameyMcFrame]

I've heard it so many times recently.

'You do x,y or z like an old lady'.

Because being compared to a old woman is pretty much like saying you're the lowest of the low, pathetic and deserving of ridicule?

I'm so angry when I hear this.

It's always men who say this.

They want to meet my mum

I would certainly not be insulted to be told I’m like my mum

But yes, I have seen this and it’s horrible

It's misogyny. And it starts young. "You run like a girl." There's no escape from it at any stage of life for women. But it gets worse the older you are.

It's always men who say this

Not always. The casual ageism on MN is pretty appalling. I've seen it on FWR too.

On MN it tends to be stupid comments about "old people" might not understand why gollies are offensive or there's nothing wrong with being gay.

Not always men, take a look on S and B,the ageist comments on there are appalling.

I got called an old troll on a thread the other day,not worried about being called a troll but VERY pissed off at old being used as an insult!

I agree women say it too. Ageism is rife on Mumsnet. I hang out on Style and Beauty a lot and I'm always complaining about it. And before you all start feeling smug, I've seen 'mutton' used on FWR too.

It's true but there is quite a bit of ageism on MN. There are quite a few "some old lady tried to look at my baby" type threads.

Yes Floisme I recognise you from there and pointing out ageist posts.

"Do these sandals make me look old?"

"Are these a bit old lady on me?"

"Are these too old for me,I'm 30?"

Young TRAs use boomer as an insult.

It's fucking annoying, partly as I'm not one so a double insult is intended (you look old), partly as age shouldn't be seen as an insult anyway, and partly because I absolutely hate the word (don't mind baby boomer so much, but "boomer" on its own gives me the rage).

Youth is arrogant as fuck... do they think that it won't happen to them one day. I wish I lived in a culture where age is revered.

FWR is definitely not immune.

I agree it's ageist.

But.... Why is 'old man' not such a popular insult though?

BernardBlack, exactly, my Mum is the same too

I'm justgetting VERY angry about this stuff at the moment.

Me too framey.

The like a girl thing really fucks me off..

I'm wondering if it's an age thing; it's like I see the patriarchy fucking everywhere at the moment.

I think old man is just as nasty.

Dirty old man etc.

My partner and I, in our 50s, had hip young friends who used to refer to us as nannas. We laughed off the offence at first, then asked them to stop but it kept slipping out.

Then they became flag-waving, terf-hating transgender allies and we parted company. I now see that a lack of respect for older women and older feminists is all part of the bundle of shit that comes with transgender ideology.

Nannas? Wtf!!!

We're an older lesbian couple — pretty radical and alternative and certainly nothing like their grandmothers — so for a while we managed to laugh it off and pretend it wasn't ageist. But of course it was.

I agree ageism is pretty rife. I do think it goes both ways though. There's a thread at the moment that has a heavy emphasis on TRA's being too young and silly to know better.

Yes, I agree. I'm nearly 60 now and like a lot of women I've found confidence has come with age and that I am more comfortable with myself now that ever before, so ageism comes as a bit of a shock. But I remember how naive and lost I was in my teens and 20s and how complicated it's been to find my way to who I am now, so I try not to talk down to younger people. It was difficult the other day, though, when my 22-year-old niece said to me, seriously, that the worst thing she could imagine happening to her was having to have a filling in a tooth...

I’m more than happy to be called an old lady as there are far worse things to be called.
I am old ( from a teenager’s point of view) and I’m a lady. So I just don’t worry about it.

Of course there's nothing wrong with being an old lady - I'm not far off being one myself. As far as I'm concerned, the problem isn't using it as a descriptor if it's correct, although I do wonder sometimes what the relevance is. But what I really object to is when it's used as an insult.

I don’t know. Irrespective of age, I always call a creepy man a dirty old man.

I notice a similar thing about men and height rather than age. eg "He's a horrid little man".

Yes, Dh trotted something out about "small man syndrome" which I was appalled about not so long ago. He's not that tall himself ffs.

Yes I think there are some phrases that are such a part of the lexicon that we rather lose sight of their objective meaning.

Who says it's acceptable?
It's not always men as others have said.
It's ageism.
I've heard "drives like an old man" i.e. slowly, "drives like a pensioner" too. From women and men.

I don't know that I consider all of these offensive. Some are and are meant to be, or are disrespectful.

Others though are more like stereotyped, but still often true, observations. Someone who drives like a little old lady for example, that creates a very specific sort of image, I know just what they mean, and it's true many old people do drive that way, which is why I know and the image is so evocative. Or similarly, saying someone fusses like a little old man.

Does anyone really think that means all old ladies drive in an overly-cautious manner, or that all old men are fussy, or small? I don't really think so. I think it's more a kind of poetic expression.