Booking an abortion and asked if I identified as male or female

[Fuckfuckfuckshit]

I actually laughed down the phone. The woman at Marie stopes agreed she felt embarrassed even asking that question given the topic - world is going crazy. Least it gave me a laugh in an otherwise not very funny topic

Mental. Hope you are okay

I am fine 100% right decision for me and my family but I have to wait a week (won’t do it until 6 weeks) and am dreading morning sickness kicking in

Hope you're ok

But headdesk for Marie Stopes.
Thought they had more sense.

Well I think it’s probably helpful for Marie Stopes to know if they will have a trans man coming in and probably also good for the patient to be able to make them aware before they arrive 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why should it matter? If it's someone booking in for a termination, if they have a uterus and are pregnant, they get attended to. If not, surely to hell they'd get a bollocking for time wasting?

If this isn't the case, the world really is going mad

And hope you're ok, OP x

Jeeze. Sending

So they are asking very fucking woman who phones up, on the < 1 in a thousand chance that one of them might identify as a man? What a bizarre decision

Well I think it’s probably helpful for Marie Stopes to know if they will have a trans man coming in and probably also good for the patient to be able to make them aware before they arrive

They could ask something like 'do you have a preferred form of address'.

I would imagine some transgender people might prefer not to be asked about their 'identity' in this context.

If person was raped, and became pregnant, far less awkward if the clinic is aware they identify as a man, isn’t it?

Or should they just have to accept that they can’t be referred to by their chosen pro-noun during what would be a really traumatic experience, because people here think it’s a stupid question for them to be asked?

So they are asking very fucking woman who phones up, on the < 1 in a thousand chance that one of them might identify as a man? What a bizarre decision

How do you suggest they identify that 1 in a thousand person if it isn’t by asking everyone.

What’s so wrong with being asked?

Under what circumstances would pronouns be used to someone's face though

‘How would you like to be addressed’ so as not to offend people who don’t identify as either male or female should cover the .01%.

I live in a dream world and would like us to get back to the old days of, oh, maybe five whole years ago, when it was generally understood that having female anatomy made a person female, regardless of which gender stereotypes they complied with. Hence health care professionals who need to know what sex someone is in order to treat them properly not having the additional complication of checking someone's gender identity.

I don't care how other people dress and present to the world. I don't care if a young woman given the name Lily decides in her teens she wants to be called Max. All fine. I just don't want to live in a world where having short hair, not wearing dresses or makeup or high heels and choosing a non-traditional feminine name suddenly magically turns a young woman into someone who has a male brain in a female body and therefore needs medical treatment to fix the body.

Hope all goes well for you, OP.

Yabbers because a lot of people don't identify as anything. Identifying as male or female isn't the default the vast majority just accept reality.
If a transman does become a patient then that can be dealt with during the booking procedure. Of course they should their wishes respected as regards their own care , but no need to involve other patients.

Talk about 'whattaboutary' Yabbers
Of the tiny percentage of people who identify as a transmale, a tiny percentage of those people may become pregnant through rape of which a tiny percentage of those may want an abortion. But because of the miniscule chance this might occur health professionals should ask every single user of their service (who are ALL biological women) just in case.

The pandering is what gets me. I'm a lesbian. I don't get offended when my doctor asks me if I'm on birth control. Because the vast majority of women my age need to think about their contraceptive choices. I don't because of my sexual orientation. But do i need to demand special treatment? No.

but no need to involve other patients.

It’s one fucking question. Hardly a major imposition, is it.

Of the tiny percentage of people who identify as a transmale, a tiny percentage of those people may become pregnant through rape of which a tiny percentage of those may want an abortion
So, because it’s unlikely, they should just ignore the possibility, because a whole bunch of people are ridiculously offended by it, because they have bigger issues about trans-rights? What a shitty world we live in.

I'm a lesbian. I don't get offended when my doctor asks me if I'm on birth control

Good for you. You aren’t the only lesbian in the world and can’t possibly speak to how every one feels about being asked this. Not everybody is happy with the default to what is considered the societal norm.

If a person was raped and became pregnant then they would have to be a woman because only women can get pregnant.
If they preferred to present themselves in a traditionally Male way and want to use male pronouns then I’m sure the very very very tiny number of people in that position would be treated appropriately when they arrived

The pandering is what gets me
Me too. If you want to be treated as a man when you're obviously a female then the onus is on the individual to speak up, not the rest of the world to adapt.
My ex was filling an online form when he had to fill this in, the first time he'd come across it. He was like 'WTF???'
Ridiculous.

Presumably the trans man is actually verbal and would be able to say BTW just to let you know I identify as a trans man. I mean it's nothing to be ashamed of. Just the same as someone with a disability might mention it if it's relevant to access etc

Xpost feelingverylazytoday

I understand the need to ask but the fact that it was worded as ‘male or female’ is wrong imo. Male and female refers to biological sex, if you are pregnant you are female, whether you identify as a woman, a man, non binary etc.

It's one fucking question. Hardly a major imposition is it
It implies that everyone has to go along with the whole ridiculous concept of identiying as something so yes it is an imposition. Many people want no part of identity politics.

It implies that everyone has to go along with the whole ridiculous concept of identiying as something so yes it is an imposition. Many people want no part of identity politics.

Precisely this. It’s a pernicious slow creep, coercing women into believing they have chosen to identify with the female gender role, as if this really was a matter of personal, chosen, identification, rather than a societally imposed position.

It’s one fucking question. Hardly a major imposition, is it.

It might be for a woman who has been raped or in other ways abused by men.