Banned from women-only FB group

[maet]

A trans woman edited by MNHQ because OP is using second language posted in a women's only FB group wanting free emotional labour and "validation" from untrained women to help them with getting over their abusive ex boyfriend.

I stated it wasn't appropriate to ask untrained women to take on their emotional labour, especially considering what had happened to them was so traumatic (according to them they ended up in hospital), and especially not for free and suggested they seek professional help instead.

Cue trans woman and women stating I was being transphobic, and "wouldn't understand the fear a marginalised group would go through."

I was told I hadn't been through a traumatic experience before so couldn't possibly understand what the OP was going through.

I've been banned from a group specifically designed for women. Nowhere in the post did I mention anything about the OP being trans.

I am so sick of this shit. The world has gone mad.

"If she'd posted a racist comment would you be saying it was the fault of the victim and that as the person who said it had been a member longer it was ok?"

Are you likening suggesting a person who has suffered a trauma to see professional help, rather than using an inappropriate forum to ask for support, to racism? That's ridiculous.

Datun

I'm not disagreeing with the ops account. I'm taking what she said that she posted - it's there in the op. She clearly reports what she said.

I can see why it was deemed offensive by other group members and the admin.

Why don’t you change your name to littlebrowndog ?

But, littlbrowndog is littlebrowndog and anyone who says she needs an 'e' to prove it is just a bigot.

bare

But she got annoyed with me when i spelt it right 😭

Go on to PistonHeads and tell them all your problems. Then report back to tell us how you got on.

I'm not disagreeing with the ops account

From your post earlier:

DecomposingComposers Sun 14-Jul-19 19:57:36
I don't believe for one moment that a trans woman posted about domestic abuse and then asked for women to "validate" them

Twist away at the OP's ability to cross translate the OP's ability to translate the nuances of language. It reflects more about you than the OP.

Are you likening suggesting a person who has suffered a trauma to see professional help, rather than using an inappropriate forum to ask for support, to racism? That's ridiculous.

No, I'm likening what the OP herself says she said, to racism. She didn't, according to her op, just suggest that a person who has suffered trauma should seek professional help.

She told them to stop expecting woman to do their emotional labour for free. That's very different.

She does need an E

I have to check the dictionary to spell Reindeer everytime i name change

I can see why it was deemed offensive by other group members and the admin.

It was deemed transphobic.

I'd suggest the Porsche forum. I'm sure they're very understanding:

www.pistonheads.com/gassing/forumgroup.asp?c=39

Twist away at the OP's ability to cross translate the OP's ability to translate the nuances of language. It reflects more about you than the OP.

I haven't twisted a single thing. The OP said that the tw specifically asked for women to validate them. I don't believe that. At all.

I do believe that what the OP said in their opening post is what they said.

Not twisting anything.

Yes, she set a boundary. So what? Women have the right to say no to males without being accused of bigotry. Except of course we don't.

Bang go our boundaries.

Decomposing is being deliberately obtuse.

The OP simply suggested the TW should contact one of the English speaking professionals in Berlin. There is nothing offensive what so ever I'm what she posted. When people shout transphobe though to many cower.

But she got annoyed with me when i spelt it right

That's because she doesn't need to have an 'e' to be littlebrowndog. Some littlebrowndogs have no 'e'. Get over it.

OP, you have been targeted by community disruption. And I admire your your fortitude and spirit. .

Yes, she set a boundary. So what?

She can set her own boundaries to whatever she wants. What she can't do is impose them on a private group, not set up by her.

If she didn't like anything about the group then she could leave. Why does she have the right to tell other members of the group, or admin, what to do?

I seriously want to see the people here, defending this MTF trans, showing up on a tech forum to report their trauma, go to PistonHeads to do the same thing. Maybe you'll get a positive reception.

I'm thinking of setting up an underground guerilla group specifically for mumsnet refugees. I cannot believe what the poor woman who started this thread is having to deal with

The OP simply suggested the TW should contact one of the English speaking professionals in Berlin. There is nothing offensive what so ever I'm what she posted. When people shout transphobe though to many cower.

This is what the OP says

I stated it wasn't appropriate to ask untrained women to take on their emotional labour, especially considering what had happened to them was so traumatic (according to them they ended up in hospital), and especially not for free and suggested they seek professional help instead.

I don't think that's simply advising them to speak to an English speaking counsellor in Berlin.

I don't think it's me being obtuse.

She didn't impose, she made a suggestion. The imposition was the MTF trans, changing the nature of the group, by using them as agony aunties, instead of finding an appropriate forum to get support.

MTF trans, being male, got their own way though and the OP and her fellow member are banned. All's right with the world.

FormerMediocreMale

I fail to see how what OP said wasn't offensive.

Would you consider it inoffensive if someone told a woman speaking about abuse that she needs to stop asking women to do their emotional labour for free?

She didn't impose, she made a suggestion

What suggestion did she make?

Members of groups always have ideas about how a forum should operate. There are massive threads about this on Mumsnet for example on all sorts of different topics. Having an investment in a community and upholding community norms is reasonable.

Indeed Decomposing
Women must have no right to expect their boundaries to be accepted. Who are we to expect women only groups, showers, hospital wards, refuges, toilets, forums when there is a man to be centred? A woman's group must always centre a born man if he so demands it.

Decomposing

The OP was a rant/vent about a situation. The OP then copied and pasted her exact words, which was simply suggesting the TW contact an Englush speaking proffesdional. Im pretty sure you have RTFT, hence my comment that you are being obtuse.