Booking an abortion and asked if I identified as male or female

[Fuckfuckfuckshit]

I actually laughed down the phone. The woman at Marie stopes agreed she felt embarrassed even asking that question given the topic - world is going crazy. Least it gave me a laugh in an otherwise not very funny topic

NO

The person with female anatomy who "identifies as male" can tell the clinic if they are sensitive about how people refer to them when they are being talked about.

I do not "identify as female". I have no fucking idea how that would feel. I do know how it feels to be female; to have my consent overridden; to need a clinic like this.

I do not consent to being forced to "identify" with a gender identity that I don't have, whose roots lie in a system of inequality which has caused me a shit load of harm, just to appease the politics of a loud group of people.

It is despicable to ask this of women at such a vulnerable time.

for OP

It's the use of the terms female and male which is wrong - only females can get pregnant, even if they identify as a man.

The correct question to ask of the person is how they would like to be addressed.
They can then say Miss/Ms/Mrs or Mr. Or Rosie, or Jim.
Job done.

can’t possibly speak to how every one feels about being asked this
Neither can you?

Not every transmale might want to be asked that question. They might not feel its relevant when getting an abortion. So now we're down to an even tinier percentage of people that question is relevant to.
Almost irrelevant you might say.

So, because it’s unlikely, they should just ignore the possibility, because a whole bunch of people are ridiculously offended by it, because they have bigger issues about trans-rights?
I thought getting offended was how you get things changed.

Also you've no idea about my personal views on trans rights as a whole. I think asking women ringing for an abortion their gender identify is daft. Thats why I'm commenting on this partucular thread.

It might be for a woman who has been raped or in other ways abused by men.

Careful you don’t do yourself an injury with that massive leap there. 🙄 women who are abused lived with the term “he” being used everywhere every day. They see male friends and colleagues every day, are you really suggesting abused women should be shielded from anything to do with men in every aspect of life?

It implies that everyone has to go along with the whole ridiculous concept of identiying as something so yes it is an imposition. Many people want no part of identity politics.

Because you don’t agree with it, everybody has to live your way? What kind of shitty attitude is that? I don’t want to play a part in the non medical gluten free faddy bollocks, I’m not bothered by the freefrom aisle in Tesco, nor bothered if I’m asked if I have special dietary requirements on a menu form.

I thought getting offended was how you get things changed.

Unless you are transgender, then you can just fuck off, apparently.

are male partners allowed in to support female?

Can men get pregnant now?

So, because it’s unlikely, they should just ignore the possibility, because a whole bunch of people are ridiculously offended by it, because they have bigger issues about trans-rights?

Why is the actual offence of women 'ridiculous' but the potential offence of a hypothetical transman worthy of an entire policy to cater to them?

They see male friends and colleagues every day, are you really suggesting abused women should be shielded from anything to do with men in every aspect of life?

You seem to think transmen, who are PREGNANT, should be shielded from the word she/woman etc

Can men get pregnant now?
Women who identify as men can. But, oh yes, I forgot, they are forgotten in most of these “debates”

Male and female mean something, and that something is critical within the medical context so blurring the meanings is dangerous. If I was booking an abortion for myself I would be both insulted and concerned.

You seem to think transmen, who are PREGNANT, should be shielded from the word she/woman etc

Not shielded from it, just respected enough not to be called it.

Why is the actual offence of women 'ridiculous' but the potential offence of a hypothetical transman worthy of an entire policy to cater to them?
Still trying to work ot what is remotely offensive about being asked how you identify.

Only females need abortions. Only females are still denied the legal right to abortion in some parts of the UK. Anything that turns a fundamental women's rights issue into a 'gender neutral' one is offensive.

Nothing offensive about being asked what I prefer to be called. Everything offensive about asking me, when I'm pregnant and about to go through a termination, if I identify as male.

If someone who is booking an abortion will be offended by being addressed as a woman the next the onus is on them to make the clinic aware of their preferred pronouns. A clinic that performs abortions are perfectly reasonable in assuming all their patients are women and shouldn’t be forced to check every single time.

Not shielded from it, just respected enough not to be called it.

Absolutely, once they make the clinic aware of how they identify/ wish to be addressed. Why is the onus on the clinic to ask every female patient if they identify as male?

A clinic that performs abortions are perfectly reasonable in assuming all their patients are women and shouldn’t be forced to check every single time.

And 100% of their patients are female, regardless of 'gender identity'.

Surely it’s fairly simple....

“Can I take your full name please”
“Yes it’s Mrs Jane Smith”
“Thanks Mrs Smith - please come at 10am.”

“Can I take your full name please”
“Yes - it’s Mr John Smith”
“Thanks Mr Smith. Can I confirm that you identify as male?”
“Yes I do.”
“Thanks Mr Smith. Can you come at 10am.”

I know abit about why they might be asking this, I may be wrong!!! It may not be soo much about pronouns, but if a trans man is taking testosterone (especially with the preception that T can make you infertile within a few months 100% of the time) whilst pregnant it can effect the body, even more and special consideration may be needed during the procedure. Again might be wrong but from information I have received, I hunk it's something along these lines! Most clinics do not ask, so it may be that they've had a problem/a few trans men through.
I hope your okay op X

And 100% of their patients are female, regardless of 'gender identity'.

Exactly.

I'd have thought there would be various medical issues which might be relevant to treatment, surely the place to raise those is during the appointment with a medical professional, not over the phone?

Women too polite?

If they tried this on the circumcision booking line, they'd get some very appropriate replies.

Isn't it like being asked if you're a Miss or Mrs? Married or with a partner, basically it's irrelevant. If you're pregnant and wish not to be and you're calling to book an abortion the important information would be name, how many weeks, previous medical conditions/births etc and when can they make the appointment. The rest can be done in person and again it's not relevant. Maybe a 'can I call you OhHoly?'

How you identify with pronouns etc is really not important IMO but MS like to give a client-lead experience and I guess they have drunk the kool-aid... I used to work there so I'm very surprised by this and really upset TBH. It was a really amazing place where I worked with some incredible men and women.

Surely, if it is a matter of testosterone, this will be covered by asking what meds are being taken, which needs be asked anyway.

FFS, the world has gone mad. 😳

At least it made you laugh, OP