Booking an abortion and asked if I identified as male or female

[Fuckfuckfuckshit]

I actually laughed down the phone. The woman at Marie stopes agreed she felt embarrassed even asking that question given the topic - world is going crazy. Least it gave me a laugh in an otherwise not very funny topic

I'm obviously missing something but surely trans men wouldn't get pregnant if they want to be men?

Why do a female only thing like getting pregnant if you identify as a man. Makes no sense to me but I am old.

Barring rape obvs.

You'd think so Sue but some do. But instead of acknowledging this makes them women it becomes 'men can get pregnant too'. There is currently a court case in the UK with a transman fighting to be named father on the BC, creating the first 'motherless' child.

I would actually find this really upsetting. Requiring an abortion is a singularly female thing. Being asked if I "identify" as it would probably reduce me to tears, in that situation.

*Isn't it like being asked if you're a Miss or Mrs? Married or with a partner, basically it's irrelevant”

Not if you are striving to help a customer feel comfortable.

If you turned up and they automatically assumed you were miss as a 20 year old or Mrs as a 40 year old and addressed you that way I’m fairly certain there would be a similar outraged frothy post here. For sure someone would suggest they could just ask when you booked the appointment and avoid offence. I doubt anyone (sensible) would claim that was a terrible thing to do because they don’t want to buy in to the categorising of women by their relationships.

But I don’t expect this echo chamber of “feminists” to get it, just froth froth froth about it all, not realising that by making such a fuss over something so trivial, it negates the valid arguments made about conflicting rights.

Why do a female only thing like getting pregnant if you identify as a man. Makes no sense to me but I am old.

Barring rape obvs.

Answering your own question there.

Again, Yabbers, why is women's upset trivial, but transmen's potential upset understandable?

If you turned up and they automatically assumed you were miss as a 20 year old or Mrs as a 40 year old and addressed you that way I’m fairly certain there would be a similar outraged frothy post here. For sure someone would suggest they could just ask when you booked the appointment and avoid offence

Sure, as has been pointed out they could cover all bases with a neutral 'how do you prefer to be addressed' question. It's good practice anyway for everyone, and provides opportunity for anyone who wants to specify unusual honorifics or pronouns to do so.

Why ask a question that's irrelevant to most users of the service and might upset some (transmen included) when it's easy enough to do something better?

There is a further implication in what you identify as; sex stereotypes (gender) present women/females as kind/caring, who are pleased to give birth to babies and give up their lives to bring them up. In this context ‘do you identify as female?’ could carry impliedjudgement; why are you having an abortion if you identify with motherhood/pink/caring-ness? Whereas obviously if you identify as Male you are making a rational decision. As such it is very insulting to women to ask this question.

Only females can get pregnant. You can identify how you like for the rest of your life but only females can get pregnant. Let’s stop pandering to the deluded.

Again, Yabbers, why is women's upset trivial, but transmen's potential upset understandable?

Being upset at being asked this kind of question is trivial. Nobody minds being asked their ethnicity, or their marital status, or whether they are homosexual, but how very dare they suggest you might be trans? Give me a break.

Stop pretending this is about the actual question and at least be honest that this is about why the question is being asked.

Well I'm as amused as OP.

This does concern me as by definition I would expect such a service to be female orientated. If abortion services aren't focussed on women.....despair.

Its the most incongruous question you could ask a woman who is trying to book an abortion.

They already asked what I preferred to be called and what medication I was on - which would have covered it.
It just seemed so ludicrous under the circumstances

Being upset at being asked this kind of question is trivial.

That always seems to be the case when it comes to women doesn't it. We are supposed to quietly accept being called bleeders, cervix havers, menstruators. We should not be offended at being asked if we identify as male when we are seeking the uniquely female service of abortion, when we might be victims of rape, DV, previous birth trauma, all things that females cannot identify their way out of. Women must accept their erasure as a class, pretend that things that solely affect and oppress women now include men, and we must do it willingly, no matter how much it offends or upsets us. Because the possibility of a trans person being upset by reality is far far worse.

If a trans man is raped and impregnated it shows just how meaningless trying to identify as the opposite sex is. They are still treated with the contempt by males as the rest of us.

Yabbers
Listen to yourself..
But I don’t expect this echo chamber of “feminists” to get it, just froth froth froth about it all, not realising that by making such a fuss over something so trivial, it negates the valid arguments made about conflicting rights

Making a fuss are we?

A transman is perfectly capable of making arrangements concerning abortion since they're so determined not to be seen as a female.

But hang on, a few weeks ago there were threads about self Id meaning important physiological conditions could be missed. Why is it offensive to be asked? I get asked if I'm a smoker. I'm not. I say no. Get over your prejudice.

Trust me, this site is no echo chamber.

important physiological conditions could be missed
Correct.

Therefore
Why would transman need reminding that they are biologically female?

"Many people want no part of identity politics."

Exactly, only human females can become pregnant and that includes females who identify as transmen.
Has the world gone totally mad, or is it just a tiny minority of influential people trying to drive us all mad?

As a female I would be offended if I was asked that question.

Because they don't see themselves as ladies wearing trousers. They see themselves as male. So they may neglect symptoms etc. This was a huge argument against self Id with regards to cervical screening etc. I don't think those people decide they won't get cancer. They neglect the possibility as they live a male life where cervical screening isn't necessary. I'm not in any way advocating or opposing any kind of life. Simply, I get asked how many units I drink (not an alcoholic), if I smoke, (don't). It really doesn't stress me out being asked. I fail to see why a question with a one word answer is remotely inconvenient when the answer could be so pivotal to the care of that one in 1000.

In this context ‘do you identify as female?’ could carry impliedjudgement; why are you having an abortion if you identify with motherhood/pink/caring-ness? Whereas obviously if you identify as Male you are making a rational decision. As such it is very insulting to women to ask this question

Oh come off it. "In this context" is the staff at a Marie Stopes abortion clinic. Are you seriously suggesting their staff would apply such a judgemental attitude?

The question could have been better framed as "how should we address you?" but please do not make up hyperbolic nonsense like this.

Booking an abortion and asked if I identified as male or female

The maddest thing I've seen all day. I wonder if this came about when someone said oh we have to be inclusive, can't leave trans men out, and instead of considering how many trans men would use the clinic this was thought acceptable.

It's not acceptable and it's not necessary. It's one more example of women having to make room for others because someone might get upset if we don't, another case of feelz v facts.

It implies that everyone has to go along with the whole ridiculous concept of identiying as something so yes it is an imposition. Many people want no part of identity politics. Agree.

But does it make any difference at the point of booking the appointment how I identify? Every single person booking an appointment for an abortion is female. Why ask this truly bemusing question at this point? Nobody is excluded from abortion services by being a smoker or being on testosterone or any other medication, can't that be dealt with by a questionnaire on arrival? It doesn't make any.logical sense to ask this question at this point, it just seems like performing inclusivity at the expense of a large number of women who will not be enjoying this phone call and who are unlikely to want it extended?